Saturday, September 26, 2009

'You'd be surprised what some of these morons write on the Internet'

Actually, I'm not surprised at all, but I'm grateful the guy who answered the phone was willing to talk when he got a call from me past 10 p.m. on a Saturday. My brief report for The American Spectator:
"Yes, we are concerned about what people are saying on the blogs," a Kentucky law enforcement official said Saturday night, speaking on condition of anonymity.
The murder of Bill Sparkman in Clay County, Ky., has caused bloggers to engage in widespread speculation about the motive for the killing. Sparkman was employed part-time conducting a Census Bureau survey. . . .
The Kentucky State Police are coordinating the investigation of Sparkman's death. Trooper First Class Don Trosfer, based in the agency's London, Ky., Post 11 is the official spokesman for the investigation, but was unavailable for comment late Saturday.
Another law-enforcement source, not authorized to speak about the case, said state and local officials are working closely with the FBI on the investigation. Internet gossip is a source of concern, he said.
"You'd be surprised what some of these morons write on the Internet . . . that they wouldn't say to somebody's face," the official said in a brief telephone interview. . . .
Read the whole story. Two phone calls and a little research was all it took to get that story. Oh, by the way: Bill Sparkman worked for a decade as a reporter in his native Florida. He deserves some decent journalism, and not baseless rumor-mongering.

UPDATE 1:50 a.m.: Well, folks, it looks like I'm going to be Kentucky-bound to cover this story in person -- another one of those double-dog-dare-ya adventures in shoe-leather reporting.

Thanks to TB in North Carolina, BD in Maryland, AL in Rhode Island, a big thanks to JS in Virginia, and a huge thanks to Nathan in Missouri, the Shoe Leather Reporting Fund quickly collected enough to get me to Kentucky and back.

Additional contributions are welcome, to enable me to extend this trip. Just got off the phone with the lady at the desk of a hotel near I-75, about 20 miles from Manchester, Ky. A single room is about $95 per night, tax included. If you figure 2 packs of smokes/day at $5 each, five cups coffee/day at $2 each, continental breakfast comes with the room, so two meals/day at $5 each -- the basic daily expenses come to $125. Of course, I've got regular bills to pay, but I'll worry about that later.

Just think about Andrew Sullivan sitting there in Pathum, Thailand -- I'm not kidding -- lecturing Michelle Malkin (!) on conservatism:
By the way, there is nothing conservative about Southern populism.
OK, Sully, enjoy your Thai holiday, while I get my 2004 KIA ready for a 500-mile road trip to Clay County, Kentucky (Monday's forecast for Manchester, Ky.: High 70F, low 47F, cloudy, 20% chance of rain) and let me show you how it's done. You just go on back to speculating about Sarah Palin's uterus and leave Kentucky to me.

C'mon, dear brothers, can I get an "amen"?

CORRECTION: I don't think Sully's actually in Thailand. His "View From Your Window" feature seems to be about readers e-mailing him photos of the view from thir windows, rather than his own global photographic travelogue.

My mistake and I'm happy to correct it. Harvard-educated, obstretric-obsessive, AIDS-infected, dope-smoking British immigrants don't have a monopoly on jumping to incorrect conclusions, you know.

BTW, some people have a crazy hunch this Kentucky thing might involve teenagers and the horrorcore rap scene. Maybe they're wrong about that, too . . .

'Southern populist terrorism'
UPDATED: Send me to Kentucky?


ORIGINAL 6:50 p.m.: A Harvard diploma qualifies Andrew Sullivan to conduct investigative journalism in Kentucky from his beach home in Provincetown, Mass., or perhaps from his pied-a-terre in D.C.:
If this was a revenge murder for stumbling upon a meth lab or pot plantation, it’s hard to understand why such a big deal would be made out of his census identification card. It’s possible, I suppose, that anger at the feds in general could make a drug dealer murder a census worker. But the most worrying possibility – that this is Southern populist terrorism, whipped up by the GOP and its Fox and talk radio cohorts – remains real.
Via Alberto Hurtado at Southern Appeal, and thanks to the anonymous tipster. I will refrain from comment at this time, as Alabama is busy whuppin' the ever-lovin' hawgs#*t out of Arkansas. Roll, Tide, Roll!

UPDATE 7:55 p.m.: Alabama 35, Arkansas 7, with Crimson Tide QB McElroy completing 17/24 for 291 yds and 3 TDs, including a shwwwweet razzle-dazzle to Julio Jones. Alabama's win in its SEC opener at Tuscaloosa was the 10th consecutive home-field victory for the Tide, now 4-0 and ranked No. 3 nationally.

That's what's called reporting, as opposed to the prejudiced Ivy League elitist speculations of Andrew Sullivan. The following is also reporting, datelined from Big Creek, Ky.:
It was a bizarre and gruesome discovery in a remote section of eastern Kentucky: Bill Sparkman, a 51-year-old teacher and part-time worker for the United States Census, was found two weeks ago hanging from a tree with the word "Fed" scrawled on his chest in felt tip pen.
A man who said he was among those who found the body told tells the Associated Press that Sparkman was naked, bound at the hands and feet with duct tape and gagged - details that have not yet been confirmed by authorities.
Jerry Weaver of Ohio told the Associated Press he was visiting a cemetery in rural Kentucky with family members on Sept. 12 when he, his wife and daughter saw the body.
"The only thing he had on was a pair of socks," Weaver said. "And they had duct-taped his hands, his wrists. He had duct tape over his eyes, and they gagged him with a red rag or something.
"He was murdered," Weaver said. "There's no doubt."
Weaver said the body was about 50 yards from a 2003 Chevrolet S-10 pickup truck.

OK, this is evidently murder in Kentucky, not suicide. Motive unknown. Big Creek, Ky., is a 500-mile drive from here. I could easily drive it in eight hours. I had plans to attend an event Sunday in Virginia, and had expected to go to D.C. this coming week to follow up on the latest IG-Gate developments.

However, if my readers would prefer me to teach Andrew Sullivan a lesson in journalism, feel free to hit the tip jar. Figure 1,200 miles travel round-trip, at 25 cents per mile, that's $300. Five meals at $5/each, that's another $25. A carton of smokes, $50; ten cups of coffee, $20. If you add $125/night for a hotel room, I could make it a two-day trip for $500.

C'mon, readers, you want me to put some shoe leather on this story, or what? If this is really "Southern populist terrorism," who better than me to get the scoop? So if the tip jar contributions between now and Sunday evening reach $300, I'll take it for granted that the rest will come through while I'm on the road. I could be filing reports with a Kentucky dateline by Monday noon.

UPDATE 10:03 P.M: Just wanted to apologize to co-blogger Smitty. In bumping for the update, not realizing what time he had scheduled his own next post, I accidentally jumped right on top of his report (with photos) from today's Green Tea Party in D.C.

What infuriates me about Andrew Sullivan, if I may elaborate, is his arrogant laziness, an insult to hard-working people who actually do reporting (or half-way decent blogging, for that matter).

Do you suppose that Sully might do a Google search, find the phone number of the appropriate law enforcement authorities in Kentucky, and make a freaking phone call? Well, if you suppose such a thing, you suppose too much.

"Hi, this is Andrew Sullivan of The Atlantic Monthly," is a phrase that no law enforcement officer in Kentucky will ever hear, because Sully's too damned important to be bothered with doing any actual reporting. So much more easy to sit in front of your laptop and tell us What It Means, as if you're the only person who can pull a theory out of thin air.

Sigh. Here, I'll let William Jacobson take over a while:

Think Progress, which never met a fact it couldn't twist, blames Michelle Bachmann's expressions of concerns over the intrusive nature of the Census for the death. Steve Benen at Washington Monthly spreads the blame around to Bachmann, Glenn Beck and Neil Boortz. While acknowledging that there is no real proof of anything, Benen ends with the transparently false hope "that their reckless and irresponsible rhetoric did not have deadly consequences."

Sparkman is dead, evidently murdered. This we know. What we don't know, we don't know, and until we do know, how about everybody grab a fresh hot cup of STFU?

If it turns out that Sparkman was lynched by the Clay County Glenn Beck Palinista Wing Nut Militia, OK. If it turns out he was murdered by dope growers or 'shiners, OK. If it turns out he was murdered for perverse motives by some toothless inbred banjo-picker who thought Sparkman bore a fetching resemblance to Ned Beatty, OK.

But if you're not going to do any reporting, Andrew, your baseless speculation about the Sparkman murder is as far from actual journalism as your idiotic obstetric theorizing about Trig Palin.

BTW, No. 5 Penn State 10, Iowa 5, with 13:24 left in the third quarter. That's a fact.

UPDATE 10:14 p.m.: (Smitty)
Whip me, flog me, deliver the abuse I crave.

UPDATE 12:01 p.m. RSM: Two phone calls, about an hour's worth of research and writing -- being an honest-to-God reporter isn't exactly rocket science, if you aren't hindered by an Ivy League education and elitist snobbery.

Green Tea Party Protest

by Smitty

The Green Tea Party protest today in Lafayette Park by the White House was a triumph of quality over quantity. Attendance may have hit 50.

Overall, the organization of the event was superb, the speakers engaging, and everything but the weather was fine. The invocation of the name "Al Gore" brought a drizzle by about the fourth or fifth speaker.

Radical Dad and I at our first protest together. Male bonding at its all-time best. Dad laughs at some Lyndon Larouche 'literature'.

TARP watchdog Neil Barofsky warns of 'far more dangerous' economic problems

As soon as I learned that Timothy Geithner's Treasury Department was obstructing the investigations of Neil Barofsky -- the special inspector general for the TARP financial bailout -- I predicted that "SIGTARP" was a watchdog who could take a bite out of the Obama administration. Now there's this:

(Via Rick Moran at American Thinker.)

Nanny State vs. Actual Nannies

Michigan cracks down on black-market babysitting:
MIDDLEVILLE, Mich. (WZZM) - A West Michigan woman says the state is threatening her with fines and possibly jail time for babysitting her neighbors' children.
Lisa Snyder of Middleville says her neighborhood school bus stop is right in front of her home. It arrives after her neighbors need to be at work, so she watches three of their children for 15-40 minutes until the bus comes.
The Department of Human Services received a complaint that Snyder was operating an illegal child care home. DHS contacted Snyder and told her to get licensed, stop watching her neighbors' kids, or face the consequences.
"It's ridiculous." says Snyder. "We are friends helping friends!" She added that she accepts no money for babysitting.
Mindy Rose, who leaves her 5-year-old with Snyder, agrees. "She's a friend... I trust her."
State Representative Brian Calley is drafting legislation that would exempt people who agree to care for non-dependent children from daycare rules as long as they're not engaged in a business.
"We have babysitting police running around this state violating people, threatening to put them in jail or fine them $1,000 for helping their neighbor (that) is truly outrageous" says Rep. Calley.
Big Brother is watching your babysitter! The Imperial state will tolerate no rivals to its operation.

Via Memeorandum. More at Stop the ACLU.

Ask Dr. Stacy

As the author of Know Your Vajayjay: An Expert Guide to What's Up Down There and founder of the McCain Institute for Advanced Vaginology, Dr. R.S. McCain, M.D., OB-GYN, IYKWIMAITYD, is often asked by esteemed colleagues to share his expertise in all matters vaginological for the benefit of those coping with nookie-related issues.

While most of these consultations are handled privately, it is occasionally helpful to share with the general public certain case studies submitted as comments, to wit:
Dr. Stacy:
A friend of mine has a question...
My wife and I were not having sex before I began to blog; since I've been blogging, we're not having sex more. Is this a bad thing? Should I be concerned? Should I worry that she's started saying our 85 year old neighbor is 'kinda cute'?
-- Dr. Bob Belvedere, M.D., TCOTS
While this may appear to the untrained eye to be just another case of Lackanookie Syndrome -- the raging pandemic continues unabated, as researches frantically seek some means of controlling an illness that self-evidently cannot be cured -- Dr. Belvedere's friend is most likely suffering from a disease which has similar symptoms, but a different cause.

Analeptic Nookie Neglect is largely psychosomatic, one of the various maladies categorized as Blogger Mood Disorder by our eminent colleague Professor William Jacobson, the Blogospheric Neologian.

The addictive qualities of blogging provide such powerful neurostimulatory effects that, by compulsively seeking the orgasmic thrill of an Instalanche, the patient's limbic system response becomes so oriented toward online stimuli that not even the most overt signal of the availability of the world's finest nookie -- e.g., the blogger's wife bringing him, at 9 p.m. on a rainy Friday evening, a chocolate milk shake from Dairy Queen -- can lure him away from his keyboard duties.

Most symptoms of Analeptic Nookie Neglect occur as frequent repetition of certain telltale phrases:

  • "Not now, Meine Frau, I've got to finish the FMJRA and the clone-bots aren't cooperating."
  • "I'll be up in a minute, I swear. Just let me finish making fun of Charles Johnson."
  • "Would you stop bugging me, for crying out loud? I'm trying to put a trackback on this Hot Air post, and Simpletracks keeps giving me that ****ing Unknown Error Occurred message."
  • "Wow, yeah. That white silk bustier and thong ensemble is nice, dear. Check out this new Charles Johnson 'Downfall' video . . ."
In the case of Dr. Belvedere's friend, as with 95% of patients treated for Analeptic Nookie Neglect at the McCain Institute, there is little danger that his wife will actually begin an affair with the neighbor. In fact, ANN usually has a positive correlation with marital fidelity, as bloggers and their wives are the only category of human pair-bonds whose mastubatory fantasies are exclusively focused on their spouses.

Just ask Dr. Helen.

So the real question for Dr. Belevedere's friend is whether he actually wants treatment for his problem. Unless his wife begins showing symptoms of Delaneymania -- wearing low-cut dresses to blogger parties in hopes of stimulating linkage to her husband's site by his concupiscent peers -- there is no particular reason to seek treatment. No matter what my daughter's boyfriend tries to tell her, the fact remains that no man has ever died from a lack of nookie, although specialists believe that onanistic side effects are a major cause of acute neurasthenia, myopia and male pattern baldness (a clustering of symptoms caused by the brooksianius gergenia virus, leading to the disease that world-renowned vaginologist Dr. Moe Lane has identified as Gerson-Wehner Complex).

So, Dr. Belvedere, the prescribed treatment is simple: Your friend can cure his ANN any time he wants, merely by deciding to step away from the computer, shave, shower, brush his teeth and put on some of that Geoffrey Beene Gray Flannel eau de cologne his wife buys him every year for Christmas. Remember our motto at the Institute:
Good Nookie Is a Terrible Thing to Waste!
Your esteemed colleague,
Dr. Robert Stacy McCain, M.D.
Director of Research and author of Know Your Vajayjay: An Expert Guide to What's Up Down There

TOTALLY UNNECESSARY DISCLAIMER: This case study has been offered as a public service by the McCain Institute for Advanced Vaginology, but cannot be considered as professional therapeutic advice. Standards of the International Vaginological Society prohibit such practices, except in such cases where a licensed clinician can provide direct examination of the patient's nookie. Your generous contributions to support the Institute's advanced research in vaginology are neither tax-deductible nor charitable, and may be used as the Institute and its creditors see fit.

Planned Parenthood: 'Hey, your daughter's a tramp, so make sure she's a safe tramp!'

Well, they don't put it quite so bluntly:
If you could give your teenage daughter a vaccination that would prevent her from contracting a sexually transmitted disease that could lead to cancer, would you do it? . . .
While many parents don't want to think about their young daughters becoming sexually active, most will eventually.
"Sexually active" = screwing around, putting out, humping, fornicating, doing everything in sight like Meghan McCain after her fourth margarita.

Do we really need mandatory, universal, taxpayer-funded vaccination for human papillomavirus to keep your daughter safe from cancer-causing HPV? Judie Brown of American Life League has her doubts:
Planned Parenthood also wants you to know that the vaccine has come under attack by -- you guessed it -- those damnable "conservatives who contend it encourages promiscuity."
But your friends at Planned Parenthood want to assure you of one thing: "Obviously, we're not giving the shot to a 16-year-old and telling them to go out and have sex. It’s not even about becoming sexually active now. You are really vaccinating them against their future.”
Isn't that special? No, not really. . . .
I have to ask, how many teenagers have died from chastity? How many have been institutionalized for drug abuse because they saved themselves until marriage? How many have had to go into therapy because their self-esteem was high and their desire for promiscuous activity low?
Planned Parenthood is not only barking up the wrong tree, it and its fellow sex advocates are destroying souls, debilitating perfectly healthy young people, killing preborn babies and making a literal killing. Take a look at their profit margin sometime!
The ideology of death is viral. We must strive to correct this course by infusing the antidote of moral principle into the public discourse at every opportunity.
That's from the American Life League, an excellent source for news on these sorts of issues.

UPDATE: Unlike one of the commenters below, Doug at Daley Gator can take a (blonde) joke: "Hmmm, I wonder if Meghan McCain knows that I do make the best maragritas evah?"

Fantastic Multimedia Jamboree Resurrects Art

by Smitty

This week's FMJRA salutes the mighty Iowahawk. It's not often we admit that anyone's flair for insanity exceeds our own, but "A man's got to know his limitations."

This blog's entry into the fray, entitled "Subliminal Presidential Logic" puts us on the contest map. It spelunks within the underbelly of the substantial sub-terranian sub-text of the latest US rhetorical embarrassment, delivered at the UN by BHO, and appears at the end of this post, in an effort to minimize browser damage.

Green Tea Wolverines
  • Bonzai linked the GTP post, and will hopefully attend. I'm dragging my parents. Woo hoo!
  • Fishersville Mike echoed the announcement. Hopefully he makes it.
Feeding Frenzies
This blog never goes Rule 4 without didactic purpose. One of Stacy McCain's unconscious skills is that of teaching. Even when a 49% flagrant goof-off, he's still 51% making a valuable point.
Feeback on Can't all conservatives at least agree that Glenn Beck is not the enemy?
  • Bits Blog quotes and analyzes Stacy's work.
  • NoisyRoom picks it up.
  • Carol's Closet: "This little dust up between Beck and Levin is simply par for the course. Neither of the two men are known for their meekness so it stands to reason that any disagreement would be articulated strongly."
  • Lead and Gold: "I don't like Beck. I actually blogged about how much i disliked him over four years ago. But i DVR his program everyday now. Not because i am a 100% fan but because he has been "breaking" news or at least pushing important matters out to a wider audience." I'm personally non-plussed by his style, but thankful for his substance.
  • Below the Beltway gathers a chorus of 'no' answers.
  • The Lonely Conservative "The Other McCain covered it so well I can’t really add to it. With the exception of so called conservatives who endorsed Barack Obama, and primaries, I try to shy away from dissing our side."
  • Poliblogger quotes Rick Moran, whose myopia is on clear display in that statement.
  • Instpundit quoted Stacy.
  • Texas for Sarah Palin linked and analyzed the situation.
  • Ruby Slippers: "That Beck said something controversial should shock no one. Disagree with him on that point if you must. Beck, however, is not the one with his foot on the pedal with the car teetering on the verge of the Big Government abyss."
  • The Classic Liberal rounds things up nicely.
  • One Fine Jay discusses polemics and apologists.
  • Dana Loesch at "Thankfully, fellow conservative bloggers like RS McCain, Little Miss Attila and others recognized early on and by way of SEO made sure that their mentions of search terms involving Giles and bikinis brought searchers to their blogs, effectively lampooning those of ill will."
  • Belvedere is very insightful on this topic.
  • Fishersville Mike figures Beck is in hot standby.
The Proposition That "X is not a racist person" is not Falsifiable
At least, not on this mortal plane.
  • Kn@ppster, nevertheless, flogs a dead horse.
  • Ordinary Gentlemen hedges on the subject.
  • Moralia denounces pretty much everyone in a raaaaacism roundup.
  • The Daily Gator hat tipped us for "Obama Loves the Little Children"
  • Rightofcourse also linked the raaaaacism post on the Obama school hymn.
  • Saberpoint continues its staunch, truthful, and correct support of this blog.
Charles Johnson and the Powdered Pferd Herd
Speaking of flogging a dead horse...
Emotional Rescue
  • HotMES re-ice-capped the glacial state of Lefty female hotness, linking us when things got emotional.
  • Little Miss Attila suggests Stacy should go bison hunting.

Can't Think of ACORNy Joke
  • Honesty in Motion hat tipped us while embedding a Rush Limbaugh clip on the topic.
  • Snapped Shot mentions the IRS punting of ACORN, and the scourge of raaaaacism along with it.
  • Snapped Shot quotes us as saying "Pfffffffft!"
Keep Us On The Road
'AT&T' Rhymes With 'Suppository'
I like my new, un-cheap paperweight, but I would have preferred (a) service (b) a cel phone. It was pointed out to me at the AT&T store that I had in fact bought the hardware from a re-seller, not a corporate AT&T outfit. My diaper is still full, but one must be fair.
  • Dustbury offered some commiseration. "Vendors, if pressed on the matter, will argue that it’s those crappy policies that keep them in business." Pressed, crushed: what's in a verb?
  • Dyspepsia Generation "Two tin cans and a string give better service than AT&T, and cost far less."
Piling on Beautifully
Million Med March
Senseless Violence
Other FMJRA Outings
Miscellaneous Shouts
The FMJRA is compiled by an army of marginally competent clone bots. If you've linked us and would like to claim your lovin', send the URL to Smitty.

Adrienne's Catholic Corner not only blames RSM for the complete destruction of her schedule (his book Donkey Cons seems the chief instrument), but insists that FMJRA note an unnoticed, yet shamefully obedient devotee of Rule #1.
That would be Mark in Spokane, who picked us up on last Wednesday and Friday. Mark noted Stacy's ongoing Rule 4 altercation with LGF, and a short roundup of blogs on the right. We need to get more Technorati participation, or direct emailing of links to me for inclusion.

Update II:
Graciously quoted by one of the senior members of the blogosphere, Daily Pundit.

"Subliminal Presidential Logic"

This piece takes a quotation from the latest Presidential train wreck and applies Eccl 7:13 Consider the work of God: for who can make that straight, which he hath made crooked? as best as possible to the underlying logic. A surprising message pours forth for the attentive.
nation myis
and responsibility
and tHoseinterests.
I defendingBut
Willfor it
never Apologizeis
thAtintheyear 2009--

Safe sex not so safe after all

Ah, you can't fool Mother Nature!
The oral contraceptives Yaz and Yasmin are the top-selling pharmaceutical line for Bayer HealthCare, largely as a result of marketing that presents them as much more than mere pregnancy prevention.
Yaz, in particular, the top-selling birth control pill in the United States, owes much of its popularity to multimillion-dollar ad campaigns that have promoted the drug as a quality-of-life treatment to combat acne and severe premenstrual depression. . . .
But recently, the Yaz line’s image has been clouded by concerns from some researchers, health advocates and plaintiffs’ lawyers. They say that the drugs put women at higher risk for blood clots, strokes and other health problems than some other birth control pills do. . . .
(Hmmm. Pro-choice fanatics vs. the tort bar. Kind of like Freddy vs. Jason there.)
Bayer said that the company had been served with 74 lawsuits brought by women who charge that they developed health problems after taking Yaz or Yasmin. . . .
Birth control pills work by altering a woman’s hormone levels. Researchers have long known that taking a combination hormone birth control pill -- which contains estrogen and a progestin hormone -- can increase the risk of stroke and blood clots in the legs and lungs. . . .
What good is "choice," if you're dead? The very idea that women would voluntarily dose themselves with synthetic hormones, which have the effect of preventing their bodies from doing what nature meant their bodies to do . . .?

Look, when I was in college, I had a buddy who was into weightlifting. He scored some Dynabol (a popular steroid) and asked me to read through the enclosed warning -- an 11-by-14-inch sheet filled with tiny print on both side -- about the side effects. (He was good at weightlifting. Reading scientific literature? Not so much.)

When I got to the part about testicular atrophy -- hey, that was all I needed to read to know that I was never going to use that stuff. (Whatever happened to my weightlifting buddy? I don't know. But if he kept shooting that Dynabol . . . raisins.)

Putting fake hormones into your body is a bad idea, to be avoided except as a medical necessity. If a woman is bound and determined not to have babies -- well, tell your husband to start a blog, which tends to lower your risk of having sex. (To my wife: That was a joke, honey.)

When the Pill was first introduced, a lot of people didn't think about the potential for long-term side effects. It was Science, after all, and Science is never wrong.

Lots of girls in the Baby Boom generation started on the Pill when they were still teenagers and stayed on it year after year until, finally, they got married and said, "OK, I'm ready to have babies now."

Shockah! Science had figured out a cheap and easy way to turn fertility off, but turning it back on? Not so much.

Lots of 50-something women out there with no kids, thanks to Science. Although they didn't expect it when they started taking the Pill, birth control ended up being permanent for them. Turns out "choice" meant not really having a choice.

And then there those other side effects -- well, we don't know for certain that they were actually side effects, because determining direct causation can be difficult when you're talking long term consequences. It's kind of weird, as you get to be in your 40s, you start hearing about these girls you knew from high school dying from weird cancers, or developing strange, lingering ailments that doctors can't really find a way to treat effectively.

My wife and I have six kids, and maybe you don't want to have that many. Fine. But don't think you can fool Mother Nature forever.

Sometimes, Mother Nature is a bitch.


Learn the truth about environmentalism and the "Green" movement at an event today at LaFayette Park in Washington, D.C.:

They're fighting the Waxman-Markey "green tax":
On the heels of the historic 9/12 Tea Party in Washington, DC, Truth About Green, a Maryland-based non-profit organization, will hold the nation's first Green Tea Party on Saturday, September 26 from 1 to 4 pm in Washington, DC's Lafayette Park. The national event will feature guest speakers on proposed global warming legislation before the U.S. Congress and other environmental issues, as well as entertainment by country music artist John Luskey.
Truth About Green was founded in 2009 by Maryland residents Nancy Sabater and Mary Burke-Russell. "We didn't feel enough was being done to educate everyday, ordinary Americans about the other side of the global warming debate," said Sabater. "The biggest issue next to health care is 'cap-and-tax,' but hardly anyone knows what it is or just what it will mean for the average person. Before we impose all these costly regulations, it's important to have all the facts -- and to have more common sense about what we're doing."
Find out more.

New Jersey man pleased to discover his constitutional right to sex with cows

Better get your brain bleach ready, folks. If you thought McKenzie Phillips doing Papa John -- consensually! -- was the nadir of postmodern American degeneracy, you were wrong. Hat-tip to Dan Collins for finding this guaranteed cookie-hurler for our TMI files:
A New Jersey judge has dismissed animal cruelty charges against a cop accused of committing a sex act with young cows, saying a grand jury had no way of knowing whether the animals were "tormented."
Moorestown police officer Robert Melia, who is currently suspended, allegedly engaged in oral sex acts with five calves in Southampton in 2006.
Since New Jersey currently has no law explicitly banning such an act, prosecutors in Burlington county brought animal cruelty charges against Melia, the Philadelphia Daily News reports.
Judge Morely said it was questionable that Melia's acts, though "disgusting," constituted animal cruelty.
"I'm not saying it's OK," Morely said. "This is a legal question for me. It's not a questions of morals. It's not a question of hygiene. It's not a question of how people should conduct themselves."
But wait! Like a Billy Mays TV informercial, there's more:
The judge's dismissal does not mark the end of Melia's legal woes.
He, along with girlfriend Heather Lewis, was arrested in April 2008 for sexually assaulting three girls over a five-year-period.
Authorities investigating those charges reportedly uncovered videos on his computer of a girl being "subjected to sexual activity" in addition to taped encounters between Melia and the calves.
Sex with kids. Sex with cows. Kiddie porn. Cow porn. Like they say in Delaware, what happens in New Jersey, stays in New Jersey -- and thank God for that. But you're probably asking yourself, "What manner of loathsome creatures could possibly engage in this kind of twisted, decadent evil?"

Somebody tell Don Surber about this . . .

Nigerians watch Fox News? Who knew?

Shamelessly stolen from Yid With Lid:
After some digging it was discovered that Johnson did not learn about the Beck incident from the liberal bloggers or the Christian Science Monitor. He was forced into writing his Frog Killer article because he got this strange EMAIL from Nigeria of all places:

TEL: 234-80-37226647

Dear: Charles Johnson,Diktator
Little Green Footballs

I am Dr.David Bello, Director, Foreign operations dept Central bank of Nigeria my office monitors and controls the affairs of all banks and financial institutions in Nigeria concerned with foreign claim payments and dead Amphibians. am the final signatory to any transfer of huge funds moving within banks both on the local and international levels in line with foreign claim settlement.I also monitor crazy TV Hosts and racist bloggers such as Atlas Shrugs the Lizard Killer, Michelle Malkin (who is not only a racist but also a RAAAAAAAAACIST! ), RS "The Other" McCain , Robert "Jihad Watcher" Spencer, and Yid With Lid. We believe the last one is the worst of all because he believes that life begins when the kids move out of the house and the Mini-Van dies.
I have before my list of funds, which could not be transferred to some nominated accounts as these accounts have been identified either as, unclaimed deposits and over-invoiced sum etc. Your Name was brought up as someone who might fall for any type of scam, who could use the money for some electro-shock therapy, so we can help you get funds transferred to your bank account.
As it is my duty to recommend the transfer of these surplus funds to the Federal Government Treasury and Reserve Accounts as unclaimed deposits, I have the opportunity to write you based on the instructions I received from the Foreign reconciliation dept to submit the List of payment reports/ expenditures and audited reports of revenues.
At this juncture, We wish to inform you that your part payment of US$10.5M has been approved through international certified band draft, payable in our escrow account with our correspondence bank in CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA
You are hereby advice to reconfirm your contacts info and receiving bank details to enable us send an immediate telex message to JP morgan new york for the clearance of your approved fund through our account with the Jp morgan new york to your designated bank account.
This office will forward to you a copy of your certified bank draft as soon as we hear from you with all of your savings account information so it could be confirmed through your local bank. Also to confirm that you are honest about working with us, we need to have you show your loyalty. You must publish on your website something really idiotic, that no one with half a brain would believe. Like Glen Beck boiled a frog alive on TV, something so out there that everybody would know it wasn't true.
reply back to me through my alternative E-mail:
Yid With Lid is having a fund-raising drive. You've gotta hit a man's tip jar for that one.

Does Dana Loesch really want me to post those lovely Hanna Giles bikini pics?

She seems to be hinting around, eh?
Thankfully, fellow conservative bloggers like RS McCain, Little Miss Attila and others recognized early on and by way of SEO made sure that their mentions of search terms involving Giles and bikinis brought searchers to their blogs, effectively lampooning those of ill will.
Please read the whole thing. It's good finally to see some official recognition for the army of bloggers who've helped with the Google-bomb project to protect Hannah from the left-wing smear merchants. I'm told they've already resorted to the kind of disgusting Photoshop tactics they've used against Ann Coulter, IYKWIMAITYD.

We anticipated their attack, and so we're not only foiling their predictable smears, it also means that every time Hannah makes the news again, Google searches bring the luridly curious to conservative sites, boosting our traffic.

And there's something else I should mention. If a freak is hooked on Internet porn to the point that he feels a compulsive need to Google for "Hannah Giles nude" or "Hannah Giles sex video" just because he sees a pretty girl on TV, doesn't he need help?

You never know. There are no accidents, as I like to say, and who knows what could happen if some porn-addicted dude, hunting for that picture, decides to click here? He might read that Hannah Giles is a fine Christian girl whose father is a youth minister.

That porn freak might feel some sense of embarrassment when he realizes how much time he's wasted Googling for "Hannah Giles lingerie." or "Hannah Giles topless." And he might say to himself, "Hey, you know, I hate taxes and deficits and intrusive government control, just like these conservative bloggers."

Perhaps that twisted, perverted soul will see a link that says "How to Get a Million Hits on Your Blog," and he'll read down to Rule 5 ("Everybody Loves a Pretty Girl") and a spark will be kindled in his corrupt heart, and the light of truth will pierce his sin-clouded mind, suggesting the possibility of redemption.

"Maybe there's hope for me," the guy says. He thinks seriously about deleting his porn stash and clearing his bookmarks. "Instead of wasting all this time looking at porn on the Internet, maybe I should do something more productive. I could start a political blog and join the fight to preserve American liberty for future generations."

I'm pretty sure that explains Ace of Spades HQ. NTTAWWT.

Now, just in case anyone thinks I'm stupid, I also anticipated other possibilities. Who knows what's out there? However, had the Left succeeded in their attempt to get sexy photos of Hannah Giles, I'd still have them beat. The photos are real. And they're spectacular. Just a hint:

For two full weeks, I've had a completed post queued up and ready, so that I could publish the whole thing at the touch of a button, and prevent the Left from gaining any advantage even if they did find something.

Hannah's dad is a (very well-armed) friend of mine, and Hannah is the same age as my own daughter, and I don't want Perez Hilton or some other slimeball to get any of that traffic. Hannah Giles deserves to be respected, not smeared.
Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. . . . Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
-- Proverbs 31:10,30 KJV
Hope you'll be kind enough to hit the tip jar. Lots of smart guys on the Web, but insane geniuses are rare.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Jake Tapper is probably not pleased with me

by Smitty


jaketapper: POTUS happy that Russia and China have called for Iran to let IAEA inspectors in - but will they back sanctions???

smitty_one_each: @jaketapper Jake, why send IKEA inspectors to Iran when we already know their furniture is crap?

jaketapper: @smitty_one_each i dont set Iran policy. but what would you propose?

smitty_one_each @jaketapper HAMRA is a good place to start.

American Glob seems to have enjoyed the riff. I don't know whether to feel honored or soiled to come up in the same mental breath as Allahpundit.

Remember, a link is not an endorsement

I sometimes link the New York Times, which has never seen fit to repudiate Walter Duranty, whose Stalinist propaganda amounted to a cover-up for the "terror famine" and the show trials.

I sometimes link Andrew Sullivan, who . . . well, do I really need to specify exactly what kind of demented wackjob Sully has become in the past few years?

So the bloody LGF wars have come to this: I got an e-mail from Paleo Pat demanding linkage. It seems the old boy has finally had it up to here with Charles F---ing Johnson, and composed The Most Purposefully Offensive Blog Post in the History of the Internet.

Don't click that link. Whatever you do, DO NOT click that link. I do not support, condone or endorse the foul language -- including offensive racial terms -- employed by a Georgia good ol' boy when he's been called a "racist" once too often. Paleo Pat describes himself as a "fellow brother in Jesus Christ," so I reckon he figures the Good Lord can forgive him, but I expect a few other folks would be kinda judgmental, you might say.

Therefore, please, I beg you, don't click that link.

Once the name-calling starts, you never know where it's going to end. This is what I've tried to explain to people who like to throw around casual accusations of raaaaacism. If the word loses its meaning from overuse, if people figure out that, merely because they vote Republican, they're going to be called "racist" no matter what they say or do . . . well, all bets are off, see?

So while I understand the blind fury of Paleo Pat's outraged indignation, I again remind you that a link is not an endorsement. Whatever you do, don't click that link. You have been warned.

Obama Loves the Little Children

Nothing idolatrous here, right?

Mm, mmm, mm!
Barack Hussein Obama

He said that all must lend a hand
To make this country strong again
Mmm, mmm, mm!
Barack Hussein Obama

He said we must be fair today
Equal work means equal pay
Mmm, mmm, mm!
Barack Hussein Obama

He said that we must take a stand
To make sure everyone gets a chance
Mmm, mmm, mm!
Barack Hussein Obama

He said red, yellow, black or white
All are equal in his sight
Mmm, mmm, mm!
Barack Hussein Obama

Mmm, mmm, mm
Barack Hussein Obama

-- Charisse Carney-Nunes
Idolatrous neo-Stalinism coming soon to a school near you! Totally swiped from Darleen Click at Protein Wisdom.

VIDEO: LOL at LGF! 'Some sort of desperate low-life smear merchant'

Thanks to Pamela Geller for the funniest "Downfall" YouTube evah!

New contributor Angel has more, and click here for the Complete Mad King Charles Beatdown, which will be updated repeatedly as the sad saga continues in the bunker beneath the LGF Reich Chancellery.

The Mad King Charles Beatdown Fund -- please give generously. It's for the children!

UPDATE: Welcome fellow AOSHQ Morons! I don't mind the "totally swiped" by Nice Deb. Hell's bells, I totally swiped my whole shtick from Ace. Nice Deb also supplies video of LGF henchperson Killgore Trout's reaction to the latest beatdown:

Right Wing News did a survey of the right bloggers' "Least Favorite People." Talk about your "links and ties," Charles Johnson tied Pat Buchanan and Susan Collins for sixth -- demand a recount!

But before you do that, please remember to give generously to the The Mad King Charles Beatdown Fund. It's for the children!

UPDATE II: Scratch that. Forget my kids. Go check out the Nigerian e-mail to Charles Johnson that started this whole thing. And hit Sammy's tip jar -- it's a mitzvah!

Michelle Malkin misspells RAAAAACIST!

You see why The Boss asked me to read over her manuscript of the Best. Book. Evah! Otherwise little typos like failing to spell raaaaaacist correctly -- remember, Michelle, it's five A's -- could undermine her credibility.

Make no mistake, the accusation of raaaaacism is intended to undermine Michelle's credibility. Michelle did a post about schoolchildren being brainwashed to sing rap praises of Dear Leader, and a San Francisco Chronicle blogger reacts by linking an utterly unrelated "Jesus Camp" video and saying:
Now I'd bet Michelle would say, "Aww, that's so cute!" Why? Because the kids are white and its George Bush? Yeah, right. And so there's the racial problem -- she can ignore singing if its done by white school kids praising a white Republican President, but if the subject's America's first black President, she gets really mad.
No, @$$hole, what gets Michelle and a lot of other people mad is that the allegedly superior minds in the MSM are so blind to their own biases. The media's worshipful attitude toward Obama -- as Jesse Jackson might say, "If the president's black, you can't attack" -- is a perfect example of a phenomenon that a conservative friend pointed out to me years ago.

Most Americans get along just fine and dandy with people of other races in their everyday real lives. What makes them angry is the way the media portray race relations. The endless reiteration of preachy liberal messages send a clear signal from the MSM elite: "You're so stupid, we must remind you constantly that prejudice is a bad thing."

This elitist condescension is insulting, but if you complain about it, that only proves what a bigot you are. It's a Catch-22, see? So if Michelle Malkin has the courage to speak out -- her latest column is about the New Jersey school indoctrination -- this makes her the target of vicious attacks. Not only is she not going along with the progressive agenda, but she relentlessly exposes the manipulations of the MSM propaganda.

Are complaints about MSM bias all about politics? Republicans just "working the refs"? No. Because so much of what people know (or think they know) about the world comes via media, the lopsided liberal bias has the effect of cluttering people's minds with false impressions.
  • Don't worry about radical Islam, the MSM say, the real danger is those "anti-government" Tea Party rallies.
  • Don't worry about the exploding federal deficit, the MSM say, the real danger is those racists who didn't vote for Obama.
  • Don't worry about the mistakes in our bogus reporting, the MSM say, the real danger is Glenn Beck.
The media distort real life like a funhouse mirror, and if all you know about the world is what you get from the media, you might actually believe that Glenn Beck is a frog killer and the 9/12 March On D.C. was all about raaaaaacism.

Michelle Malkin is a "white supremacist"? Make. Me. Laugh.

UPDATE: Thanks to the anonymous commenter for this screencap of LGF's Charles Johnson attacking Michelle Malkin this week with a Huffington Post "white supremacist" smear:

The sick part of it is that the slimeball has more or less confessed that his leftward turn is all about the money. And now the downfall of Mad King Charles continues with a ROTLMAO video.

Andrew Klavan: RAAAAACIST!

"Boys, Andrew Klavan out-celebritied me and I ain't never gonna be out-celebritied again!"

(He's right that liberalism contributes to the degeneracy of celebrities. Can you say McKenzie Phillips?)

And remember: There are five A's in raaaaacism.

Update: (Smitty)
We are now embedded with raaaaacists.

When you need Bill Ayers to ghost-write your first book for you . . .

. . . excuse us for not joining the adoring throng of elite journalists like David Brooks, who suppose that your well-creased pants suffice to qualify you as an eminent political philosopher.

Just sayin' . . .

Major credit to Jack Cashill of American Thinker, who did the vetting that the MSM doesn't do any more. And I just want to remind everyone that I am the founder of Authors Against Obama, organized in May 2008 as a protest by working writers against the sweetheart deal Obama got for his first book.

Even without the ghosting by Ayers, Obama's book deal was bizarre. He initially signed a contract to do a study about American race relations, evidently didn't have the journalistic or research skills to complete that project, and instead decided to turn in a memoir.

A memoir! Just a few years out of law school, and he gets to write a memoir? Memoirs are supposed to be written by people who've actually accomplished something remarkable in life, and graduating law school is a fairly ordinary feat, achieved by thousands of 25-year-olds every year.

Commissioning memoirs by 20-somethings ought to be against the law, with few exceptions. It's an invitation to self-indulgence to permit a person that young to write about himself. You want a book deal before you turn age 30? OK, then either lead the league in RBIs or win the Medal of Honor.

Now we have testimony -- from the First Lady herself, no less -- that President Messiah's memoir was a ghost job? Graduated from Harvard Law, but can't even write his own book?

Ah, but such creases on his pants!

LGF: "Glen Beck: Frog Killer"

By Angel
Just what is going on here?

This, ladies and gentlemen, illustrates the extremity and delirium tangents LGF has decided to run off with. What's happening at Little Green Footballs? Is there not enough newsworthy material for Charles Johnson to cover than absurdities such as this manifest themselves at LGF?

Entertaining fools, indeed.

(Note from RSM: This is the first post by a new TOM contributor who picked her own sig "Locane," but whom I-- in my capacity as pledge committee chairman of this online chapter of Delta Tau Chi -- have decided to call "Angel." Because I said so!)

Is it true what they say about
Robert Stacy McCain?

A few months ago, I had occasion to quote Rhett Butler's advice to Scarlett O'Hara: "With enough courage, you can do without a reputation."

While I would never advise anyone to solicit infamy, much mischief in American life results from a tendency to cringe in fear at the possibility that someone might think ill of us. Ambitious young people often seek a good reputation far more diligently than they strive to do good. And too often, ambition leads people into the backstabber's game of undercutting a perceived rival through whispered innuendo.

Nearing my 50th birthday and the 12th anniversary of my 1997 arrival in Washington, I can rightly claim a certain expertise in these matters, with plenty of knife scars in my back from the slanders of erstwhile "friends" who made me a scapegoat for their own failures and frustrated ambitions. And it gives me no solace to know that, at times, I was merely collateral damage in the backstabbers' attacks on bigger targets.

Reflecting on all that, in light of the recent two-week campaign to defend myself against Mad King Charles, I smiled to think of how my survival must mystify and enrage those who failed so utterly in their twin aims, having neither (a) destroyed me, nor (b) profited by attacking me.

There was an inquiry made online Thursday regarding certain accusations against me. With no reason to suspect the questioner of malice, it occurred to me that a courteous e-mail reply would best do the job:

Dear -------:
Your inquiry on the Internet discussion is appreciated. While I regret that I am unable to answer your question at this time, please be assured that my unwillingness to discuss the topic is meant as no disrespect toward you, nor an admission (or denial) of anything.
At the heart of this entire brouhaha is an article I wrote in 2000, based on an interview with Laird Wilcox, author of a book called The Watchdogs. Mr. Wilcox, a Kansas scholar recognized as an expert in extremist movements, accused verious left-wing organizations, including the Southern Poverty Law Center, of a hype-the-hate scheme, exaggerating the numbers and dangers of neo-Nazi and other violent racist groups for fund-raising purposes.
From that moment began a series of attacks on me to which, under orders of my employers, I was not permitted to respond in my own defense: (As a response would tend to lend publicity to the attacker.) It was not until after I left the employment of the Washington Times in January 2008 that I was permitted to speak freely.
However, by that time, the legend of "Stacy McCain, white supremacist" had taken on a life of its own online. And what reason did I have to deny (or confirm or explain) anything? If worse came to worse, I could always go back to driving a forklift, which I was doing before I got my first full-time newspaper job in 1986.
Many lessons were learned from my experience with being smeared, lessons that have since been quite useful in my career as a blogger and freelance journalist. And if the whole story of that experience were told, it would certainly fill a very interesting book. Yet I am a professional writer, and have resolved to tell only so much as I please until someone is willing to pay for the whole thing. I'll expect a handsome price. It's my life, this is a free country, and I cannot be compelled to say anything I don't want to say.
What often puzzles my left-wing adversaries is this: Despite all of these false smears on my good name, yet I continue to succeed as a journalist. This has at times caused people to accuse those who employ me of being complicit in some hateful doctrine -- call it "racism" or whatever -- that I am sure I've never advocated, endorsed or supported. The reason I continue to be employed however, is for my knowledge and skill as a researcher, writer, reporter and editor, and not for any mere opinion on any particular subject.
Something else, sir: PEOPLE KNOW ME. If I were a Klan/Nazi type, surely this would have come to someone's attention by now. What has happened, rather, is a this-that-and-the-other sort of recycling of the same familiar accusations, like the one you asked me about. Because people who know me understand that I am not a racial "supremacist" or "separatist" -- I have no theory or doctrine and am certainly no more "racist" than you are -- they do not allow themselves to be fooled or frightened into thinking that I live a secret double-life: Mild-mannered Clark Kent who ducks into a phone booth and emerges with the incredible superpowers of AryanMan!
Having survived the worst that the Left can throw at me, at whatever damage to my good name and fortune, I discovered to my surprise the tremendous value of a bad and somewhat mysterious reputation. "Is it true what they say about Stacy McCain? Is he really hung like an Kentucky thoroughbred with titanium testicles the size of tennis balls?" Well, this is another one of those questions that I do not consider myself obligated to address. Let them wonder.
However, as a Christian who knows himself to be nothing but a wretched sinner who shall some day be called to account, I assure you that I hate no one, not even Charles Johnson or any of the others who have sought to destroy me and dishonor my family. Wishing that everyone in the world were my friend (and I've got more than 1,600 Facebook friends), I am sure that those who choose to treat me as an enemy would not do so, except that they are subject to the same human faults as I.
Not least of my sins has been a tendency toward arrogance and a confidence in my own abilities. Yet when I was powerless to help myself, and in tears prayed that God would send his angels to aid me, He was merciful and gracious. Since then, blessings and honors have been heaped upon me unbidden, and I know that God who has brought me so far will not abandon me now.
Therefore, -----, the kindness and courtesy of your inquiry is sincerely appreciated, and I assure you that it is ever my desire to remain
Your most humble and obedient servant,
Robert Stacy McCain
Co-author (with Lynn Vincent) of
DONKEY CONS: Sex, Crime & Corruption in the Democratic Party
This has been a rough two weeks. However, Da Tech Guy's latest round-by-round is instructive and amusing:
Nice defense but trying to butter up the judge by quoting the pope gotta watch out for that.
No, no -- not buttering up the judge. Rather, I was trying to bait Medaura into denouncing me as part of a clerico-fascist theocratic cabal. At any rate, Da Tech Guy notices that Victor Davis Hanson (who defended Mad King Charles) has been swarmed by the Irony Police, whose testimony deserves to be quotet extensively:
Two years ago for example Rush Limbaugh was “Rush Limbaugh honorary lizzardoid” Now Charles links to media matters to attack him as a racist for the same type of stuff he has done for decades.
-- Da Tech Guy

Well the first time ever, I completely disagree with VDH. Charles Johnson and LGF have flipped out. Johnson would make a Spanish Inquisitor proud with his prejudice, zeal, and myopia.
-- RE

He plays the guilt-by-association game better than Joe McCarthy ever did. He has labeled (if not libeled) people as “racist” and/or “white supremacist” for no reason other than their attendance at meetings at which some previously-labeled person also attended. He demands that others shun the tainted people, and when they do not, he shuns them for not shunning. Thus, the number of shunned people continues to grow, as others refuse to join in the shunning.
-- The Monster

Johnson is NOT the center of American political life, and despite his yeoman work in yesteryear, has done untold damage to the cause by trying to tarnish everyone from Malkin to Limbaugh as nothing more than a rank and ranting racist.
-- Dan

I am a longtime "lizard" who eventually couldn’t take it anymore. . . . What put me off was style rather than substance, even where I agree with him. . . . Obsessive intervention in debate threads. Mass banning of longtime lizards . . . Veteran lizards walking on eggshells for fear of the banning stick. . . . Opinionated insistence on "fact's from extremely dubious sources or just plain wrong.Tiresome overuse of "racist," "homophobe," etc. slurs, to the point where they will go ignored even when there may actually be something to them. Insulting opponents with terms like "teabagger," "warming denier" . . .
-- Too Much Is Too Much
You see from this testimony of ex-LGF fans that, for many months before Mad King Charles lashed out at me -- smearing me at the very time I was in Washington covering the 9/12 March On DC -- Johnson's intolerant paranoid control-freak act was turning the site into a seething cauldron of fear. As Ace said, "It's like North Korea over there."

No cauldrons here. No fear. No hate. Nothing to hide. However, if you feel the need to hit the tip jar, don't fight the feeling.

Remember: There are five A's in raaaaacism.