Monday, September 7, 2009

Experts get me off the hook

Vindication, at last! Mrs. Other McCain will be pleased to see the latest scientific study proving that most women have never had sex with me.

(Hat-tip: NewsAlert.)

UPDATE: A not entirely unrelated development: Who is Dita Von Teese, and why is she nearly naked?

UPDATE II: More scientific experts:
[W]omen have sex for many reasons but romance and passion come rather low on the list, a new book has revealed.
"Research has shown most men find most women at least somewhat sexually attractive, whereas most women do not find most men sexually attractive at all," Why Women Have Sex authors Cindy Meston and David Buss said.
One said she did it for a spiritual experience, proclaiming: "It's the closest thing to God."
That was my wife's answer . . .

Hat-tip to Allah, who is an atheist. What does an atheist woman scream during the throes of passion?

"Oh, science!"

6 comments:

  1. I'm surprised all the "if you don't get your pardner to orgasm, then you're a lousey lover" folks allowed this one out.

    How can feminists have sex now if the males can't be made to feel guilty? What would be the point?

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  2. I know for a fact that female orgasm is just a myth anyways- no woman I've ever been with has ever had one!

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  3. After reading about the invective directed (again) at the Duggars, and then this, I would just like to say to all those sexually repressed, perhaps even frigid, judgemental liberal women out there, my wife of six children not only has no problems in this department, and is not suffering through painful sex out of some religiously inspired delusion, but is so much the opposite that the words "multi-" and "every time" come to mind. So, in addition to hating her for being a tall, slender, busty, religiously devout woman who not only has six kids but loves them so much she homeschools them, you can hate her because she hasn't got a repressed, uptight bone in her luscious body.

    Inspired by Stacy, maybe the Duggars are just really, really good at it? Wouldn't that make the lefties even more sick?

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  4. "Oh science"? NAWWW.

    More like "Oh my [primordial ooze].

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