Bikini News Roundup

Trying to make it through the long week between Rule 5 Sundays can drag you down. So we try to do what we can to keep hope alive.

Lindsay Lohan's Bahamas bikini gallery is the Eye Candy Link O' Th' Day over at Conservative Grapevine, where John Hawkins seems to have the same idea as me: Not only does Rule 5 boost traffic, but it's also a morale-booster for the troops in the war of ideas, like Bob Hope bringing Racquel Welch and Joey Heatherton along for the USO show in Saigon.

However, having recently been dubbed a "public intellectual," I now feel the obligation to provide insightful news commentary in every post, even the gratuitous babe-blogging posts. So, courtesy of Memeorandum (Rule 3!), Technorati (Rule 2!), NetRightNation, Hot Air Headlines and our blogroll, here's your daily roundup of insightful commentary:

• S.F. Schools adding Jimi Hendrix to the curriculum? (And unfortunately, Craig, I don't have a lot of '70s memories with a Hendrix soundtrack. I was mostly into Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd, and my memories of the '70s are few and fragmentary. A lot of fun, but not too many clear memories. Just Say No, kids.)
• Karl Rove: Chicago Politics at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. (Is it just me, or does Karl seem much smarter now that Republicans are out of power?)
• Steve Benen: Economic Illiterate, Moral Degenerate. (Don't mince words, Professor Douglas.)
• Obama's Emergency Economic Stabilization Act of 2008 is unconstitutional. (Greg knows how to rock a FMJRA for all it's worth.)
• What Obama Meant by "Change." (Hmmm. I thought he meant we'd be looking behind our sofa cushions for change. Or rattling the tip jar.)
• Harry Reid, April Fool of the Year. (New depths of Rule 2 shamelessness.)
• Is Harold Koh being Borked? (I knew Professor Jacobson had been 'Lanched because I started getting traffic off his blogroll link to me.)
• Genetic influence in age of virginity loss. (Via Instapundit & Future Pundit. I'm thinking the key factor is the sexiness gene, which determines whether you can rock a Speedo -- this being a very elite category of public intellectuals. Would you want to see Ross Douthat in a Speedo?)
• Michelle Obama touched the Queen! (Well, if she can touch Barney Frank . . .)
• Suzanna Logan ponders "Orgasmic Meditation." (Putting the "O" in OMG.)
• It's Not Volunteering If You're Getting Paid! (Mary Jo Kopechne could not be reached for comment.)
• Yes, ACORN does get federal tax money. (A little more vodka, Steve, or else you might turn into a "public intellectual" like me.)
• Miss Universe CENSORED! (But they can't take away her sexiness gene.)
• "If you're going to take Vienna, take Vienna." (Any blogger who quotes Napoleon is a public intellectual in my book.)
• Mark Krikorian goes to Alabama. (Seeking mediation advice from Suzanna Logan, perhaps?)
• "Whoever liberals attack the most is who they fear the most." (Carve it in stone, Dan.)
• UMd. to show hard-core porn film. (Unfortunately, it's not the classic Naughty Nurses IV.)
• "Abortion is a blessing." (To quote Vladimir Ilyich Lenin, "Who, Whom?")
• "I know a lot of journalists these days who are wishing they'd gone into something steady, like moving to Detroit and becoming autoworkers." (Or community organizers.)
• 19-year-old scores hat trick for U.S. soccer team in World Cup. (OK, it was against Trinidad & Tobago, but still . . .)
• "Palin sells. Publish photos of the governor, and you’ll see your hits increase significantly." (To quote a well-known public intellectual: "Well, duh.")
• Simon Buckner's family recipe for mint juleps. (I believe the appropriate toast is: "Deo Vindice!")
• A quick blog methodology note for Dad 29: You would get more traffic if you took the quotes out of your banner and put them on your sidebar instead. Why? Because if your banner is too deep, then when people click over with a smaller window (and I use smaller windows for browsing) all they see initially is that deep banner full of quotes. It's important that the new arrival to your blog be able to see the new content as soon as he clicks.
• Pundette wants to move into Al Gore's mansion? (She's the only blogger I know who has contributed more than me to global overpopulation. It's probably that sexiness gene.)
• Time to grow your own? (Tobacco, that is.)
• Carl Cameron to be played by . . . Christopher Walken? (No snark necessary.)
• Chris Matthews, Mail-Order Douchebag.
• Light Bulbs & Quickie Marriages, Oh, My!
• A certain LBJ-esque quality to Obama's Afghan "strategery"?
• I'm sure there's a legitimate reason why Richard Spencer's Picasa album includes a photo of Betty Page being spanked with a hairbrush.

Please note that this collection of insightful news commentary will be extended continually throughout the day, so you should refresh often. (I'm working on another project today and don't have time to create separate original posts.) So you now have the perfect excuse, guys. When your boss asks you why you're looking at Lindsay Lohan's boobs every time he walks past your cubicle, just say, "This is insightful news commentary by a public intellectual!"