NATALIE PORTMAN: AVAILABLE!

Forget about the eminent collapse of the worldwide economy. Forget about the troubling poll numbers for Republicans. There is good news, America:

Natalie Portman and her folk-rocker boyfriend Devendra Banhart have broken up, a source confirms to PEOPLE.
Portman, 27, began dating Banhart, also 27, after starring in his "Carmensita" video, which was shot last March. A short time later, they took their romance public when they were spott[ed] kissing on the streets of New York and over a sushi dinner at Jewel Bako.

This is important news because The Other McCain has gotten a good bit of traffic in recent months from the "Natalie Portman on a slim pretext" post. Like many other social conservatives, I am profoundly outraged by Hollywood hotties with wardrobe malfunctions. I'm also outraged that she would associate with a scummy folk-rocker dude. He doesn't deserve you, Natalie.