Tuesday, May 19, 2009

EXCLUSIVE: Young GOP girl naked!

My confidential sources report via Twitter that veteran GOP New Media strategist Jon Henke was seen yesterday with a naked underage girl . . . when he became the father of a newborn daughter, Jordan Shannon Henke, who was born Monday at 1:45 p.m.

Sources close to this controversial development report that the young beauty weighed in at a healthy 7 pounds, 10 ounces, when she was born naked. If these reports are true, the underage Republican girl is one day old as of this minute. We await release of the shocking photos.

Hearty congratulations to Jon and to Mrs. Henke who, sources say, did all the hard work in this sex scandal.


  1. Now, see? Why doesn't Newsweek try something like that?

  2. And you notice, Paco, that I was careful to attribute this to my sources. I didn't want to be guilty of cut-and-paste plagiarism like Maureen Dowd. Because I have ethics, and would never mislead my readers.

  3. This is an atrocity. Giving all conservatives a bad name. The nerve of them, I mean have sex and all that icky stuff, and having a kid to boot.

    The horror. We are for sure to loose in 2010 and 2012 beacause of this scandal.

    Congratulations Jon and Mrs Henke

  4. Wow, another scandal rocks the GOP.

  5. Stacy - scandalous ambulance-chasing on your part again. Do you have no shame sir? Conservatives don't have sex, for you to suggest otherwise is an abomination....

  6. How are conservatives ever going to lead with their so-called "family image" with all this sex betraying its foundation?