Thursday, July 23, 2009

Smitty's worried sick over this

Just got off the phone with my co-blogger, who is heartbroken to discover that no one has any plan to do anything about the rampant police brutality in that notorious cauldron of racial hatred known as Cambridge, Massachusetts.

Smitty says we need to do something. Like maybe get together some people from places like Arkansas, South Carolina, Alabama and Mississippi, and put them on buses to go up there to Cambridge and teach those evil white racists a lesson.

"Liberty Passengers"? "Equality Commuters"? Don't worry, we'll think of something, but . . .

But we're afraid if we did something like that, the wicked people up there in Cambridge might call us a bunch of self-righteous liberals, "outside agitators," and meddling Communist sympathizers. And what about those brutal police in Cambridge?

Experts have warned us that even a Harvard professor has no rights in Massachusetts that a racist Cambridge cop is bound to respect . . .

UPDATE: Don't worry, Jules Crittenden -- we're comin' to save ya. We've even got us some classic folk songs, updated just for the occasion:

By Joan Baez
(In the key of self-righteousness)

If Gates had a limo,
He'd ride it in the mor-or-ning!
He'd ride it in the evening,
All over this land!
It's a limo of freedom,
With a driver of justice,
It's s limo ride beside
My brothers and my sisters,

All over this land . . .
Everybody sing along!
Henry dropped out of law school,
But Yale hired him anyway,
Then he went on to Cornell and
Duke U-ni-vers-it-y!
Now he's teaching at Harvard!
And he's teaching with tenure!
And he's riding in a
Limousine, with words obscene
For you motherf***ing honkies
All over this land . . .
OK, next time, let's get more cowbell . . .
Well, he broke out a window,
Then his neighbors called the police.
And when they showed up, Skip said,
"Don't you know who I am?
"I've got tenure at Harvard!
"And I'm riding in limo!
"You're just hassling the black man
"Because you can, you g--d---
"Honky motherf---ers,
"All over this land!"

Well, they put him in handcuffs
And they booked him for
Then Obama took a
Question from
Axelrod's friend, Lynn Sweet.
And he said, "Skip's a victim!
"And the cops did something stupid!"
Just to agitate the hate
For honky motherf---ers
All over this land!
Next, we'll sing, "Gates Shall Overcome" . . .


  1. Am I the only one to notice that this speech is the first one that Obama has delivered since Old TOTUS died, and it is the worst he has given since the election? Even Chrissy "Crazy Legs" Matthews noted that it was a boring speech. Is there a connection, or am I imagining things.

    Look, Old Totus knew his job, and he was great at it. He would never have let the Prez wander off the reservation into racism and stuff like that. I'm afraid we are in for weeks and weeks of gaffs, bad speeches, and declining polls until New TOTUS gets up to speed.

  2. @Scott,
    The boration was a depresser, not a speech.

  3. This is absolutly beautiful, R. S.! And do not forget that it was the same, enlightened South Boston Irish that did not want black childrren in their neighborhoods during the forced busing heyday in the 1970s. Nor did they want their children to go to the black schools as well. Oh, almost forgot that these same enlightened people keep voting for the safe driver of '69-Ted Kennedy-for the senate. Unreal!