Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Announcement: Waiting For O-Dough

by Smitty

Flush, in the manner of a defective toilet, with the success of OediPOTUS Wrecks, Porch Manqué Productions and its publisher, The Other McCain, were poised to move forward with equally ambitious, dramatic, culturally significant work.

But the budget just wasn't there. So, like any shameless contemporary American outfit, they sought a bailout. When in Rome, do as the Georgians, no?

This piece of Reality Stage-blogging catches Smitty and Stacy as they are poised on the edge of the cusp of success, Waiting for O-Dough…

Act I is up at noon, EST on 09 Sep, with
Act II concluding at noon, EST on 10 Sep

Bob Belvedere

Critical reactions have stunned us, along with minor contusions and a possible fracture. Who knew the SEIU and ACORN were theatre-goers? Here's what they're saying:
  • Samuel Beckett: Intellectual sodomy!
  • Vlad the Impaler: I'd like to give Smitty tea, crumpets, and a sharp stick. And I'm out of tea and crumpets.
  • Alexander Solzhenitsyn: There are archipelagos full of creeps like Smitty.
  • Archimedes: You reek-a!
  • Tōgō Heihachirō: This junk goes down like the Russians at the Battle of Tsushima.
  • Horatio Nelson: Hei domo, Tōgō-san: sound your ship's bell. You know this leaky fishing boat really sinks like the French at Cape Trafalgar.
  • Chester Nimitz: Jolly good, Horatio. But you know that this garbage scow actually hits the bottom like the Imperial Fleet at the Battle of Midway.
  • Cliff Burton: I'd like to offer Smitty some free dental work. Some anesthesia, pulling teeth, you know?
  • Tiberius Claudius Ceasar Augustus Germanicus: I'd throw Smitty to the lions, but that would be unethical treament of lions. Maybe wild dogs?
Very roughly, even brutally, equivalent praise for OediPOTUS Wrecks:
  • H. P. Lovecraft: Typically, consumption by Cthulhu diminishes literary output. Smitty writes on; fearless, mindless, soulless. Scientifically fascinating.
  • Rob Roy MacGregor: O! many a shaft, at random sent, Finds mark the archer little meant! A thousand words, at random spoken, Would improve upon this jackass jokin'!
  • John Wayne: You've got ta be kiddin' me, pilgrim. Why, I haven't seen a manure stream that bad since they drove a herd of diarrhetic cattle across the river feedin' Michael Moore's ranch, givin' us Fahrenheit 9/11.
Copyright 2009, Christopher L. Smith


  1. Gen. Douglas MacArthur: I read it all. I came through. And I shall not return.

    Gen. George S. Patton: No man ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard read something like this.

    Ronald Reagan: Mr. Smith, tear down this posting!

    Gen. William T. Sherman: O'Dough is all hell.

    Julius Caesar: I came, I read, I wee-weed.

    M. de Sade: And you call me a sadist? Oui, oui!

    Abraham Lincoln: All-in-all, I'd rather take another trip to the theater.

    Van 'The Red' Jones: (muffled sobs) Raaaaacist!

    God: Oy vey! Time for another flood I'm thinking.

  2. @Bob,
    The Almighty too? I won't get into what this explains, but, suffice it to say, it's much.

  3. Jesus Of Nazareth: With this play, Smitty's nailed it--and I know a little bit about nailing [boom! boom!]. I'm here until sunset on Saturday, folks.

  4. @Bob,
    Now, nothing about anybody whose name rhymes with Nohammed, mind you.

  5. A Certain Prophet: This play is so good, when it becomes 9 years old, I'll marry it.

  6. @Bob,
    There is, ah...news...about the plumbing of the play, NTTAWWT.