Sunday, December 13, 2009

I laughed, I cried, it was better than Cats

Usually, I don't praise films I haven't seen, but then again (a) most films don't buy BlogAds here, and (b) you've got to admire the thumbnail summary of Hive Mind:
The last man on earth is Doug Trench, conservative talk show host. Everyone else has been assimilated by Hive Mind, a massive collective consciousness born from implant cell phone technology. Secluded in his broadcast bunker for twenty years, Maha Trenchy decides to fire up his radio transmitter one last time before he is killed, and fight the Hive Mind with half his brain tied behind his back. A prophetic post-apocalyptic view of a world driven mad from political correctness and tyranny, from director Ladd Ehlinger Jr.
Ladd is on Twitter and his P.R. pitch was admirably blunt:
Get out of bed and approve my ad for your site, you lazy bum.
Also I expect you to purchase my movie Hive Mind & write three articles on it . . .
I can send complementary blog copy on DVD to you. But you must fawn over it.
To which I responded:
Save the postage. Fawning is on the house, because I admire your raw-aggression approach to marketing.
Clearly, this man is destined for greatness. Buy Hive Mind -- at last, a film director has discovered true genius. "I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. Ehlinger!"

UPDATE: Just noticed that Hive Mind is "not rated," which is Hollywood-speak for "lots of naked hotties." So you should definitely buy it now.

UPDATE II: There's a YouTube trailer:

UPDATE III: Formation of the McCain-Ehlinger Mutual Admiration Society was nearly disrupted when I mistakenly believed that America's finest filmmaker had dissed the author of the Best. Book. Evah! Once I explained that The World's Worst Person once fed me lunch, the misunderstanding was quickly cleared up.

Meanwhile, readers may be asking themselves, "Who is that hawwtt blonde in the Hive Mind YouTube video?"

She is Julie Collins, who just re-Tweeted me and thereby replaced Alyssa Milano as my favorite actress on Twitter. (Sorry, Alyssa, but you had your chance and missed it.) Ehlinger assures me that Julie isn't actually naked in Hive Mind -- wholesome entertainment for your entire family! -- but offered to send me MPEG scenes from the "Director's Cut" for a nominal fee. IYKWIMAITYD.


  1. He needs to put some kind of trailer on UTUBE.

    Just saying.

  2. My kid can do better.

    Juvenile Jockey's first you tube video. Amy Grant, Rocking Around The Christmas Tree.

    I sent this to the Multimedia Teacher it would be nice if the hits were up...I mean who is against extra credit :)

  3. I enjoy this fresh blend of roasted entertainment that which you blog about good sir, I hope one day my blogomobile is as success ridden as yours.

  4. Keyboard jockey,

    Dude, totally uncool to stain Herr McCain's most awesomely greatest blog post in the history of blog posts in regards to my most genius of films without buying an ad on his site. Perhaps you should consider getting your kid to pimp your warez on mySpace insteada dumping bitter in my evening coffee.

  5. It better be a good film McCain. I bought it as my birthday present from my beloved ball 'n' chain.