Saturday, December 5, 2009

Roll, Tide, Roll!

It's the undefeated Alabama Crimson Tide vs. the University of Evil, featuring QB Tim Tebow. Video preview at

Despite their 12-0 record, 'Bama is the underdog in the SEC championship game on CBS. Even I, a fan so faithful that I have been known to break down in tears at the sound of the Alabama fight song, have little hope that the Tide can win today.

A 'Bama win would be a miracle, a sign from God, the college football equivalent of In Hoc Signo Vinces.

Politics pales in signficance when compared to the cosmic consequences at stake in this immortal conflict. But did I mention that Obama is rooting for the Gators?

Just sayin' . . .

UPDATE 7:35 p.m.: With less than 5 minutes left, Alabama leads 32-13. Pasadena, baby! Hit the tip jar!

UPDATE 7:55 p.m.: "Remember the Rose Bowl We'll Win Then!"

UPDATE 8:05 p.m.: Ladies and gentlemen, the University of Alabama Million Dollar Band!

Yea, Alabama! Drown 'em Tide!
Every 'Bama man's behind you,
Hit your stride.
Go teach the Bulldogs to behave,
Send the Yellow Jackets to a watery grave.
And if a man starts to weaken,
That's a shame!
For Bama's pluck and grit have
Writ her name in Crimson flame.
Fight on, fight on, fight on men!
Remember the Rose Bowl, we'll win then.
So roll on to victory,
Hit your stride,
You're Dixie's football pride, Crimson Tide!

UPDATE 8:30 p.m.: Carol at No Sheeples Here is also a 'Bama fan. Condolences to Doug at Daley Gator. Got to be a hard thing to watch your quarterback cry on national TV.

I just got off the phone with my older brother Kirby, who had a quadruple bypass two years ago. Kirby said, "I remembered to take my heart medication before the game this week. Last week at halftime of that Auburn game, I felt my chest start tightening up and said, 'Oh, crap, I forgot to take my medicine!'"

Victory is good for whatever ails you.

UPDATE 10:10 p.m.: A fellow Southerner sent me an e-mail reminiscing about the Bear Bryant era, when he attended college up north:
But in those days, my classmates were good guys, but Yankees. I'd spend the holidays in Philly with my friends, and watch The Bear battle Penn State and Notre Dame for the national championship (my classmates were also Catholic, and the Irish were their Boys).
I sent him back an e-mail message:
The Crimson Tide was to the South what Notre Dame was to Catholics.
Kind of makes you feel sorry for Notre Dame fans. One of these days they're going to die and go to heaven and be shocked to discover that God wears a houndstooth hat and smokes unfiltered Chesterfields.
Of course, being the merciful being he is, God won't ban them to Hell.
That's for Auburn fans.
If anyone wants to accuse me of anti-Auburnism, I plead guilty.


  1. Stacy, please don't taint my Alma Mater x2, and the place I hold an Adjunct Asst. Professorship by claiming the "anointed one" is wearing Orange & Blue today. If he is it's only in a blatant attempt to triangulate for electoral votes.

    If the Gators should pull this one out how 'bout we get Stacy on video doing a rendition of "We are the boys from old Florida?"

  2. Watched a Tim Allen movie last night titled "Big Trouble"
    It portrays Gator fans as cretins.

  3. Looks like God is smiling on you there, RSM.

    The Tide is doing a great job so far, but they still have about a quarter to hang on to this thing.

  4. De Jure the games not over' but De Facto its been over for 15 min. Tebow had probably his worst game. Fla will drop big after this. Good for Ala but such a one sided game is bad for Fla.
    No question which was the better team.
    You backed a winner this time Stacy.
    I hope youre backin Sarah!

    Rod Stanton
    cerritos, Cal

  5. Congrats! Now go beat the living Hell out of Texas! SEC! SEC! SEC!

  6. You knew it had to happen, the Sullivan/Johnson convergence, it was only a matter of time. From the mad king himself today (comment #86 on today's Spencer thread): "Without agreeing with Andrew Sullivan's weird obsession about Trig Palin, he is right about one thing: Palin lied about providing proof that Trig is her biological son. She didn't.

    I don't think she has to provide that proof, but it doesn't change the fact that when she said she did, it was a lie."

  7. GO nebraska, I can't wait for the tide to beat TCU!

    Roll Tide

  8. Kudos to the Tide.

    Your head coach is still Satan, but you outplayed us the entire game and deserve to play in the NCG.

    Just don't fuck it up, m'kay?


  9. So...that was a shocker! We're still #1 in academics anyway ;-) Only one thing to add...Keep it in the SEC! Roll Tide Roll!

  10. Fark headlined it this way:

    "Tebow may be able to walk on water, but he can not run on the Tide."

    That's gonna leave a mark.