Monday, October 5, 2009

A Mission for Jason Mattera . . .

That is, if you think you could handle this mission:

Not, that's not Hannah Giles. Lindsay Lohan says she's a lesbian, but I heard she broke up with her girlfriend, and when I saw this linked at Conservative Grapevine, it occurred to me that you're splitsville with Suzanna Logan now, so . . .

C'mon, Big Sexy. "Win one for the Gipper," eh?

Once you've got Lindsay wrapped, your next assignment . . . Well, let's just say a little birdy at 30 Rock tells me that someone's been doodling in her notebook like a sixth-grade schoolgirl.

Mrs. Jason Mattera
R. M. Mattera
Rachel Mattera
Rachel M. Mattera
Rachel Maddow-Mattera . . .


Show her some of that Brooklyn action, old buddy. IYKWIMAITYD. Because, as everybody knows, once they've had Puerto Rican, they never go back.

8 comments:

  1. When I see posts like this one, I am convinced that your wife is a saint.

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  2. Stacy, that's just gross...

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  3. Stinky said...
    When I see posts like this one, I am convinced that your wife is a saint.

    Which is the entire point, Stinky: To convince the world of the (Protestant) sainthiood of Mrs. Other McCain. Plus, if I can double-dog-dare Mattera into making a play for Rachel Maddow, this will serve him right for cheating me out of the time and effort Stephen Gordon wasted promoting the Jello-wrestling match between Suzanna and Monique, before he punked out.

    Never trust a Republican from Brooklyn.

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  4. Yikes if that is really Lohan, she's got serious sun damage ALREADY.

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  5. "Win one for the Gipper, eh?" More like 'take one for the team. Yurrrrrrgh.

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  6. If that was the body of a 55 year old woman I'd say: hey pretty damn good for her age, but on such a young gal....man...

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  7. Bob, I'd hit it, but I doubt La Lohan is interested in a man of my...experience. Yeah, that's it, experience.

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  8. Wombat: She's 'Come From The Ice' Irish; she'd make you bring the blow.

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