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Officials said the death toll could rise to more than 70, a grim and dramatic reminder that Pakistan, a Muslim nation of 160 million that shares a porous 1,500-mile border with Afghanistan, has not been able to quell terrorist attacks despite the efforts of a large professional army and other security forces.Your assignment is to edit it into two or more concise sentences, eliminating the gaudy and unnecessary phrase, "a grim and dramatic reminder."
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One of the arguments I’ve been making over the past few years is that
nobody should be surprised at the level of deceit, double dealing and
corruption in t...
3 hours ago
I thought about just writing "Muslims. Dead people. Any questions?" However, that probably doesn't meet the rules.
ReplyDeleteHere's my entry.
Officials said the death toll could exceed 70.
Pakistan, a Muslim nation, has been unable or unwilling to quell terrorist attacks.
The example serves as a grim and dramatic reminder of other editorial problems at WaPo.
ReplyDeletePakistan says another unpreventable mosque suicide bombing, which killed up to 70 or more, has occurred on its border with Afghanistan.
ReplyDelete"The 1,500-mile border between Pakistan and Afghanistan is notably porous. Officials said the death toll, despite the efforts of Pakistan's large professional army and other security forces, could rise to more than 70."
ReplyDeleteThis puts the explanation - border porosity - up front, and makes no other judgment calls.
Now that the General War on Terror has been downgraded to an Overseas Contingency Operation, Pakistanis should resign themselves to being blown up.
ReplyDeleteWell, that sentence could just be: "Officials said the death toll could rise to more than 70." They already went on and on about how dangerous it is there and gave examples of other recent attacks.
ReplyDelete"As many as seventy dead in Pakistan killed by a suicide bomber. The downtrodden and misunderstood bomber was part of the freedom fighting movement started to remove the imperialistic tyranny of the United States.
ReplyDeleteSouls of the departed were carried to the 72 Virgins by flight of the Obamaessiah and his glorious ears.
The 1500 mile border, shared with Afghanistan, was easily traversed by the One. The Great Leader used his Neo like powers of persuasion to quell the hardened hearts of Taliban moderates in Tora Bora.
All of this, despite the efforts of dead-heads..er..the military and blood thirsty killers...er...private contractors getting in the way."
Sorry my narrative required way more than two sentences. I released my inner yapping Liberal.
Pakistani officials said the death toll could rise to more than 70, When asked about the continuing ineffectiveness of Pakistani military and security units in policing the porous 1,500 mile border with Afghanistan, the official stared off into the middle distance and mumbled something about "those crazy, hopped-up tribal bastards up in the territories don't know what borders are. All they know about is killing, beating their women and f**king goats. They wouldn't know a border if it hit them upside the head."
ReplyDelete"Officials said the death toll could rise to more than 70 in Pakistan, which shares a porous 1,500 mile border with Afghanistan. It has failed to quell terrorist attacks despite the efforts of a large professional army and other security forces."
ReplyDeleteThat dash between 1500 and mile had to go. Surely it's a given at this point that this shit is happening in a Muslim part of the world, but if they just insist on treating their readers like morons, the info needs to go elsewhere.