The Rule 5 Bride

Christina Hendricks gets married.

Don't mind me. I always cry at weddings. Especially when they won't let me shoot fireworks at the reception. But let's don't go there. Too painful.

Hat-tips: Kevin and Jimmie on Twitter.

Russ Smith, Internet Genius

This headline bids fair for a place as Rule 6:

Robert Stacy McCain is very concerned about Andrew Sullivan's circumcised [noun]

Brilliantly combining Rules 2, 4 and 5, with a bit of homophobia thrown in for good measure. NTTAWWT.

Here I labor diligently to ensure that I get more "Established Men" ads in the rotation and -- by turning Rule 2 against me -- the evil mastermind of Splice Today obligates me to use the name "Andrew Sullivan," which automatically triggers the "meet gay singles" ad rotation. (I've reverse-engineered the algorithm.) Heaven knows what the algorithm will produce if I throw in Conor Friedersdorf, but I must consider the trade-off between traffic and click-through.

At any rate, there is nothing on earth that concerns me less than Sully's [noun]. Yet ever since Hannah Rosin brought it up, it seems to be all anyone wants to talk about.

Can we talk about Christina Hendricks, maybe? We now return you to your regularly scheduled VodkaPundit.

It's a Good Thing I'm Married . . .

. . . otherwise, Christina Hendricks would have to take out a restraining order to keep me away.

Deuce Geary is also married, to a wonderful woman who doesn't mind the drool-inducing effect of the Mad Men star's interview in the August issue of Redbook, wherein everybody's favorite redhead* answers the inevitable carpet/drapes question.

Exit Question: What's up with the near-universal male obsession with natural redheads?

NTTAWWT. Strictly an anthropological question.

* With apologies to Molly Ringwald. You know I still love you, Molly.

Thank you, Eric Reasons!

Noting my self-confessed status as a primitive Unfrozen Caveman Blogger, an unsolicited bit of tech advice came via e-mail from Eric Reasons, who told me how to add the "Add This" functionality to the blog. I'm so happy I want to re-post a Christina Hendricks cleavage video!

Helen Rittelmeyer, girl genius

"The road to success is paved with cheesecake," she says, and there's never a bad excuse to blog about Christina Hendricks.

Charles G. Hill got the message, too.

BTW, I noticed there will be a debate next week involving that punk, Ryan Sager, who never blogs about Christina Hendricks. Hint, hint.

URGENT UPDATE: Guess who's No. 1 on a list titled, "Ten Hottest Women Size 10 and Up"? (H/T: Conservative Grapevine.)

The Christina Hendricks autism test?

Weird science:

Men who do not find the shape of the curvier woman most attractive could be more likely to father children with autism, according to a study. . . .
The new research from the University of Bath suggests that fathers of autistic children do not share the preference of men across the world for the curvier woman. . . .
Dr Brosnan said he hopes the research will increase understanding of the causes of the condition.
'Autism is widely regarded to have genetic origins which may combine with hormonal influences', he said.
'We wanted to investigate the mechanisms by which these genes come together in a parental pairing, whether it is by chance or if it could be due to different preferences in choosing a mate - so-called assortative mating.
'This study raises some interesting questions about how the person we are attracted to could impact on our offspring.'

My completely unscientific hunch is that they're barking up the wrong tree. But how can we know unless we test the hypothesis? (BTW, none of my children are autistic.)

(Via Hot Air Headlines.)

January Jones, dissed?

A reader e-mails:

You've been giving a lot of love to Christina Hendricks (which is QUITE understandable), but let's not forget another good reason to watch Mad Men.

He then links to a Vanity Fair feature on co-star January Jones:

I don't know. The thing with Christina Hendricks is that she's such a rara avis. Skinny blondes are a dime a dozen in Hollywood, but you just don't see so many bombshell redheads. But I'm a free-market blogger, so if there is more demand for January Jones, I'll try to provide the supply.

Holiday traffic slump

It's hard out here for a blogger at Christmas. Hot Air's traffic over the past three Mondays has averaged about 420,000 hits. Today, as of 6 p.m., they were at 250,000. So it ain't just me who's hurting for traffic this time of year.

Comparing monthly totals also confirms that Hot Air's had the same pattern I've had here -- an amazing traffic spike in September and October, trailing off in November. Ah, well. Anybody up for some more Christina Hendricks?

Death by cleavage

Research reveals the risk:

One carefully conducted study did find an increase in the risk of breast cancer among lean women with larger breasts. In this study, two thousand women were grouped according to their bra size before childbirth. Women who were lean (chest size less than 34 inches) and had larger breasts (size B or C cups) were at significantly higher risk of postmenopausal breast cancer relative to women of the same chest size with an A or smaller cup size.

Do you know what this means? It means we owe a debt of gratitude to Christina Hendricks, who is courageously risking her life for our viewing pleasure.

Christina Hendricks wants you

She wants you to click her picture:

Thanks to her close personal friend, VodkaPundit.

The Christina Hendricks Gay Test

VodkaPundit wrote something very disturbing:

Christina Hendricks so isn’t my type. But lord, I am still a mammal.

"Very disturbing," I say, because if Christina Hendricks isn't your type, Steve, you're gay.

As a matter of fact, I suggest that Christina could function as pretty much a litmus test of heterosexuality. If you're a guy and you don't find her attractive, you might as well move to Provincetown. Note, however, that the Christina Hendricks Gay Test doesn't work for women -- if you're a woman who is otherwise straight but yet find yourself powerfully attracted to Christina, this doesn't make you a lesbian. It just proves how hot Christina is.

She puts the "bomb" in "bombshell," doesn't she? BTW, I was just checking SiteMeter and noticed that someone had reached this page by searching for "Christina Hendricks nude." Sorry to disappoint you, but there are apparently no such pictures available on the Internet. Trust me, I'm a professional journalist, and this is the kind of investigative journalism I'm good at.

Linked by VodkaPundit, who isn't really gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

UPDATE: [Deleted, by request.]

UPDATE II: Melissa Clouthier links. She's a pretty good test, too.