International Rule 5 BikiniFest--Round 1

by Smitty

The Powers that Beep have declared that this week is International Rule 5 BikiniFest Week. It's Summer, and you should be taking sand breaks in between refreshes of this blog.

Kicked out of the hammock here at Porch Manqué HQ, then, it becomes our toil, our raisin' debt, to conduct a critical, scientific, methodical review of the links proferred. Little Miss Attila, she whom ye offend at your peril, thoughtfully sent over a fellow on the subway nearly half as handsome as us to assist in the judging.

In the modern spirit of identity politics, we're going to throw a dart at a piece of paper tacked up on the side of the house to assign a rating to each photo: G, PG, PG-13. This is a family-friendly blog: if you're out for anything racier, you probably know where to go.

• Chance, at rightofcourse, takes us to the edge of accepability, with a PG-13 offering.


• The Eye of Polyphemus may be batting .500 in the ocular department, but he picks them well with a PG Kristin Chenoweth.


• The Camp of the Saints goes retro Posh with a PG Jane Mansfield.


• Chris Wysocki doubles his bet on rated G Stepahnie Seymour.


• Unintended participant Vodkapundit has, I think, a PG-13 Elle McPherson.


• Bill's Idle Mind guards the acceptable edge of entries.

The sample space is small, Little Miss Attila's assistant judge is too hung over, and the Porch Manqué is still shaking off King Lear.

Round one goes to Unintended Participant Gateway Pundit, for Aya Ali al-Mulla. Now, you punks: get out there and round up some serious, thoughtful, well-engineered bikinis for me.

There is a Cosmic Winner I have in mind, and we'll be dropping some obscure hints, for example: she made a movie this decade.

Send your links to Smitty, and let's get this party going.

Update:
Forgot the board-flippin' video! Your indulgence is sought: