Monday, May 5, 2008

No. 1 Sign You Need To Get A Life

You're blogging about Battlestar Gallactica:

The first three seasons have been nothing short of storytelling genius. I can’t remember a time when a television show actually made me shout aloud in triumph as I did when the Pegasus swooped in, missiles blazing, to save the Galactica over New Caprica. . . . Watching the Galactica drop into the atmosphere to launch its vipers directly into the battle of New Caprica took my breath away
Dude. I'm sorry. "Storytelling genius?" It's a freaking sci-fi show on TV. It's about people and places that do not actually exist. Which is equally true of "C.S.I.," but at least the characters on "C.S.I." are similar to real human beings.

I mean, in real life, there are such things as police detectives and DNA lab technicians and forensic pathologists, who actually solve crimes with scientific techniques like those shown on "C.S.I." So watching "C.S.I." might be as much a waste of time as watching anything else on TV, but it at least bears some remote resemblance to reality.

"Battlestar Galactica," on the other hand, is a fantasy about things that have never existed and never will. It's been nearly 40 years since man first landed on the moon. Where are those fleets of high-tech spaceships swooshing off faster than light to explore other galaxies? Where's that roomy space station where people walk around normally, with no zero-gravity problem to worry about? And where, pray tell, are all those super-powerful laser weapons?

As fun as futuristic space fiction might have been in, say, 1954, we've seen enough by now to know that all that Buck Rogers crap is impossible. It hasn't happened, it's never going to happen and -- to anticipate your next objection -- we have no real evidence of the existence of parallel universes so, no, it's not happening there, either.

I blame this childish space-fantasy fixation on Jonah Goldberg, who was the first conservative blogger to get all giddy about his BSG fanboy shtick. It was cute for a while, maybe, but that was then and this is now.

Sorry to get all harsh on you, Jimmie, but it's time to move on. Let it go, man.

Just. Let. It. Go.

UPDATE: Jimmie replies; I respond with hyper-scoffing.


  1. Sorry to get all harsh on YOU, but in reality, the subject material you discuss as being relevant to "reality" is actually nonstop drivel, at least on the cosmic scale of REALITY, pertaining to microscropic bugs running around a lonely corner of a rather small water hole out in the middle of a barren desert, acting like each and every one of them matter, when in fact the cosmos, on the aforementioned whole, doesn't give a rat's ass about anything that ever happens to them. Most of those bugs slavishly go about their "business" of trying to figure out what other bugs did in some way, shape or form to still other bugs, so they can receive their daily point quotient toward being allowed to partake in a mostly-predetermined quantity of the bugs' slightly-longer-term food storage supplies.

    I believe the most significant representation of this entire concept was a quote given by Bill Watterson through his work Calvin & Hobbes, wherein he had Calvin state, plainly: "I'M SIGNIFICANT!!!!!! ...screamed the dust speck..."

    You want to put down the emotions experienced by science fiction and fantasy characters with talk about unrealistic environments? THIS environment that the incredibly idiotic species that calls itself "human" refers to as "Earth" is, by FAR, the most condusive ever found to the encouragement of delusions of relevance.

    Thank you for the offer of your time in getting pwned.

  2. One thing about science fiction you should know about..

    In the old Soviet Union.. It was one of the few forms of media that went relatively uncensored.. So the authors of would routinely write about the evils of an oppressive planet empire long into the future..

  3. What about Rule 5 blogging Erin Gray from Buck Rogers?