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"If I were magically given an hour to help Barack Obama prepare for his health care speech next week, the first thing I'd do is . . ."
-- David Brooks
Joe Biden also granted clemency to CCP communist spies and pedophiles
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These pardons, or “clemency” granted by Joe Biden shortly before his his
crackhead son a 10 year pardon aren’t getting
The post Joe Biden also granted cl...
16 hours ago
...offer to iron his pants.
ReplyDelete".. climb that mountain."
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, but the only think I can imagime David Brooks writing candidly involve grotesque and unspeakable sex acts.
ReplyDeleteAnd I hate you for forcing me to imagine them
....tell him to enjoy his vacation until 2012 (and please take Frum, Brooks and NM with him).
ReplyDelete...strap on those kneepads.
ReplyDeleteTake Kathleen Parker. Please. (apologies to Henny Youngman)
ReplyDeleteMake him old, ill, and British.
ReplyDelete"...meditate on his pant-crease, which positively evokes his inner-Niebuhr."
ReplyDelete...ask for his autograph.
ReplyDelete...ask him for three more wishes. Duh!
ReplyDelete...Okay, first... Ew! The first thing I'd do is David Brooks? Yikes.
ReplyDeleteBut seriously (or not)... the first thing I'd do is have the President list all the British, Canadian and Cuban health care providers he would prefer to the American team currently following him everywhere he goes.
The second thing I'd do is hand him a copy of the United States Constitution and ask him to point out the section that provides the President and/or the Congress with the power to legislate control over the heath care and insurance industries.
I think I'd have trouble filling out the other 59 minutes and 30 seconds of my hour.
Ask him what shade of lipstick he would like to put on this pig of a healthcare bill.
ReplyDeletePlay hoops for the remaining 59 minutes.
I would donate my time to him, hand him the phone and give him the number for Sarah Palin.
ReplyDeleteShe could help him, if she were so inclined.
Of course, that would 'make blood shoot from his eyes' (h/t Glenn Beck) but better he call her than she call him, doncha think?
If it were me instead of David, I'd tell him to burn that poo sandwich and spend the balance of the hour introducing him to that fine San Diego County brew, the beer he was born to drink, Stone Arrogant Bastard Ale.
ReplyDelete"If I were magically given an hour to help Barack Obama prepare for his health care speech next week, the first thing I'd do is make him magically delicious."
ReplyDeleteDavid Brooks, the Keynesian Elf
Mrs. Peperium
...apply my lip balm.
ReplyDelete...tweak my nipples to see if I'm dreaming.
...Ask him to reenact the JFK/JFK Jr. camelot picture with me.
..."Accidently" place my hand on his inner thigh and count how long it takes him to remove it.
...Drop a load in my pants.
David Brooks is earnest and respectable. Let's all praise David Brooks for how very earnest and respectable he is. He has earnest and respectable hair and an earnest and respectable suit. And we all know it's earnest and respectable for "conservative" columnists on the NY Times op-ed to make the welfare state purr along more efficiently.
ReplyDeleteJeffersonian
bend over and strip down, letting Obama read the Reinhold Niehbuhr quotations tramp stamped just above my very large buttocks, as he does just what Dear Leader has every right to do to those who only wish to serve.
ReplyDelete