Saturday, July 11, 2009

Why has no Republican senator
ever grabbed my thigh?

If only I had a New York Times column!

Apparently, it's commonplace for New York Times columnists to be groped by middle-aged Republicans, but David Brooks doesn't kiss and tell:
O’DONNELL: What, what’s happened?
BROOKS: You know, all three of us spend a lot of time covering politicians and I don’t know about you guys, but in my view, they’re all emotional freaks of one sort or another. They’re guaranteed to invade your personal space, touch you. I sat next to a Republican senator once at dinner and he had his hand on my inner thigh the whole time. I was like, ehh, get me out of here.
BROOKS: I can only imagine what happens to you guys.
O’DONNELL: Sorry, who was that?
BROOKS: I’m not telling you, I’m not telling you. But so, a lot of them spend so much time needing people’s love and yet they are shooting upwards their whole life, they’re not that great in normal human relationships. And so, they’re like freaks, they don’t know how to, they’re lonely. They reach out. I’ve spoken to a lot of young women who are Senate staffers and they’ll have these middle age guys who are sort of in the middle of a mid-life crisis. Emotionally needy, they don’t know how to do it and sort of like these St. Bernards drooling everywhere. And you find a lot of this happens in mid-life and among very powerful people who are extremely lonely.
O’DONNELL: Can I ask one other question David? Do you think, what about female or women politicians? Are they dignified and are there examples of when they have not? Or does it tend to be the men who less dignified?
BROOKS: Yeah, I think that’s mostly a matter of genetics. I do think that…I do think there’s loneliness.
O’DONNELL: That was just a softball, David, and you really hit it very well.
BROOKS: Yeah, I wish I could think of sort of St. Bernards, sloppy women who are licking their aides, but but no, I can’t think of any.
HARWOOD: I’m not going there.
O’DONNELL: Did you have a couple drinks at lunch, David? I mean, this is clearly.
BROOKS: No, you’ve hit me…I’m trying not to be too dignified and stuffy.
O’DONNELL: Well, David Brooks as always, thank you very much. That was a lot of fun. You may not have gotten best column of the week, but you got best appearance of the week, certainly.
If you're going to throw it out there like that, you should at least give us a hint. Otherwise, we'll all just assume it's Lindsay Graham.


  1. I was thinking Vitter or Craig myself.

    Brooks didn't complain when it was the Democrat Senator who was grasping the inside of his leg, however.

  2. This is more than just a little weird. It's not just thigh -- it's "inner thigh." Who would just sit through that? Someone's needy alright.

  3. 1. Republicans are such depraved bullies that they commonly and lengthily grope middle-aged, unattractive columnists.

    2. One Middle-aged columnists is such a pussie that he allowed the extended groping.

    We'd have to buy both of those statements to believe he's telling the truth. I only accept one of them.

  4. To be fair to Mr. Brooks, a Republican senator once tried to grab my thigh. Then he realized it wasn't my thigh and got intimidated.

    Chuck Norris had the same problem.

  5. I suggest the senator had heard the rumors about David and decided to check for himself whether the poor man actually did have no testicles.

  6. Think about it. Would you sit at some public venue, or anywhere, and let some other man grope your 'inner' thigh? This is far more revealing about Brooks than about anyone else.
    Brooks must be the most pathetic wimp, suck up imaginable. No wonder he's a democrat loving, card carrying member of the Nina Burleigh media. C'mon David, climb out from under Obama's desk and grow a pair.

  7. Thankfully Brooks declined to tell us where the Deomcrat Senator's hand resides.

    Sock puppet indeed.

  8. Because they're afraid of the Mrs. Other McCain.