Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Because I'm SUPREME!

My friend Chris Muir celebrates my 50th birthday with an altogether natural joke about my growing reputation as the blogospheric Brabantio. You can click the image to see the rest.

It's a free country, and people are entitled to believe what they want. And they are even entitled to write what they want -- even if what they write is wrong. Of course, as they say, you shouldn't shout "fire" in a crowded theatre, although I don't know if the Supreme Court has yet ruled on whether you have the right to shout "miscegenation" in a crowded Alabama.

OK, there I go again -- joking about something that should only be addressed seriously, such as Rachel Maddow's dream of becoming Mrs. Jason Mattera. (Remember, Rachel: Once you've had Puerto Rican, you never go back. Just ask Suzanna Logan.)

If you're under 40, you might not believe it, but people used to be able to joke about stuff like this. Before political correctness, Mel Brooks made Blazing Saddles -- "It's twue! It's twue!" -- and there were no thought police taking down notes of who laughed at the jokes. When I was in college, we laughed at Animal House -- "Mind if we dance with your dates?" -- without realizing we were violating anyone's civil rights.

Given the choice between Mel Brooks and David Brooks, who do you trust? And would you rather watch Animal House or Michael Moore's latest flop? (Hint: Which one has a topless pillow-fight scene?)

At least since third grade, my class-clown tendency to treat everything as a set-up for a punchline has been getting me into trouble. Because I am altogether naturally so facetious and sarcastic, when I actually try to get serious, people become confused. "Uh . . . heh heh . . . you're joking, right?"

Well, as I always say, the key to success is sincerity -- once you learn to fake that, the rest is easy. The altogether natural response to accusations of prejudice is to say, "Hey, wait a minute -- some of my best friends are macacas!"

Had I been advising Sen. George Allen in 2006, that might have been his official response to the smears against him, and maybe he'd still be Senator, instead of James Webb, a notorious neo-Confederate. (NTTAWWT.)

Did anyone ever credibly suggest that George Allen was prejudiced against Indian-Americans? Does George Allen recoil in horror at being introduced to Dinesh D'Souza or Ramesh Ponnuru? Did George Allen ever support any policy that might be considered discriminatory against the many South Asian immigrants and their offspring who are now proud citizens of the Old Dominion?

The implied accusation of MacacaGate -- i.e., that Senator Allen's joking reference to Democratic activist S.R. Sidarth was evidence of prejudice -- was fundamentally false, so exactly what was accomplished by the senator's subsequently disastrous Apology Tour? (Fact: In 2007, I interviewed a leader of the Virginia division of the Sons of Confederate Veterans, who explained that he and many of his comrades enthusiastically supported Webb's campaign.)

God gives us enemies for a reason, and He chastises those He loves. Israel was enslaved by the Egyptians, conquered by the Assyrians, Babylonians and Romans -- did this signify God's blessing of Israel's conquerers? God's chosen people were dispersed to the four corners of the earth after the destruction of the Temple. They were despised, oppressed and persecuted.

Had Genesis 12:3 been repealed? God forbid! For somewhere in all this misery and suffering, the Lord of Hosts had a purpose and a meaning. Yet we see through a glass, darkly, and like Job's doubting wife, many will counsel us to "curse God and die." However, we know that the very name Israel can be translated "he who overcomes."

When an inveterate joker begins to speak seriously, people become frightened: "Are you OK, McCain? Have you been getting your rest? Taking your meds?"

Don't worry, folks. I'm just fine and dandy today. As Nurse Madeleine Ochoa might say, "Affect: Bright. Mood: Expansive." It's my 50th birthday, I was denounced on "Meet the Press" Sunday and I was libeled yesterday by a syphilitic poofter. All because the Left has it in for Sarah Palin and her new bestselling memoir Going Rogue.

As my faithful accomplice Smitty has reminded us today, the occasion of his gaining co-blogger status was an event at the Heritage Foundation. Gee, I wonder what Ginny Thomas must think about all this? Do you suppose Mrs. Thomas has any reason to trust the things that liberals say about conservatives? Or do you think that perhaps Mrs. Thomas would be more inclined to trust the judgment of such of our mutual friends as Kate Obenshain, Ron Robinson and Ward Connerly?

People know me, and the people who know me will tell you one thing about me: That dude's crazy. So if worse comes to worse, I can always plead insanity.

It's my birthday -- you're welcome to hit the tip jar, you ungrateful b*stards -- and there's no need to belabor the obvious any further. However, if you'll read through Smitty's post from this morning, you'll notice the photo of my inscription on the title page of Donkey Cons. As always, below my signature, I included the citation to a Bible verse:

Seest though a man diligent in his work? He shall stand before kings, and his place shall not be among ordinary men.
-- Proverbs 22:29

Claim the promise, as they say. Step out on faith. If you doubt the promise, go to Christ Church in Philadelphia and see the grave of "Benjamin Franklin, Printer."

Shama-lama-ding-dong, baby!


  1. Happy Anniversary, Ya ol' Goat! ;-P

    A song fer ya:


  2. I love how out of all the honest fights they could have picked with you, they chose the one not even slightly grounded in reality.

    Which to them, I suppose, makes it all the easier to win.

  3. Congrats on reaching the big 5-0. I'm having a party on mine (2 years from now). You're invited. :)

  4. Happy Birthday! Hope it's the best one yet!

  5. Why would Terry hang out with nerds like Jimbo and Jerry?

  6. Happy Happy! And many m o o o o r r r e!!

  7. Happy Birthday, old man. Here's hoping it's first class.

  8. Happy Birthday - what a blessing to have the family that you have, and I hope things just get better for you.

  9. If a girl pops out of the cake at your party, hope it's not Rachel Maddow.

  10. Happy Birthday Stacy....all of us conservative blogger chicks think you're just dreamy....
    Super OLD but still dreamy....heh.
    And in all honesty ,you may be as old as dirt but that makes me, at 53, as old as the hills. Welcome to the club......it's not exclusive and we may not always remember who you are. After fifty you just start dropping files you know?
    What was I saying again?

  11. Happy Birthday, from a fellow God-bothering, neo-Confederate, moonshine swillin', dobro-pluckin' teabagger!

  12. There is a divine purpose in the adversaries we encounter every day. They prepare, they purge, they purify, and thus they bless. May God continue to bless you for many happy years!

  13. Happy birthday Stacy. Since 50 is the new 40, happy 40th!

  14. Happy Birthday! Its my birthday too! (Honestly). Love the old school band picture! Whose the non-white guy? I thought you were racist??? Photoshop huh? :-)

  15. Happy Birthday R S McCain. And many more!

  16. Pfft! I hit my teens by the time you were born. Yer still a baby.

  17. ha you are nothing until you reach the perfect 10... 55 = 5+5=10

  18. Ah, just in time for your birthday, I have prepared for you, Stacy McCain, for all that you do this very special present. I have dedicated to you my fresh magnum opus, written upon this day of days, entitled:

    The Eternal Banality of the Photography of Charles Foster Johnson


    AKA: The Eternal Banality of the Photography of Charles Foster Johnson @ AMERICAN DIGEST

  19. Happy Birthday Stacy and I agree Natural is better than Plastiboobs. Regardless of size. And one more thing. You married way above your pay grade.

  20. С днём рождения!

  21. Happy Half-Century Stacy! Vanderleun's tribute makes us all glad you were born.

  22. Happy Birthday! You really made that mullet work for you.

  23. I have never been to this blog, but I know you have royally angered Charles and Kilgore Trout, and I think they are pretty dishonest about racism.

    I think I owe you at least a week of reading your blog to see what you're up to that so angers those monsters, as I've never seen it convincingly argued that you're actually a white supremacist.

    If you are a bigot, then I'm not a fan, but if you aren't, then thanks for weathering the storm and Happy Birthday!