Sunday, October 4, 2009

Alan Colmes: Could you miss the point by a wider margin?

by Smitty

Alan Colmes has a stomach turner of a post: "Would Jesus Like Today’s GOP?"

From a collective noun point of view, I submit that Jesus wouldn't have cared about the GOP. Jesus was entirely a-political, from the time he preached a Sermon on the Mount that had zero political content, to the time he essentially refused to engage the Sanhedrin and Pontius Pilate before the crucifixion.

From an individual point of view, Jesus cares for every member of the GOP, everyone on the left, the readers of this post, and me.

I request that everyone sit down with a cuppa their favorite warm beverage and actually READ what Jesus had to say in the Gospels prior to attempting to enlist the Christ to support any viewpoint on any particular issue.

While Christ, and therefore His actual followers, are not going to engage in explosive landscaping near you as result of your silliness, Alan, you are on notice that this is a Party Foul.

Argue your point from a simple ethical base, and cease missing the point of the Christ, please.

UPDATE (RSM): Just saw this via Memeorandum -- why bother actually reading your own blog? -- and wanted to say that whenever I want advice about Jesus, Alan Colmes is the man whose advice I seek.

We're like this, me and Alan. Old buddies from way back. One of the finest Christians I've ever known. So I hope Rachel Maddow will book good ol' Al on her show, because he's such a dear friend of mine and Lynn Vincent's.


  1. Liberals often see themselves as more caring and compassionate. They toss out idiotic statements like " Conservatives only car about babies until they are born" yada yada. But of course they are wrong. I have a message for the left. Holding hands while singing John Lennon songs may make you feel good about yourself but it helps nobody. Christian Evangelical missionarys are in every corner of this planet helping someone. Christian Churches send thousands to Africa to help the poor. How many people does the NAACP send? Or the Black Caucus?

  2. Well, how many of us on the Right have ever been tempted to dunk him in urine?

    You'd suppose that he'd appreciate a thing like that.

  3. I don't know about Mr. Colmes, but it is often amusing to hear liberals who have never darkened the door of a church try to argue Christian theology or what "Jesus would have done" based on an accidental and momentary contact with a verse of scripture.

  4. Andrew Sullivan* finds God (or possibly Viagra):

    I recall one marathon twelve-hour session of passion many years ago now. It was only afterwards that I realized I had barely had a single trace of an analytic thought for the longest period I could then remember. I was never happier. As I finally collapsed into my lover's arms with the final orgasm that drained every last drop of desire or need from my body and soul, I understood for the first time why the French call coming "le petit mort". It can be the emptying of self entirely. Which is why sex is so close at times to the presence of the divine, and reflects and incarnates God in ways few other things can so easily. We are more animal and more divine in sex than in any other activity.

    *Warning: Some people have experienced nausea and vomiting after reading about Andrew Sullivan's sex life.

  5. Ah ha!! Alan Colmes is a white supremicist! I knew it!

  6. Liberals amuse me when they pull out the Jesus talk. I've read the Bible a few times and never noticed where Jesus said to lobby Caesar to take money from neighbor A via taxes to give to neighbor B.

    I think Jesus is glad that the GOP doesn't support the crushing and dismembering of innocent human beings -- aka "the least of these."

    Jesus was also close-minded and intolerant about sexual behavior and marriage:

    100% of the verses addressing homosexual behavior denounce it as sin in the clearest and strongest possible terms.

    100% of the verses referencing God’s ideal for marriage involve one man and one woman.

    100% of the verses referencing parenting involve moms and dads with unique roles (or at least a set of male and female parents guiding the children).

    0% of 31,173 Bible verses refer to homosexual behavior in a positive or even benign way or even hint at the acceptability of homosexual unions.

    Since Jesus is God I think I'll stick with him.

  7. "Christian Churches send thousands to Africa to help the poor. How many people does the NAACP send? Or the Black Caucus?"

    You see, what's great about people like buzz52490 is that the more you let them talk, the more they reveal about themselves. To assert the lie that Christian Churches send thousands to Africa to supposedly help( the truth being that they send thousands to proselytise Africans) and then to bring in the NAACP or the Black Caucus into this doesn't make much sense, unless one was trying to inject a racial dig into the conversation. Be careful buzz, your whit hood is showing...
    Let's face it, Jesus would not approve of the GOP.It is a perfectly valid hypothetical considering that supposed followers of Jesus tend to identify themselves as Conservatives. Why not refute the question with solid arguments instead of dancing around it?

  8. Let me get this straight. Alan Combes, who is Jewish, insults Christians by mocking Jesus Christ, who Jews do not consider the Messiah, and nobody thinks there is even a little bit of hatred in that? Oh, ok. Right.

    Yet Ann Coulter says the obvious about what Christians do believe in and all hell breaks loose. Oh, OK. Right.

    I don't care. I'm an atheist who thinks you're all stupid. I just wonder why Christians are so comfortable being insulted all the time by people who hate you for being you.

    It's almost like being, I don't know, an American who thinks we asked for 9/11.

  9. Matthew 19:21
    Luke 12:33
    Acts 2:45
    Acts 4:34-35 (whence enters Western culture the phrase "to each according to need")

    Jesus was a commie!

  10. Jesus is a royalist. And somebody really should explain to Y4E that that bucket of green lead paint is not a Shamrock Shake.