As if it were a parody of something

Hmmm, arrogant passive-aggressive dweeb who has wasted too much of his life on nothing:

I consider you a friend, Douglas. Together, we have shared many adventures, from waiting in line for the Star Wars: Episode I premiere to meeting Mark "Dukat" Alaimo at ComiCon 2001. Your friendship is as valuable to me as my Michael York-autographed DVD of Logan's Run.
But when it comes to reasoned, thoughtful, and informed discussions on the Green Lantern continuum and its place within the larger DC universe, I hold friends to the same high standard I would strangers or anyone else.
So long as you insist on clinging to your, quite frankly, bizarre opinions on the Emerald Knight's 60-plus-year history, it is not worth my time to engage you in purposeless noisemaking . . .

Yeah, it's from The Onion. Certainly not EffingCons.