Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Suzanna, Insty, Obama and Monique . . .

.. . are killing me today. Having blogged all night to respond to Cynthia Yockey, then stunned at developments among the Newbie Duo, I managed to get to sleep sometime around 10 a.m. this morning.

At 11:30 a.m., the phone rings: "Uh, Mr. McCain . . . Well, sorry to wake you, but I was checking my SiteMeter, and there was about 50 hits. But then when I checked back, there were like 1,200 . . ."

Bolt upright: "The Lanche!"

"What? Anyway, when I checked, I found out that Instapundit guy, you know the one you told me to put on my blogroll, well, he linked me and now it's going crazy and I don't know what to do."

A blog consultant has to be on call 24/7, and now my client was in crisis mode. Try to remain calm. "OK, Logan, what did he link? The Jello wrestling or the Big Sexy?"

She sighs in exasperation. "That's just it. He linked the very first post I did a week ago."

Groan. "Dammit. . . . OK, you've been 'Lanched. . . . Never mind. The first thing to do . . ."

So then I ran her through the drill, explained she must first acknowledge the honor of her first 'Lanche, which is always more granted than deserved, with an update to the post. Mumbled curses. "It took Jammie Wearing Fool six months to get his first 'Lanche, Logan. Make sure you acknowledge Monique. You guys have got to be a team. . . ."

After I'd finished mumbling more, I tried to go back to sleep. But the TV was on MSNBC, and there was an Obama press conference at which he lied through his teeth, telling America that passage of his budget was a necessity. But as Monique has been saying for days, the federal government can auto-pilot on continuing resolutions indefinitely. There is no emergency, and the Obudget is the Mother Of All Crap Sandwiches.

No hope of sleep. Monique just switched over from Blogspot to a custom URL, but hasn't set up SiteMeter at the new site, so she can't even measure her traffic now. Minions Gone Wild, and now I've got Obama to blog.

When the going gets weird . . . hey, my Samoan attorney won't even return my calls. No justice. No peace. No sleep. No Ibogaine. Who to blame? Richard Spencer. If he hadn't struck out with Michelle Lee Muccio . . .

UPDATE: Little Miss Attila, kharma queen of the blogosphere, finds amusement in the virtual menage between me, Yockey and Insty. If we could just get an Ace-o-lanche, we'd be rolling.


  1. Never to early for Princess Bride references! (I didn't imagine them, did I?)

    Sounds like you have a great day shaping up. Congrats on the success of your protegee!

  2. Iocaine powder, Joan. But Princess Bride is a classic; watch it again.

    Suzanna's on fire other McC, and by that I mean HOT! But if she becomes as blog hit whorish as yourself my interest might eventually wain...

  3. Stacy, Stacy, Stacy, when are you going to learn? Do you think an obsessive like me could live without knowing how many people are checking my blog?

    The person who built my site hooked me up with some other shtuff. I suppose I could add sitemeter, too. I'll check with my web designer on that one.

  4. They tell me one has to put out to get an Ace-o-lanche.

    Come to think of it, he does link Allah a lot; had you noticed? NTTAWWT.

  5. Robert,

    I was reading up on Melatonin, something your body makes, until you start getting older, like, about 35-40. Then it drops off.

    Your body uses melatonin for a bunch of stuff, including letting you sleep through the night.

    Only.. you have to have the lights off. You might sleep, but the melatonin-generator still knows whether it is light around you or not. You need those dark, unlighted hours as well as the sleep.

    Take care,

    Brad K.

  6. All roads lead to RSM. When you dropped a link to my blog, traffic shot up 2,255% according to Google Analytics. A week later, following Rule #4, I laid into an author on PC World (Hey, I'm a tech blogger!), and he comes over to my blog (!!!) to (feebly) defend himself.

    Your influence is without bound.