Thursday, May 7, 2009

Levi Johnston: 'Mindless bag of hormones'

So says Laura at Pursuing Holiness, discussing the latest interview from the Bristol Palin baby daddy:
"Abstinence is a great idea," he said, "but I also think you need to enforce, you know, condoms and birth control and other things like that to have safe sex. I don't just think telling young kids, you can't have sex, it's not going to work. It's not realistic. " ... It's a great idea and a great message she's trying to send out to the world and all the young kids. It's not easy raising a baby. But I do think there's more things to it than just not having sex."
Yeah, Levi, but if you had stuck to the "just not having sex" part, you wouldn't be famous now, would you? You'd still be just some small-town jock chasing tail in Wasilla, and CBS News would never want to interview a nobody loser like that.

I remember back when the news broke of Bristol's pregnancy. My first post about it was critical of Bristol, even more critical of Levi Johnston, and yet more critical of the way the story was handled by the "media strategy geniuses" who were busy doing what they do best, running the Republican Party off a cliff. There is a right way and a wrong way to handle a scandal in the New Media age, and Republicans haven't figured it out yet, because they're too busy paying gazillions of dollars to "media strategy geniuses" who never worked a day in the news business. But we digress . . .

Many of my conservative readers excoriated me for daring to criticize the Romeo and Juliet of Anchorage. But (a) that's just the way I roll, people, and (b) I know enough about 17-year-old boys to recognize Levi Johnston for what he is.

Yeah, big-deal hockey star, doin' the governor's daughter, braggin' to all his buddies about it. There was a reason, you see, that when the media flew up to Wasilla, every other person they talked to was telling them about Levi and Bristol. Because that's the kind of guy Levi Johnston is.

Dimwit losers like that are a dime a dozen.

But a conservative isn't supposed to say such things! Blame everything on the evil "media"! As I noted even before we knew Levi's last name:
Little Miss Attila refers to the press as "jackals" and "bottom-feeders." Hey, it's their job, OK? By this time tomorrow, you'll have Levi's full name and biography, you'll know how he met Bristol, etc., etc. You'll read it. You may feel guilty about reading it, but you'll read every word of it.
Will you be grateful to the reporters who dug up those facts? No. Some poor shmuck of a reporter is even now knocking on doors in Alaska, getting rude responses and threatening gestures, in order to satisfy your pathological curiosity, and you diss him as a "jackal." Fine. Don't read the story when Drudge puts a siren on it tomorrow.
But you will read it, won't you? So, who's really the bottom-feeding jackal here?
Facts are facts. Any journalist who is halfway intelligent and stays in the game a while will learn secrets he can never report, because you don't burn a source. You are always skeptical of "the story too good to be true," and so when I saw the Republican spinners portraying the fairy-tale romance of Levi and Bristol . . . well, I shut up.

Nobody wanted to hear my appraisal of the situation. I focused on other stories and just let the whole Levi and Bristol business go on to its sorry, and utterly predictable, denouement. None of the nice, respectable Republicans who were telling me not to criticize Levi back in September will ever say now, "Hey, you know something? He was right." And what did I tell you Feb. 5, 2008?
[John] McCain is not a conservative, he will lose in November . . .
I was right about that, too. A guy gets tired of being right all the time, and watching fools prosper.


  1. Hey,

    Mindless bag of hormones -- with an "e".

    You're welcome.

  2. Hey,

    Mindless bag of hormones -- with an "e".

    You're welcome.

  3. The real and pathetic issue here is not Levi or Bristol or abstinence or the muck-rakers. It is the total deterioration of the American political process to the point where this crap means something to someone while the nation collapses, capitalism is dismantled and the Constitution is gutted.

    What happened to a nation in which reasonably rational people could debate the issues without sound-biting, slime-throwing, name-calling...Ahhh, maybe I'm just mis-remembering my youth and it was never like that at all.

  4. Hormons, are those like Mormons? :)

  5. Dimwit losers like that are a dime a dozenAnd these days they are employed hosting "Today" and "60 Minutes".

  6. I work for a public housing agency, and most of the tenants are Bristol Palin ten years and two children later. And 98% of the dads are the biggest idiots around.

    When I first heard the news last year about Bristol Palin expecting a baby, and I heard that her boyfriend was a teenage hockey guy, I had him figured out right away. When I saw Levi at the Republican convention cleaned up, freshly shaven and wearing a suit, I wanted to puke. Dude may have fooled a few for a little while, but that's only because those nice, respectable Republicans were the same ones who had voted for McCain in the first place.

  7. Mmm...
    Zat voot be "Mindless Bag of Hormones" or "Mindless bag Of Whore Moans", oui?

    You wanna speaks zeh Eengleesh, you ask zeh Frenchie Tahps, oui? Duz yor dahg baht?

  8. Stacy, we love it when you make typos as it gives us a chance to mess with your mind! Hee hee hee! :)

    By the way, you can easily check on French genders and definitions at numerous online French-English dictionaries. I like this one:

  9. I don't know if it applies to Bristol, but the tendency of people to get into relationships with 'mindless' people as some sort of fix-it project is always sad.
    Has that ever actually worked in the long run?