Saturday, October 10, 2009

Dan Riehl Rocks the Beebs

by Smitty

Dan Riehl serves up George W. Bush as an alternative to Barack Obama.

Great stuff. Thank you, Dan.

Update: PowerLine reports that, in Norway, the people there are something like 2:1 against the Obama Nobel.

Once you begin to doubt . . .

"Reality is that which doesn't go away when you stop believing in it. There are faint glimmers of this in academia. Even the most cement-headed of academics have begun to notice that, for example, the moral codpiece of 'diversity' doesn't make anyone happy."
-- Scott Locklin, Taki's Magazine

Axelrod; Axl Rose: maybe I need more sleep

by Smitty

Marginal Revolution quotes Axlerod raising the specter of the Nobel Peace Prize having an opposite effect to that intended.
this isn't something I gave a moment of thought to until today. Hopefully people will receive it with some sense of pride. But I don't know; it's uncharted waters.

I saw Axelrod and read Axl Rose, which led to a free association of this cut:

Let's see how the Administration and the current economic situation stacks up against the lyrics:

"Right Next Door To Hell"

I'll take a nicotine, caffine, sugar fix
Jesus don't ya git tired of turnin' tricks
But when your innocence dies
You'll find the blues
Seems all our heroes were born to lose

The character could be BHO or Lemmy at this point...

Just walkin' through time
You believe this heat
Another empty house another dead end street
Gonna rest my bones an sit for a spell
This side of heaven this close to Hell
That's one way of describing Detroit (h/t The Original Blogger)

Right next door to hell
Why don't you write a letter to me yeah
I said I'm right next door to hell
An so many eyes are on me
Right next door to hell
I got nowhere else to be
Right next door to hell
Feels like the walls are closing in on me
And how about those new FTC rules, anyway?

My mamma never really said much to me
She was much too young and scared ta be
Hell "Freud" might say that's what I need
But all I really ever get is greed
An most my friends they feel the same
Hell we don't even have ourselves to blame
But times are hard and thrills are cheaper
As your arms get shorter
Your pockets get deeper
Those last two lines capture this Administration's approach to the budget deficit as well as any other analysis.

Right next door to hell
Why don't you write a letter to me yeah
I said I'm right next door to hell
An so many eyes are on me
Right next door to hell
I never thought this is where I'd be
Right next door to hell
Thinkin' time'll stand still for me
Time is not on Obama's side or Rose's, unfortunately.

F--- --u
This spacer in the song was explored by Klavan at some length.

Not bad kids just stupid ones
Yeah we thought we'd own the world
An gettin' used was havin' fun
I said we're not sad kids just lucid ones yeah
Flowin' through life not collectin' anyone
So much out there
Still so much to see
Time's too much to handle
Time's too much for me
It drives me up the walls
Drives me out of my mind
Can you tell me what this means...huh?
Oh, the woes of the Obama voter. "Right next door to Hell" was quite a rock'n'roll prophecy indeed.

The fact that Axl Rose finally got around to releasing Chinese Democracy is less than comforting...

A classic take on health care

by Smitty

Mrs. Porch Maqué points out a classic episode of Yes, Minister:

Both undeserving and unaccomplished

"There was a time when the Nobel Peace Prize actually meant something, such as when Theodore Roosevelt won the award in 1906 for helping negotiate the Portsmouth Treaty that ended the Russo-Japanese War, or when Vice President Charles G. Dawes won the prize in 1925 for devising a plan that restructured Germany's World War I reparations payments. Hell, even those laureates who were undeserving - Mikhail Gorbachev, Yasser Arafat, Jimmy Carter, and Al Gore - at least had actual accomplishments to their names. But Barack Obama? Absolutely nothing."
-- Mike Larouche, South Texian

Update: (Smitty) Bluegrass Pundit enumerates the toxicodendronates who got the less desirable headwear.

First of all, Patrick Lanzo isn't originally from Paulding County, Ga., and . . .

. . . second, his tasteless sign is not a valid commentary on ObamaCare. But among the several other things wrong with this CBS News story, let's start with the dateline.

Temple is in Carroll County. Patrick Lanzo's Peach restaurant is in Paulding County. So CBS reporter Michelle Marsh can't even get the geography right, which casts doubt on her ability to understand the cultural significance of what it is that Lanzo intends by his unfortunate gesture.

This is not the first time the media has erred in a misguided attempt to find political meaning in this particular phenomenon, which compelled me to explain last November:
Just some demographic background for people who aren't familiar with Georgia. Paulding County is a fast-growing exurb of Atlanta, with a population of more than 120,000 that's increased nearly 50% since 2000. Median household income is more than $58,000.
When I was growing up in Douglas County, Paulding County was overwhelmingly rural. My hometown of Lithia Springs was sophisticated and cosmopolitan compared to Dallas or Hiram. But as neighboring Cobb County became urbanized, the Cobb developers moved westward.
The big thing was when Thorton Road (Ga. 6) was widened and connected to U.S. 278 via Powder Springs and Hiram, so that you now have a virtual freeway all the way from the Atlanta Airport (Camp Creek Parkway) to Rockmart (in Polk County). The area around the intersection of U.S. 278 and Ga. 92 in Hiram is now massively developed. A lot of the residents of Paulding County commute to jobs in Cobb or Douglas counties, especially in the industrial developments around the intersection of I-20 and Thornton Road.
Lanzo's Peach Bar is being spun as part of a "racist backlash" against Obama, which is silly: Paulding County never forward-lashed, so how can they backlash? Of course, the prosperous blue-collar exurbanites of Paulding County voted 69% Republican, but that doesn't make them evil, does it?
3, 2, 1 . . . raaaaacist! I wrote that Nov. 18, 2008 -- nearly 11 months ago -- and in all this time, Charles Johnson has yet to cite it as evidence of my Gelleresque evil. Why? Because he's lazy and stupid. If he were reasonably industrious and clever, he would have at some point found this item and said, "A-ha! Look the notorious white supremacist blogger is defending this!"

Uh . . . no. To explain is not to defend. In my experience, people like Mad King Charles, who make a big hairy deal out of being open-minded and enlightened, are some of the most benighted bigots you'll ever meet.

The use of the "n-word" and other such epithets was not tolerated by my parents, teachers or church leaders. As I've often said, my mother would have washed my mouth out with soap and worn me out with a belt if I'd ever spoken so insultingly. The fact that my mother was a native of Randolph County, Ala., born in 1929 -- and that I was born in 1959 in Atlanta, Ga., and raised in Douglas County, Ga. -- does not constitute proof that she or I or any of our kin were "racist," anymore than anyone born in New York or Massachusetts.

All my life, however, I've had to deal with the stereotypical presumption that all white people from the South are uniquely racist -- the collective embodiment of an evil that has replaced blasphemy of the Holy Spirit as the unforgiveable sin. Guilty until proven innocent.

Frankly there are times when a Southerner is tempted to surrender to the stereotype: "Fine. You call me a racist no matter what I do or say, so I'll go ahead and be as racist as you think I am."

This, I believe, is the temptation to which Patrick Lanzo has succumbed or, if not, it's part of his appeal to whoever the customers of his restaurant are. As the local NAACP told CBS News, the "latest ploy for attention by Mr. Lanzo is not surprising."

Another Black Conservative is correct to cite this as a rebuff to "the Raaaaacism Industrial Complex" that they are "are helping to hide real racists like Lanzo in a sea of falsely accused racists."

But you know something? I'd be willing to bet that if Lt. Col. Allen West were to hold a fund-raiser in Paulding County, Ga., it might be one of the most successful events imaginable, and that he might even get a couple hundred bucks from Patrick Lanzo.

Whatever their faults or failings, the decent folks among whom I grew up have always admired real courage, and Allen West has got that in trumps. Certainly, the colonel has no fear of the Flemish Menace.

(Via Memeorandum.)

Update: (Smitty) My humblest apologies. I had comments selected to approve, and then clicked the "Reject" link on one which said something completely unconstructive. I owe the five or so of you, who had valid things to say, my sincerest regrets for the inconvenience.

Frolicking on McCain's Just-Reached Anniversary...

by Smitty

...a half-century of unbridled Americanism. So, yeah, that's going to dominate the FMJRA as much as if he'd, say, won the Nobby Peas Prize, instead of merely resembling one.

Blogospheric Birthday Blockbuster
All those who rogered up for the big 50:
  • Vanderleun's demolition of Charles Johnson's photography, "Dedicated to Stacy McCain on the occasion of his 50th Birthday", certainly deserves top billing. Wow. To quote Gagdad Bob: "I just reread this post slowly, in order to savor the sweet verbal abuse. It might be the finest piece of insultainment I've ever read." I concur, though, in fairness, there is worse photography to be found.
  • Little Miss Attila: "1) Do not annoy Gerard. Ever." But she does happy b-day Cynthia, Stacy, and Sean.
  • A Conservative Shemale offers the hat tip.
  • Cynthia Yockey: "Today Stacy McCain turns 50, embraces Pamela Anderson nude and says Rachel Maddow is hot".
  • Carol's Closet circulates rumors about birth certificate irregularities in the McCain case.
  • Obi's Sister rounds up the posse.
  • HotMES is right in there.
  • Jimmie Bise apparently suffered through my Wide Supra-Machinist post.
  • The Daley Gator offered kudos, with the expectation that this blog would say nice things about Daley Gator: "Nice things about Daley Gator". We aim to please.
  • Honesty in Motion sends greetings.
  • Pat in Shreveport make a shocking admission.
  • Rhetorican offers a hat tip.
  • Piece of Work in Progress says hi, offers 'shroom photo and a happy b-day.
  • Paco takes the cake.
  • The Fabulous Pamela links Vanderleun's awesome gift to Stacy.
  • The Camp of the Saints celebrates the Stacypalooza, including the Supra-Machinist post.
Could the Senate GOP be less impressive?
Fail, Epic (One Each): the Oslo File
The Bill Sparkman Report:
Pre-Milking the Cow
If the Left likes the idea, e.g. promiscuity, that alone makes it suspect.
Rachel Maddow and Nigel Horne
(Who really tempts me to suspend my "Names are sacronsact" policy.)
  • HotMES rounds up the outraged reactions . She also brings us in on a Tom Coburn post.
  • A Conservative Shemale has good coverage on the subject.
  • American Power considers Rachel among a review of challenges facing conservatives.
  • The Rude News picks up the story, along with an interesting tidbit about Greta van Susteren.
  • Medary states that Maddow officially beclowned herself.
  • The Classic Liberal leaps to Stacy's defense.
  • The Daley Gator puts it well:
    Thetrouble for Maddow, besides her lack of talent, is that the only people stupid enough to buy the crap she is selling are Leftists like her. Everyone else rolls their eyes when she talks, and hits the channel up button on their remote. That is the problem with being an intellectual pinhead. Pretty soon everyone gets bored with your spiel, and just tunes you out.
    Although calling Maddow a pinhead might be an insult to Zippy.
  • Saberpoint has some counter-speculations on Rachel. Stogie also supports Stacy in the face of the Nigel Horne libel. There is also linky-love for the Day-by-Day 'lanch.
  • Carol's Closet:
    It takes a lot of self confidence to hold one's tongue when being wrongly attacked. It also takes a lot of class. Stacy is showing that he has both qualities. Neither will be found in people who take part in drive-bys.
  • American Power supported Stacy in multiple locations.
  • So it Goes in Shreveport has the full transcript, and cheers the Horne missive.
  • No Runny Eggs gives Stacy a thumbs up.
  • Little Miss Attila handles the situation with her standard aplomb.
  • A Newly Conservative Lesbian avows that Stacy is not a white supremacist, allows that Rachel is a dupe. Cynthia also has a variety of video recommendations on the topic.
  • Bride of Rove spins the Wheel of Speculation for Rachel and comes up with "RACHEL MADDOW – FAKED HER COLLEGE DEGREE?" Nicely done.
  • Paco: "Rachel Maddow Rages against the Dying of the Light"
  • Pundette offers a concise analysis of the methodology.
  • Fishersville Mike: "Wonder how Rachel Maddow deals with little kids? That's right, she works with Keith Olbermann." But which one is doing the actual babysitting?
  • Eric Dondero supports Stacy at Libertarian Republican.
  • FullosseousFlap's Dental Blog brings in Day-by-Day and the infamous Press the Meat clip.
  • Bob at The Camp of the Saints offers a highlighted transcript and a flogging of Maddow.
Janeane Garofalo, Junior Grade Jack-Gas
Romin' Polanski:
That Alien Colmes:
The Sheer Travesty of the Voting for the Steel Cage Art Death Match:
[bilious belly-aching goes here]
Have You Helped Kill Newspapers Today?
Other FMJRA Outings:
Miscellaneous Shouts:
  • Adrienne's Catholic Corner, in some of the most shocking shamelessness ever, admits to dragging Stacy to bed, in a literary sort of way.
  • In Mala Fide appreciates the linky love.
  • Chapomatic liked the recent Hunter Thompson post.
  • Jesse Hathaway expresses dismay that Stacy isn't all over the ACORN transvestite story.
  • Obi's Sister links us on subliminal art. She also recalls discussing the authorship of DFMF (let's just call it 'defoomf') with Stacy.
  • Kn@appster picks up an interesting quote on Stacy's gonzo cred.
  • Lesbian Books and News picks up the Rep. Jan Schakowsky denial.
  • The Mean ol' Meany had a painful looking Olympic photo.
  • Moralia posts concerning what must be some interesting domestic arrangements.
  • Rightofcourse seems to be saying that sexxxxxism is just as important as raaaaacism.
  • So it Goes in Shreveport hat tips us when Gryphen leaves his calling card on Sarah's new book. Also, Pat offers a link in a Kevin Jennings post.
  • The Classic Liberal rounds up news that the recovery cake is a lie. TCL also hat-tipped us on the latest Real Members of Congress post.
  • Track-a-'Crat has a great copy of the Race Card.
  • Troglopundit went just a little overboard with the Sarah Motivators. But that's in character for the Trog. But he recovered by quoting an IOC quip of mine.
  • Dustbury picked up the Chicago curb-kicking. Was it merely as pre-Olympic head fake?
  • Left Coast Rebel points out that Bob Dole puts the Noir in Rino.
  • One Big Dog has an Al Franken post and randomly linking us, as if that's all the more excuse needed for FMJRA inclusion.
  • South Texian linked us on LGF.
  • James Edwards links us while attacking Steven Crowder. But Edwards doesn't sound very edumacated on his point. Edwards should take a biochemistry class, to learn about how nebulous the distinctions he tries to draw really are.
  • The Rude News, with a cool Thulsa Doom pic.
  • American Power suggests Stacy apply for the WaPo's Next Great Pundit Contest. I'll venture that Stacy might prefer the gig to, say, gender re-assignment surgery, though by how much exactly is difficult to gauge.
  • The Left Coast Rebel tweaks us over the Pamela Anderson ad.
  • Bob Belvedere thinks that David Brooks is a flamer, and concurs that the economic fundamentals still suck.
There is your FMJRA wrap for the day. All oversights are due to myopia. Direct all brick-bats at Smitty.

And, prophetically, William Jacobson offers Farce Repeats Itself As History, which is a handy way to drop a hint that the same defective keyboard that brought you OediPOTUS Wrecks and Waiting for O-Dough is going to complete "Czar d'Oz" this weekend. Fear.

The Stunning Rachel Maddow

by Smitty

American Glob has a clip of Rachel discussing polling and Fox News. She actually states that Fox is a "fairly diverse organization". It's a set-up for a swipe at the GOP, but still an amazing assertion for the lady.

The road to recovery is long and arduous. You go, Rachel.

3, 2, 1 -- Raaaaacist!

Brian Ledbetter at Snapped Shot created a GIF -- exposing an imitation of a Matisse painting -- that got him linked by name at Michelle Malkin.

Well, guess who cried "raaaaacism"? That white-to-the-point-of-translucence honky, Charles Johnson:
164 Charles
10/09/2009 2:39:26 pm PDT
By the way, I strongly suspect that the real reason for all this fake outrage is because the Obamas chose a painting by an African American artist -- instead of the "original" by a European white man.
OK, time to explain that my college minor was art, and included one semester in African-American art history taught by Professor Oakley Holmes (author of The Complete Annotated Resource Guide to Black American Art), so I know everything all the way back to the impressive ancient sculptures of Ife and Benin.

To say that this one work by one artist (Alma Thomas) is blatantly derivative is not to make a value judgment about anything, except perhaps about the standards for the White House art collection. Hell, I never cared for Matisse in the first place, any more than I cared for Picasso or Modigliani, to name two other famed practicioners of that intellectual fraud known as "Modern Art." (Modigliani is like a multiple-choice question: Bad draftsmanship, ugly models, or both?)

The fact that Charles Johnson sees this as evidence of racial prejudice only goes to show that he sees everything as evidence of racial prejudice.

Hey, wait a minute: "Matisse." Doesn't that name sound vaguely . . . Belgian?


UPDATE: More raaaaacist art. (Say what you will about Chris Muir, when he draws chicks, he draws 'em right.)

Friday, October 9, 2009

Congratulations to the Duggars!

Their first grandchild, Mackynzie Renée Duggar, is welcomed into the world by her grandparents, Jim Bob and Michelle, and by 17 aunts and uncles.

Babysitters? We don't need no stinkin' babysitters!

No Sheeples Here: Loose Oslo Solo Silo

by Smitty

No Sheeples weighs in with some blistering YouTube-age:

It gets worse.

"He was merely flexing," said a non-existent White House spokesman of the Oslo triumph. "Al Gore is running scared, and with good reason," continued the imaginary source. "Here, check out this list we gave to the Acacemy:"

"We decided to limit the take order to half a dozen. The appearance of greed is a purely Republican thing, after all," continued the tool in deep knee-bend mode. "There are some other awards we heard we've won:" (h/t Insty)

Reached for comment, BHO said:

Update: Speaking of Albert Gore, Jr.

Update II: No Sheeples drives the Oscar bus just a few miles more.

'Worked up into a fine froth'? LGF's rage vs. the cheerful laugher of conservatives

Over at the Unlinkable Land of Liberal Lizards, Charles Johnson sneered at the reaction to Obama's Nobel Prize for Nothing, prompting another spectacularly laughable act of sycophantic fellatio by the aptly named Sharmuta:
Posted in: A Peace Prize for the President
»30 Sharmuta
10/09/2009 8:43:23 am
Of course, Republican pundits are worked up into a fine froth over it.
Certainly rains on their Olympic Failure celebration.That was short lived. Perhaps it's karma.
Notice the liberal chop-logic involved here:
  • Obama fails to win the Olympics;
  • Conservatives laugh;
Ergo . . .
  • Conservatives are hateful.
Input different data into the LGF Chop-Logic Dispenser, and still it produces the same conclusion:
  • The Nobel committee bestows an unmerited laurel on the eminently unaccomplished novice;
  • Conservatives laugh;
Ergo . .
  • Conservatives are hateful.
The liberal argument is not actually an argument, but rather an unsupported assertion and a demand: "Liberalism is good! Stop laughing, you haters!"

Their anti-logic begins with the conclusion and accepts any "evidence" to prove it, ignoring all contrary evidence nor even bothering to test the alternative hypothesis: Liberalism is always, predictably, 100% wrong.

Why is the alternative hypothesis rejected? Because it's so simple that even the undistinguished graduate of a third-tier state university can understand and explain it. The truth being apparent to any honest mind, the elitists seek an explanation so complex that their credentialed expertise is required to articulate it.

Whether you call it "socialism," "liberalism" or "progressivism," the worldview of the Left -- The Vision of the Anointed, as Thomas Sowell so brilliantly described it -- has always appealed to the self-congratulatory impulses of the intelligentsia. The complexity of this worldview, constantly calling into service their verbose specialty ("Well, of course the policy hasn't had its desired result, however . . ."), makes them necessary and therefore flatters their sense of their own importance and superiority.

Friedrich Hayek -- who won the Nobel Prize before it had begun the process of progressive political devaluation -- examined this phenonomenon in "The Intellectuals and Socialism":
It is perhaps the most characteristic feature of the intellectual that he judges new ideas not by their specific merits but by the readiness with which they fit into his general conceptions, into the picture of the world which he regards as modern or advanced. It is through their influence on him and on his choice of opinions on particular issues that the power of ideas for good and evil grows in proportion to their generality, abstractness, and even vagueness. As he knows little about the particular issues, his criterion must be consistency with his other views and suitability for combining into a coherent picture of the world.
Read the whole thing (also available in PDF). Yet Hayek only expended 7,628 words on this subject, hardly exhausting its vast potential. Criticism of this phenomenon could fill endless volumes, for every day some liberal elitist makes some new error in logic that is inevitably praised by all the bien-pensants (membership in the Community Of The Well-Meaning And Enlightened being the essential object of the intellectual's pronouncements).

Furthermore, Hayek wrote that essay in 1949 and died in 1992, so he never had the opportunity to apply his insights to the interesting phenomenon of Little Green Footballs. Charles Johnson jumped on the post-9/11 GWOT bandwagon in 2001, rode it as long as it suited him until, in Octbober 2007, he began defaming anti-jihad activists like Pamela Geller.

Yet Johnson's primary loyalty has always been to that "picture of the world which he regards as modern or advanced." So long as Bush and the GOP were riding high, Johnson dishonestly concealed or suppressed his contempt for the traditionalist tendencies of Geller and other conservatives.

Once it became apparent that Bushism had run its course, however, Johnson discarded his selfish pretense and opened fire on an erstwhile ally. Geller was a target of opportunity. She didn't have Sean Hannity's personal cell-phone number in her speed-dial, and her sharp-elbowed New York attitude meant that she had made a few enemies on the Right. Thus, when Mad King Charles began accusing Geller and others of sympathy for "Euro-fascism," he did so with the cynical calculation that no one important would object, at least not publicly.

One by one, Johnson targeted Geller's defenders (Richard Miniter, Diana West, et cetera) who were successively thrown under the Little Green Bus, their reputations besmirched by his dishonest assertion that they were blind to the totalitaritarian tendencies of European conservatives. Of course, these tendencies were apparent only to Charles Johnson and his sycophants, who began to wave the Dreaded Banning Stick at anyone who doubted that Gates of Vienna was plotting a 21st-century Beer Hall Putsch or that Vlaams Belang was a greater threat to American security than Al Qaeda.

Once the 2008 election had passed -- in fact, the day after Election Day -- Mad King Charles resumed his Anti-Geller Inquisition with new zeal, and I took alarm. From that moment, I became a target on the LGF radar, much like Glenn Beck and the Tea Party movement, until the 9/12 convergence gave Johnson an excuse to denounce Stephen Green (?!) as a crypto-fascist sympathizer.

LGF's drain-circling downward spiral into full-blown Sullivanesque parody has relentlessly proceeded until there is no distinction between Mad King Charles and Media Matters ("Right-wing media root against America ... again: Media conservatives cheer when America loses, fume when it wins").

Some commenters have speculated that Johnson is now on the Soros gravy train, a conspiratorial suspicion that violates Occam's Razor. Johnson surely isn't a sellout, for this would mean that he had been bribed to betray some important principle or to dishonor some obligation of loyalty.

Yet no one has ever offered evidence that Charles Foster Johnson ever had any principle or honor, and or that he was ever loyal to anyone but himself. He has been consistently vicious and selfish, and this only escaped notice so long as it served Johnson's interests to deceive those whose assistance he sought in advancing his own self-aggrandizing agenda.

So now conservatives laugh at Johnson's new idol, Obama, and he responds by sneering at Red State's Erick Erickson and others whose favor he once so earnestly elicited. Certainly, I took no part in the "fine froth," as I was busy coping with Vonda and the cable company, my only response to the subject being a sarcastic jest. So far as I expressed any irritation, it was directed at Allah (who hates me) and Erik Telford (who has repeatedly snubbed me).

Yet Mad King Charles, guided by his self-congratulatory commitment to all things "modern or advanced," projects his own rage onto the former friends whose backs are now so thickly studded with his knives.

How shall we react to Obama's Nobel Prize for Nothing? Nonsensible Shoes suggests:
Ignore it, it's a distraction, just like the IOC vote down of Chicago. . . . [W]ho cares if 5 Norwegians think President Obama is a conduit for peace?
Indeed. And yet we can thank those Norwegian fools for this gift and the laughter it has inspired.

Memo to Oslo

My wife cancelled the ground-line phone service we'd been getting via the cable company, without realizing that this would also require us to get a new cable-modem connection for the high-speed DSL Internet service.

So Friday morning, I had no Internet and -- because my wife was working lunch shift as the school cafeteria lady -- it fell my duty to go to the cable company and get this mess straightened out, a task for which my impatient temperament makes me particularly ill-suited. (Please hit the tip jar, so I can hire an intern to deal with mundane crap like this.)

After a 10-minute wait behind the herd of mouth-breathing subliterates demanding service -- Why did the cable company cancel their pro-wrestling premium pay-per-view? Can payment be made in food stamps? -- until it was my turn to talk to the friendly woman at the counter named Vonda, who accepted the old Internet modem I was turning in and disappeared into the backroom.

Tempus fugits and time is money, and every minute I waste standing in line at the cable company is a minute I'm not doing something for which I might be paid money. By contrast, Vonda is being paid $20 an hour, no matter how slowly and inefficiently she performs her job, but can't be fired unless her employer is prepared to spend the money necessary to fight a wrongful-termination suit.

Vonda is a woman and is therefore a "protected class" under state and federal law. She has full benefits and a salary, but any actual work she does is strictly optional. Her company has a government-licensed monopoly on cable service in our county, and I can't even get online to rattle the tip jar. (Thanks to Randall in Ohio, Eric in Texas, and Barry in Missouri for their contributions. Whether it's $1, $10, $25 or $50, every donation is appreciated by my wife and six kids.)

Welcome to the 21st century, you see. So my time is wasted while Vonda goes to the backroom and I stand there at the counter amid the mouth-breathing wrestling fans. Well, as my late father said, "Whoever told you life was supposed to be fair, son?"

Vonda returns to tell me that it will be a few minutes before the new modem is ready. Does this mean I'll have time enough to go smoke a cigarette? Yes, probably, says Vonda.

So I go outside, fire up a Parliament Light and start flipping through my cell-phone, trying to find someone I need to call, perhaps to get some usefulness out of this time I'm being forced to waste at the cable company. (Fact: Hunter S. Thompson never had to deal with this kind of two-bit crap.)

Ah, Stogie at Saberpoint! I call to thank him for his services and -- since I haven't seen any news the past 14 hours -- ask him what's up. He tells me that Obama has just been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. We talk a few more minutes before Vonda comes trotting out the front door of the cable company office, waving some paperwork I need to sign.

Great. Well, good-bye, Stogie. Hello, Vonda.

No justice in the world, you see? Even Obama admits he's done nothing to merit the Nobel Prize, while I'm compelled to deal with Vonda and the cable company, merely to get my Internet service re-connected. He's the Leader of the Free World, the object of worldwide admiration, and I'm an inconsequential peon, dealing with the cable company.

People ignore my e-mails and don't return my phone calls. Allahpundit hasn't linked me in months and you can go count the trackbacks at my Hot Air Greenroom special report to see how little interest conservative bloggers have paid to my reporting on the Sparkman case in Kentucky. Even Moe Lane won't link it.

Why? Because I suck, which is why Erik Telford makes sure I'm never invited to attend important conferences like the Defending the Dream Summit.

Dad was right. Life is unfair. You'd think a middle-aged man would be mature enough to deal with that. And now Obama is a Nobel Peace Prize winner. Because I suck.

Ah, well, I've still got the Paco Award. They can't take that away from me, can they? Hit the tip jar.

UPDATE: 5:25 p.m.: Michelle Malkin notices that the DNC Humor Commissars have now classified sarcasm as terrorism, which means we're all doomed to be waterboarded at the Blogospheric Gitmo.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

When the going gets weird . . .

. . . the weird put in a quick call to Woody Creek, Colo.:
Hunter S. Thompson's widow says she may consider a campaign for sheriff of Pitkin County, Colo., a development that could provoke fear and loathing in Aspen, where real-estate developers have long dreaded a return of the late "gonzo" journalist's infamous 1970 "Freak Power" politics.
Anita Thompson said in an exclusive interview Wednesday that she is being urged to seek the office by current Sheriff Bob Braudis, who is up for re-election in 2010 discussed the possibility of retirement in an interview last month with the Independent, a British newspaper.
"I'll have to talk to Bob," Mrs. Thompson, 36, told the American Spectator when asked about her possible future in politics. "The Aspen Disease is spreading in Pitkin County, almost out to Woody Creek."
Sheriff Braudis was a personal friend of Hunter Thompson, a Kentucky native and author of Hell's Angels, whose later books such as Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas defined the intensely personal style he dubbed "gonzo." . . .
Read the whole thing. And let the editors of the Charleston (W.Va.) Gazette consider that their offices are only 300 miles from my house. Y'all hit the tip jar.

UPDATE 2:49 p.m.:
Mrs. Thompson wishes it to be known that the suggestion of her seeking the office held by her friend Sheriff Braudis "has been a running joke for five years, just because of the posters."
My apologies, ma'am. What a huge embarrassment . . .

To the Editor: Journalism's 'Wretched Failure' vs. a 'Damn You Kind of Style'

A prophetic letter destined to be ignored:
Dear Sir:
Two articles in your October 12 issue on “The Americas” deserve a bit of comment. Probably others do, too, but be that as it may, I refer here to “News and Latin America,” by Bernard Collier, and What’s Happening to Journalism Education?” by John Tebbel.
The two are related, in that current journalism education is at least vaguely linked to our news coverage of Latin America. The subject interests me because I recently returned from a year and a half of traveling all over the South American continent as a free-lance journalist. . . .
The fact that Collier did his research in Buenos Aires – which most of the foreign-based U.S. correspondents deserted years ago – is a good indication of just how far behind the times he is. . . .
Collier says the Latin American press is guilty of “a dismal lack of analytical reporting on government affairs, both in time of crisis and during relative peace.” . . .
This is pure balderdash, and one of the best examples of what happens when a “Latin American correspondent” tries to cover his beat from New York. . . . And if he had ever been in Rio, did he ever get far enough away from the Hotel Excelsior Bar to lay hands on a copy of the afternoon O Globo and read some of their brutally anti-government editorials? . . .
Which brings us now to Tebbel’s lament that “research” is strangling the hopes for “professional training” in our schools of journalism. Perhaps your linking of the two articles was intentional – because Collier’s wretched failure to deal with his theme would appear to be proof of Tebbel’s thesis that journalism needs people who can cut the ever-toughening mustard. . . .
Tebbel might consider a few other problem areas before he takes up the standard of “professionally oriented programs” as the panacea for better and more meaningful journalism in our time. He should consider the case of the Herald Tribune, for instance, which only this year decided Latin America was important enough to give one of its staffers the title of “Latin American correspondent.” The man chosen to carry that ball was Bernard Collier – but thus far it appears the Tribune would have been better of sticking with the wire services, who at least have men on the scene who read the local papers.
Or consider the case of Ralph McGill, who regularly bemoans our serious lack of news from Latin America, but who cannot for some reason see his way clear to hire a man to cover that mysterious continent. The Atlanta Journal and Constitution even turns down freelancers who offer to send as many stories as the papers can use. . . .
Let Mr. Tebbel consider the broader possibilities for a moment, and postpone for a while his academic resentment of research in journalism schools. And let Mr. Collier, in reporting on a continent bogged down in misery and further from hope than most people in this country can possibly understand, at least give credit where credit is due, and not condemn out of ignorance a Brazilian journalist – putting faith in his fellow man to speak his own truth in a Damn You kind of style that “trained professionals” and “technicians” and “specialists” have just about killed in this country.
Hunter S. Thompson
Woody Creek, Colorado
Oct. 14, 1963
Excerpted from a letter to the editor of the Saturday Review, written when Thompson was 26, broke and unemployed. This letter was first published in a 1997 collection of Thompson’s early correspondence, The Proud Highway: Saga of a Desperate Southern Gentleman, 1955-67, edited by historian Douglas Brinkley.

The Review never published this letter – or anything else Thompson ever wrote. Founded in 1924 as the Saturday Review of Literature, the magazine was sold to the publisher of McCall’s in 1961 and resold several times during the next quarter-century. The magazine declined steadily until it ceased publication 1986; rights to the name were purchased by Penthouse publisher Bob Guccione.

Within a decade of writing this 1963 letter to the Review, Thompson had published three classic books – Hell’s Angels: A Strange and Terrible Saga (1966), Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1971) and Fear and Loathing: On the Campaign Trail '72 (1973) – becoming one of America’s most famous journalists.

He was subsequently portrayed in two feature motion pictures Where the Buffalo Roam (1980, starring Bill Murray) and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998, starring Johnny Depp), and was the subject of the 2008 documentary Gonzo (see my review for The American Spectator). In 2007, I became friends with Thompson’s widow, Anita, whom I met after publication of her book, The Gonzo Way.

UPDATE: An interview with Mrs. Thompson, whose sense of humor sometimes causes problems.

Godless Americans

The lemming herd of faithless fools:
Enlighten The Vote grew out of the historic "Godless Americans March on Washington" (GAMOW) held on November 2, 2002 in Washington, DC. On that memorable day, for the first time in history, the diverse community of Atheists, Freethinkers, Secular Humanists and other non-religious Americans gathered in our nation’s capitol to demonstrate to the world that we are free, proud and on the move.
Thanks for this helpful information, sir. How many Philistines did Samson slay with less?

'Retract, Please': Letter to the Editor
of the Charleston (W. Va.) Gazette

Dear Sir:
Your Oct. 7 editorial, "Palin Book: Already No. 1," contains factual errors which are defamatory and potentially libelous, to wit: "In 2006, Vincent teamed up with white supremacist Robert Stacy McCain to write a shrill book titled Donkey Cons: Sex, Crime and Corruption in the Democratic Party . . ."

Leave it to critics to judge whether or not Donkey Cons is "shrill" -- I suspect your editorial writer has not bothered to read it -- and ask yourself what authority there is for your assertion that I am a "white supremacist." Were this true, it would certainly come as a surprise to my numerous colleagues and friends, who are quite a panorama of diversity.

In the fourth paragraph of the aforesaid editorial, your writer was at least clever enough to cite two authorities for this defamation:
  1. A "former Washington Times reporter," whom we need not name, and whose personal problems -- divorce, unemployment, etc. -- might be considered relevant to his motives for maligning me and for the veracity of his accusations.
  2. The Southern Poverty Law Center, which began attacking me in 2000, after I published a feature article based on an interview with Kansas author Laird Wilcox ("Researcher Says 'Watchdogs' Exaggerate Hate Group Threat," 5/9/2000, Page A2, The Washington Times).
The Fifth Amendment of our Constitution means that I am not compelled to deny every false statement made about me. However, my silence cannot be considered proof that such statements are true.

When these accusations were first made, during my employment at The Washington Times, management decided not to respond, as to do so would tend to suggest that the accusers had some credibility. Therefore, I was required to maintain silence, rather than to make any rebuttal. By the time I resigned from the newspaper, in January 2008, to undertake a research trip to Africa, the appropriate time for explaining several falsehoods and misunderstandings had certainly expired.

Over the years, this malicious campaign against my reputation has metastasized spectacularly on the Internet, as individuals and organizations with various political or personal motives have elaborated and repeated them. Some of the original sources for these accusations (e.g., a column by Michelangelo Signorile) contained factual errors, which have been incorporated into the urban-legend mythology, producing a Gordian Knot of non-fact that is not worth the effort it would take to unravel it. Like ancient Alexander, however, I am prepared to swing the sword. Retract, please.

These charges have, as I say, taken on an Internet life of their own. However, never before have they been published in a print newspaper. Whatever malice against the former governor of Alaska inspired your publisher, editors and writers to undertake this false and dishonorable guilt-by-association smear, it was a most foolish blunder. Retract, please.

Having worked as a professional journalist since 1986, I have never forgotten the motto often repeated by those old-school editors who taught me the craft: If your mother says she loves you, check it out.

Hoping for warm friendship in the future, I remain sincerely

Your most humble and obedient servant,
Robert Stacy McCain
Co-author (with Lynn Vincent) of DONKEY CONS: Sex, Crime & Corruption in the Democratic Party

UPDATE: "Gee, Stacy, where did you learn this thing about letters-to-the-editor as a literary genre?" Like I say, sometimes you must ask yourself:
UPDATE II: Former Washington Times intern Monique Stuart:
Now, for the most part, Stacy is staying above the fray. And, I applaud him for that. He shouldn’t have to defend himself against such wild accusations. And, the truth is, he doesn’t have to. . . .
Read the rest. And don't ever get on Monique's bad side.

Samuel L. Jackson will star in movie adaptation of Lynn Vincent's book

No, not Donkey Cons or Sarah Palin's new Going Rogue, but the No. 1 New York Times bestseller she co-authored, Same Kind of Different as Me:
Samuel L. Jackson has signed on to star in "Same Kind of Different as Me," an adaptation of a nonfiction bestseller that has been adapted by screenwriters Roderick and Bruce Taylor ("The Brave One").
Jackson will play Denver Moore, an ex-con drifter who develops an unlikely friendship with a wealthy Dallas art dealer named Ron Hall. The book, written by Hall, Moore and Lynn Vincent, was optioned by Veralux Media in 2008. With Jackson aboard, the script is now being shopped for production financing.
Ralph Winter will produce through his 1019 Entertainment banner, with Veralux's Mark Clayman and Jennifer Gates. Jackson will be exec producer alongside Brad Reeves, Susana Zepeda and Todd Shuster.
Don't worry, Rachel Maddow and Charles Johnson: I'll tell Lynn to say "hi" to Mr. Jackson for y'all.

Another book that's soon to be a major motion picture: Another Man's War, the incredible true story of the "Machine Gun Preacher," African missionary Pastor Sam Childers. Son of a Pennsylvania steelworker, Sam became involved in drugs and crime as a teenager. Fearing arrest or violent death, he fled to Florida, where he rode with outlaw bikers and met his wife while working as a "shotgunner" on a drug deal in a strip club.

After they married and returned to his native Pennsylvania, Sam built a million-dollar construction and real-estate business -- and gave it all up to establish an orphanage in war-torn Sudan, rescuing children from the terrorist army led by Ugandan madman Joseph Kony.

As Sam says, in Africa, dying is easy. It's living that's hard.

Republican Candidate News

by Smitty

The Libertarian Republican points to Rasmussen results showing that Republicans up for re-election in New Hampshire and Louisiana are polling favorably.

Also doing well is Virginia's own Bob McDonnell. Real Clear politics shows that the New Jersey gubernatorial race remains favorable to Cristie, albeit not so much as McDonnell's race.

Ultimately, we need these candidates to be more faithful than a trial lawyer:

The Zo and the Ott are a flippin' dangerous combination.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

ObamaCare's secret weapon:
The Senate GOP Jellyfish Caucus

"Reasonable," "moderate," "compromise" -- synonyms beloved by the RINO sellouts who are always ready to roll over and vote for anything called "reform":
I am told quite reliably that in a meeting today on Capitol Hill, Republican Senators began to rapidly move toward concessions on health care because they are afraid they cannot hold their members. . . . Republicans are starting to waver on this.
Aw, c'mon, Erick -- "starting to waver"? As if, until today, Republican Senators were a formidable phalanx of conservative stalwarts standing on guard to defend our liberties against the unconstitutional schemes of the Left?

Are we talking about the same Republican wussies who endorsed Charlie Crist in Florida? The effeminate weaklings who supported John McCain for the 2008 GOP presidential nomination? So far as anyone can tell, there is not a single Republican in the Senate who possesses a sound brain, a straight spine and a functioning set of testicles.

If anyone is still so foolish as to hope that these worthless Beltway GOP closet cases might yet stand up to Harry Reid, Michelle Malkin says to call your Senator via the Capitol switchboard -- 202-224-3121 -- or call Sen. Mitzi McConnell’s office at 202-224-2541.

Man, in an urgent crisis like this, a blogger has to be careful to avoid typos . . .

(Via Memeorandum.)

UPDATE: "Grow a pair!" and other uncivil language from Blago Bloggo. Also linked by Jimmie at the Sundries Shack, Doug at Daley Gator, Underground Conservative and in Larwyn's Linx at Director Blue.

Even worse than fake boobies or . . .

. . . how do you say "ick" in Arabic?
If you're a woman in a conservative Muslim country, you had better bleed on your wedding night. If you don't, your husband or his family will know you aren't a virgin. For that, you could be beaten or killed. . . .
The Artificial Virginity Hymen kit, distributed by the Chinese company Gigimo, costs about $30. It is intended to help newly married women fool their husbands into believing they are virgins—culturally important in a conservative Middle East where sex before marriage is considered by many to be illicit. . . . .
Via Instapundit and there's sickeningly more at from the L.A. Times and the Associated Press. Every blogger and his brother has already commented on this, and there's probably not much more I could say. Yet I feel that I must, even though I'm running late for an appointment in D.C. Perhaps the commenters can further elaborate on the wrongness of this situation.

Innocence is a wonderful thing, but deceit is heinous. Who is the worse fool here?
  • The man whose obsession with bridal chastity is so extreme that he would kill his own wife if he learned she was not a virgin?
  • The woman who would perpetrate an elaborate ruse in order to be considered acceptable by such a buffoon?
Is not honesty a virtue equal or superior to chastity? And what virtue shall we praise more than mercy? For even if society condemns fornication -- as well it should -- it would be a most cruel thing to seek a woman's hand in marriage under such terms as to require her to engage in a horrid deceit, lest she suffer death for being honest.

If this is genuinely the state of society in some places, then there is only one proper and honorable course of conduct for any woman who, for whatever reason, may have fear of this particular custom: Let her reject the proposed marriage.

Her would-be husband, if he genuinely wants her, ought to be willing to accept her as she is, however she is. Should the woman's suitor or her family demand to know the reason for her refusal, the woman is not obligated to incriminate herself by any confession of fault. Her adamant rejection could inspire suspicion that she hides a secret sin, or it might be supposed that she is merely excessively proud, and unwilling to accept a suitor she deems beneath her.

Either way, no woman should ever be compelled to accept marriage on dishonest terms.

David Brooks and 'all of those bitter, xenophobic, Bible-thumping clingers'

Look, I am on record as having hated David Brooks ever since "National Greatness," his idiotic 1997 expedition into asinine Big Government Republicanism. No one could ever exceed my limitless contempt for that elitist four-eyed neurasthenic wussyboy.

However, "many hands make light work," and the Brooksian capacity to inspire enmity has spawned a legion of emulative Brooks-haters, including one praiseworthy Red State diarist:
"For the life of me, I cannot understand why all of those bitter, xenophobic, Bible-thumping clingers love O'Reilly, Limbaugh, Beck and Hannity so much—particularly Limbaugh and Beck. I mean, why do hayseeds love those two chubby, former addicts more than me?! Don't they all know that I am the favorite "conservative" of the liberal elites? Sure, O'Reilly, Limbaugh, Hannity and Beck might all have sky-high ratings and millions of listeners/viewers (and Beck has unheard of ratings for an afternoon slot), but I write for The New York Freaking Times!! And, I'm frequently on Meet the Press and PBS (shows so prestigious that they do not need actual viewers) -- and people who listen to NPR love me (they can listen to me and get a free tote bag). That's got to mean something . . .
Read the whole hilarious thing. And hit my tip jar, for I am the Professor who tutors these neophytes in the advanced art of Brooks-hating.


Earlier today, in an exclusive report, The Other McCain Enquirer brought you revelations of the shocking liaison between Matt Welch and Andrew Breitbart -- a right-wing scandal that has sparked rumors and innuendo from Washington to Hollywood.

Welch has claimed that he and Breitbart are merely "friends," while insinuating that "respectable news outlets" should avoid the brewing imbroglio. However, the Enquirer can now reveal that there is new proof of other furtive right-wing rendezvous . . .

Breitbart (left) with Stephen Hayes (far right) of the neocon Weekly Standard. The mysterious figure in the center has yet to be positively identified.

Enquirer sources say Welch has been known to cavort at parties with girls barely out of their teens.

Welch (left) with a 20-year-old named McCain (far right).

Breitbart's association with young girls is also notorious, as he is alleged to have used 20-year-old Hannah Giles in a scheme to secure non-profit funding to import South American teen prostitutes to work for infamous pimp, James O'Keefe. Miss Giles may also have other connections to the Welch/Breitbart neocon conspiracy, as shown by this stunning new Enquirer photo . . .

Left to far-right: Neoconservative author David Frum, Hannah Giles, nefarious right-wing operatives Tom Qualtere and Sergio Gor, and Lynn Vincent, infamous collaborator with Sarah Palin.

Furthermore, while it has been alleged by Kejda Germani that the woman in this photo is, in fact, married to the arch-conspirator Breitbart, the mysterious man shown with her (far right) has yet to be positively identified. He is, however, reputed to be an extremely social conservative.

The Enquirer is devoted to bringing you exclusive coverage of this emerging scandal that "respectable news outlets" refuse to touch . . . .