Celebrity Update

Haven't done one of these in a couple of weeks, so here is all the sleazy tabloid trash:

• Olsen Twins' Halloween costumes are quite nearly their birthday suits. (And somebody's got way-too-obvious implants.)
• Elizabeth Hasselbeck gets death threats. They hate her for her freedom.
• Lesbian Celebrity I: Melissa Etheridge gets all political about Proposition 8. Boring.
• Lesbian Celebrity II: Lindsay Lohan is "being controlled by this . . . wretched woman," says the beyond-wretched Joe Francis.
• Brad & Angelina require at least six nannies. Hollywood celebrities hire Salvadoran immigrants to raise babies from Cambodia, Ethiopia and Vietnam -- only in America!
• David Beckham checking out the Lakerettes.
• Details of the premarital agreement Madonna foisted on Guy What's-His-Name, the British guy who's now divorcing the washed-up old bat.
• Some thug rapper you never heard of is able to vote, despite being a convicted felon facing prison for violating federal law by illegally attempting to purchase machine guns.