Monday, August 31, 2009

Occupation: Reality-TV Scumbag

Somebody convene a seance and ask Andy Warhol's ghost how he feels about this.

See, I'm working on a long essay that's sort of a follow-up to the previous pre-teen pole-dancer doll story -- evidently, girls have to start practicing earlier and earlier these days for their debut in Girls Gone Wild: Spring Break in Daytona -- and a question arose:
"What does Kourtney Kardashian's 26-year-old boyfriend Scott Disick do for a living?"
Ah, silly old-fashioned me . . . not what, but who. Which is to say, Disick is apparently a semi-pro gigolo:
"I'm not a rent-boy, but I play one on TV."
He is an untalented actor who seems to have made it through the cattle-call audition for the coveted role of "Reality TV Celebutante's Scumbag Boyfriend."

Soon to be appearing in a new role, "Reality TV Celebutante's Estranged Scumbag Baby-Daddy."

The genre of reality-TV being relatively new, who knows to what heights of untalented fame Scott Disick may yet rise? It's easy to imagine his IMDB filmography going forward:
  • 2011-12: Alienating the Kardashians (E!, 23 episodes)-- "Scumbag Baby-Daddy Getting One Last Chance With Reality TV Celebutante and Finally Getting Caught With the 19-Year Old Babysitter."
  • 2012: Suing the Kardashians (MTV, 6 episodes) -- "Scumbag Baby-Daddy Demanding 50 Percent of Realty-TV Royalties Paid to Illegitimate Son."
  • 2013: Counter-Sued by the Kardashians (TruTV, 4 episodes) -- "Scumbag Baby-Daddy Rather Rudely Reminded of 'Moral Turpitude' Clause in Original Contract."
  • 2014: Stalking the Kardashians (Spike, 9 episodes) -- "Has-Been Scumbag Repeatedly Violating Restraining Order."
  • 2015-16: Doing My Cellmate's Laundry (TruTV, 21 episodes) -- "Imprisoned Scumbag Pimped Out for a Carton of Newports."
  • 2017-18: Out On the Streets of the Castro (Bravo, 15 episodes) -- "Gay Ex-Convict Beginning New Career as San Francisco Sex Worker."
  • 2019: The Beard (Lifetime, 11 episodes) -- "Former Castro Sex Worker Pretending to Be Kathy Griffin's Scumbag Boyfriend."
Et cetera. Potentially a lucrative career. No wonder Levi Johnston is chasing his "Ricky Hollywood" dream.


  1. I guess this is a growth industry. Can it legitimately be claimed to be part of the Green Economy?

  2. There are more adds then content on this blog. I hope your father is not Joe McCain the dumb ass who called 911 asking why traffic was stopped on a bridge in Washington. Look it up now thats a real Einstine

  3. approval my last post is trashed haha

  4. Scott is a pimp

  5. scott tries to take on the role as spencer pratt accept spencer pratt laughs at himself an actually gives off some sort of essence. scott gives off nothing. and spencer labeled himself that. scott isnt creative or original in that he just wanted to be famous and a wanna-be socialite after he saw everyone else wanted to do that after paris hilton made it popular. scott is a wanna-be trustfund socialite who wants to be thought of us old money and be on reality shows and in tabloids and in writing he sounds like everyone else but scott doesnt pull it off well he actually takes himself way to seriously, is unoriginal, and cares too much if ppl think hes rich bc he isnt even that rich. he puts on airs. and he got kourtney pregnant for her money. hes a MOOCH...of a friend and of a boyfriend. hes immature

  6. what a douche Scott should go away before he turns Kourtneys baby into a replica of himself yuch he is nothing but a sperm donor pay him off and send him on his way.

  7. all of you commenters need to run spell check! EINSTEIN'S!!! LOL.