Wednesday, July 22, 2009

It's a Good Thing I'm Married . . .

. . . otherwise, Christina Hendricks would have to take out a restraining order to keep me away.

Deuce Geary is also married, to a wonderful woman who doesn't mind the drool-inducing effect of the Mad Men star's interview in the August issue of Redbook, wherein everybody's favorite redhead* answers the inevitable carpet/drapes question.

Exit Question: What's up with the near-universal male obsession with natural redheads?

* With apologies to Molly Ringwald. You know I still love you, Molly.

9 comments:

  1. This woman has great potential as a Republican mistress. Notify Michael Steele.

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  2. Hah, any attraction I might have had for natural redheads was amply cured by actually dating one.

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  3. I'll let Mr. Williamson speak for me...

    EYESIGHT TO THE BLIND
    Sonny Boy Williamson

    You're talking about your woman, I wish to God, man, that you could see mine
    You're talking about your woman, I wish to God that you could see mine
    Every time the little girl start to loving, she bring eyesight to the blind

    Lord, her daddy must been a millionaire, 'cause I can tell by the way she walk
    Her daddy must been a millionaire, because I can tell by the way she walk
    Every time she start to loving, the deaf and dumb begin to talk

    I remember one Friday morning, we was lying down across the bed
    Man in the next room a-dying, stopped dying and lift up his head, and said,
    "Lord, ain't she pretty, and the whole state know she fine!"

    Every time she start to loving, she bring eyesight to the blind
    (Spoken: All right and all right, now. Lay it on me, lay it on me, lay it on me
    Oh lordy, what a woman, what a woman!)

    Yes, I declare she's pretty and the whole state knows she's fine
    Man, I declare she's pretty, God knows I declare she's fine
    Every time she starts to loving, whoo, she brings eyesight to the blind
    (I've got to get out of here, now, let's go, let's go, let's go now)

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  4. I have not seen a true red head since Lucille Ball. Where are they all??

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  5. Those nice melons can't be real...she needs to show me.

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  6. Mr. Belvedere, we appreciate the blues reference. "Eyesight to the blind," indeed!

    Rev. Buzz: What, are you from Missouri?

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  7. The reason for the redhead obsession is universal admiration -- and often jealousy -- for the grandeur of humanity almost universally experienced as characteristic of Celts, and particularly of Northwest-European Celts: e.g., Celto-Irish, Celto-Scot, Celto-German and some Celto-French.

    The redhead signals the commendability of the Northwest-European Celt. Her near-universal obsession reflects near-universal attraction to the Northwest-European Celts on account of their plenary excellence.

    Other Celts include Celto-French, Celto-Pole, Celto-Bohemian, Celto-Italic, Celto-Greek, Celto-Slav, Celto-Turk. These too throw redheads but seemingly not as often as Northwest-European Celts, who are deeply mixed with North Germanics (Nordics, tending towards blonde, the second near-universal attraction), especially in and from Scotland and Ireland.

    The Northwest-European Celt is the near-universal standard of "beautiful people": fair or freckled complexion, red or red-brown hair (or blonde, but not "bleached"), fair spirit, tough-minded, resourceful, ascetic, reliable, inventive, emotional, straight-forward, downright, unpredictable, religious, literary, handsome, fecund, thrifty, self-reliant, adventurous, melodious, stable, lyrical, thoughtful, caring, indomitable, by turns self-indulgent and abstemious, a born leader, self-abnegating, irreducible, loyal, gentle as a lamb, skilled, creative and terrifying in war.

    That is just the way it is. As one proverb long has it regarding one element of the Northwest-European Celts: Perfervidum Ingenium Scotorum.

    Women who do not want to color their hair red often color it henna, which, when well done, is effulgent red in sunlight. Henna hair coloring is popular in Russia and Persia, and the movies.

    Everyone of late has noticed the transfixing beauty and grit -- two key measurements of "beautiful people" -- of Persian womanhood. Persians are integral with Celts in linguistic as well as physical genetics. The bagpipe is said to originate in Persia. (The Swiss mountain horn, BTW, is Tibetan.)

    This is why nearly everyone is attracted to redheads. It is near universal experience that Celts, and particularly Northwest-European Celts, embody in fullest measure the complete array of human grandeur, and the redhead signals all of that in one near-universally stunning attraction.

    (Perfection in this context, BTW, means completion of potentials, their full realization. A perfect human being is one all of whose potentials are fully realized. Perfection does not mean moral gradation. A perfect person is not a morally superior one. There are none of those. Perfection is not a moral category or norm. Perfection is a quantitive measure of completion, not a qualitative measure of morality. Latin perficere, to complete.)

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  8. She was a lot of fun to watch while playing Saffron in two episodes of "Firefly". Of course, her nude scene in "Our Mrs. Reynolds" was a highlight...

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  9. Because men are pigs, that's why.
    Oink oink.
    Thanks for making the connection ObeliskToucher, I had forgotten that she played YoSafBridge.
    Word verification: formed (as in, she was built and formed to handle, son, glad that you dropped in...)

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