Sunday, February 1, 2009

Thanks to the two Glenns

Y'know, I'm starting to wonder if maybe Glenn Greenwald is actually a sockpuppet created by Glenn Reynolds for the purpose of ginning up fantastic traffic with pass-the-popcorn flame-wars.

This suspicion was inspired by reflecting on my January traffic figures when, after three months of declining readership -- "Sarah Palin bikini pics" Google traffic began fading in October -- the SiteMeter bounced up to a respectable 117K visitors for January. The spike was largely due to the Gaza war between Reynolds and Greenwald.

You think the Gaza war was between the IDF and Hamas? That's what they want you to think.

In fact, Israel invaded Gaza merely to give Greenwald an excuse to scream "war crimes!" And let's face it: He doesn't need much excuse. He allegedly once demanded that the Hague investigate a particularly spirited field-hockey game between St. Elizabeth's Academy and Westfield Prep.

Some sources say "Glenn Greenwald" is actually a 52-year-old Republican housewife/real-estate broker in Connecticut named Janice Smythe whose hobby is over-the-top parodies of the sort of ACLU/Greenpeace twerp who still sports the faded remains of a Dukakis-Bentsen bumper sticker on his one-owner '87 Volvo. Smythe, an anti-Semitic homophobe, reportedly created "Greenwald" as a vicious satire of self-hating gay progressive Jews.

Or at least, so "sources say." My hunch is that these sources are lying, and that in fact Glenn Reynolds created "Greenwald" as a sort of strawman doppelganger, a convenient punching bag for his rhetorical jabs, who also functions as a clandestine pseudonym through which he collects a check from the putzes who run (How did I arrive at this startling conclusion? It was when Reynolds explained that he is actually Mycroft.)

So what you might be tempted to think is a brutal blood feud between Reynolds and Greenwald may be no more genuine than the 1980 Shea Stadium match between Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant.

Layers . . .

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