Pasadena, Here I Come!

Just booked my flight to cover next week's BCS Championship Game between the No. 1 Alabama Crimson Tide and whatever second-rate outfit they've scheduled as 'Bama's opponent at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena.

My request for media credentials is still being processed, but I'm sure Gina and Stephanie in the Rose Bowl press relations office will understand the publicity value of my presence at this event, providing neutral objective coverage of the Tide's glorious triumph.

Talked to Donald Douglas of American Power blog about my travel plans, and I understand Little Miss Attila may also be interested in hanging out in Pasadena next week. I haven't booked a hotel yet, so L.A.-area readers interested in having a notorious blogger sleep on your sofa should be sure to drop me an e-mail.

UPDATE: The Tide will be practicing at Orange Coast College in Costa Mesa, which is 52 miles from the Burbank Airport, a 2-hour drive in traffic. So figuring 100 miles round-trip at 20 cents per mile, that's $20 for me to go hang out with the team (and the cheerleaders).

That doesn't include the $7 pack of smokes and coffee (4 cups at $2 per cup = $8) I'll consume on that trip, not to mention $55 a day for a rental car. Just called a hotel in Costa Mesa, and it's $139.40 (including tax) for one night. So if you haven't hit the tip jar yet, here's your chance. Roll Tide!

Seasonal Traffic Suckage Syndrome leads to Shameless Tip-Jar Rattling Disorder

One of the obvious reasons for doing the changeover to the WordPress site during the holidays is that blog traffic sucks this time of year, so time spent on the changeover doesn't really subtract from the overall blog ecology. What's the point of doing a dozen posts on Christmas Day, if nobody's reading it anyway?

For similar reasons, some bloggers don't blog much on weekends -- when blog readership decreases by 30% or more -- but we've never really observed that custom here. Smitty reports that a relative paucity of Rule 2 linkage made for a much shorter FMJRA this week, which is to be expected, although we hope there won't be a similar shortage of babe-blogging for Rule 5 Sunday.

One of the things about Seasonal Traffic Suckage Syndrome (STSS) is not to take it personally. Traffic here is demonstrably down for December -- currently about 160K visits for the month, after four consecutive months of >220K -- but when compared year-to-year, we've gained about 80% over December 2008. And so you have to have a certain amount of perspective when you realize that on Christmas Day we recorded our worst weekday traffic in recent memory.

Because routine headline+link+snark formula blogging would be kind of a waste of time during the holidays, I've taken advantage of the situation to do some long-form stuff. First there was "Don't Fear the People," a retrospective on my coverage of the populist grassroots revival -- the first substantive post at the new site -- and then there was today's post about Washington's Christmas crossing of the Delaware.

Another thing to do during periods of slow traffic is to blog about totally silly stuff, like the Christmas Day arrest of celebrity scumbag Charlie Sheen. Why not? Do you really expect us to constantly monitor Memeorandum for the latest breaking news on the Nigerian terrorist? On a day when we're averaging less than 200 visits an hour?

Let's face it: We could post a completely random photo of an impressively endowed chubby chick -- hey, more to love -- and not get any complaints, because nobody's reading us this weekend anyway. (Folks, don't worry that we're corrupting your kids. If your teenage son got a computer for Christmas, do you really think he'll be cruising political blogs for chubbettes?)

Would a serious political commentator -- say, for example, Dan Collins -- link something so irresponsibly exploitative as a post with photos of random topless fat chicks? Of course he would. Because at least it's fun, and if traffic sucks anyway, you might as well have fun.

However, there are more useful things bloggers can do with the readerless holiday hours when we're afflicted with Seasonal Traffic Suckage Syndrome (STSS). Therefore, while Smitty toils away on the technical geekery of the WordPress changeover, I've been writing thank-you e-mails to the tip-jar hitters.

We're about halfway to our $2,000 goal for the Pasadena trip, which was a double-dog-dare-ya scheme promoted by Dan Collins. As I said at the time, I didn't think I could possibly rattle the tip-jar hard enough to make this trip happen and yet . . .

Well, as of yesterday, 34 people had hit the tip jar for an average of $30 each during December. And today I got a Christmas card from Barbara Espinosa of American Freedom blog, with a gift incentive for the trip. I checked Travelocity and can make a flight to LAX departing next weekend for about $450 if I booked it today.

Mrs. Other McCain is, of course, worried about the bills. If I make this trip, will it clear enough cash to break even and still pay the bills? Does that 1990 photo of Mrs. Other McCain looking hot in her bikini encourage you to ease her mind with an extra $10 or $20? Would you rather see more photos of fat chicks? Is anybody actually reading this?

The point is, I can roll either way: Fat chicks, celebrity scumbags, historical inspiration, or up-to-the minute breaking news about John Kerry and other terrorists. But I don't want to have to choose between (a) paying the bills and (b) going to Pasadena to provide neutral, objective coverage of the Alabama Crimson Tide's spectacular triumph in the BCS Championship.

As I explained to one of the tip-jar hitters in an e-mail exchange, I'm planning to take a look at the tip jar situation Monday before booking my flight, probably departing Jan. 2 or 3. Every little bit will help me convince Mrs. Other McCain that this is a good idea not evidence of incipient psychosis.

Maybe you're feeling that Roll Tide spirit to the tune of $20. Or maybe you just figure it would be worth $10 to read about me racing around Southern California in a rental car, interviewing hawwwtt University of Alabama cheerleaders and buying $7 gin-and-tonics for Little Miss Attila during Happy Hour at one of her favorite L.A. dive bars.

Fear and Loathing in Pasadena could be the wildest scene since I covered the Libertarian Party national convention in Denver last year. Surely the true story of Rose Bowl decadence and debauchery has got to be worth $5 to readers who have nothing better to do this weekend than to read a political blog.

Carol at No Sheeples Here is also an Alabama fan trying to hustle her way to Pasadena, so if you've already hit my tip jar, you should think about throwing Carol some action, too. Besides, if I help her make it Pasadena, maybe I can get her to do a free logo for the new WordPress site -- with or without naked fat chicks. 'Cause I can roll either way . . .

Just hit the tip jar!

Alabama attorney successfully employs 'Roll Tide' defense

Why they call it "Sweet Home Alabama":

The BCS Championship game is so big in Alabama that it has shut down school for three days and now led to an accidental-death case being delayed so an attorney can attend the game.
In a move that is becoming as much of a trend as SEC teams playing for and winning the national title, an Alabama lawyer filed a motion seeking a trial date continuance based upon a conflict with the Alabama-Texas BCS title game. Jon B. Terry, a 57-year-old defense attorney for Energen Corporation filed the motion in Jefferson County, Alabama stating as grounds for the continuance, the well-established Roll Tide exception to general court business.
In a call to his office, Mr. Terry's secretary "not the Auburn one" said she was not at liberty to announce the judge's response to the motion. But a call to the judge's chambers, the honorable Dan C. King presiding -- an Auburn man no less -- confirmed that the judge has granted the motion although an official order has not yet been released.
Judge King told the Birmingham News, "If I didn't, they'd say, 'He just didn't grant it because he's an Auburn fellow. I wouldn't do that to 'em."

New joke for Jeff Foxworthy in 3, 2, 1 . . .

And really, you need to hit my Pasadena tip-jar for that.

Update: (Smitty) It should also be noted that sympathy for Stacy's cause might also help Troglopundit's, as a collateral bonus.

Empty Tip-Jar Blues

By R.S. "Speedo" McCain

Well, it's Christmas time, baby,
And the traffic's sucking bad.
Even though it's slightly better,
With the 'Lanche that Smitty had.
But I need a trip to Pasadena,
And my car payment's overdue.
I'm just another blogger with those
Empty Tip-Jar Blues.

There's this guy name Lance Mannion,
Although I never read his blog.
But he got on Memeorandum,
'Cause his glasses got ate by his dog.
Three weeks before the BCS,
I'd love to be blogging the news,
But I'm just another blogger with those
Empty Tip-Jar Blues.

I'm the dude Charles Johnson blamed
For his departure from the Right.
A simple misunderstanding:
I just want Christmas to be white.
Yes, I love all God's children --
Especially you Jews.
Still I'm just another blogger with those
Empty Tip-Jar Blues.

This crazy thing all started
When Dan Collins made a dare:
"If you want to see the BCS,
"Your readers will send you there."
Well, I made that tip jar rattle,
On the day Tim Tebow cried.
"Give me $10 or give me $20,
So I can go to see the Tide."
Just need $2,000 total,
Although some extra could be used.
Now I'm just another blogger with those
Empty Tip Jar Blues.

Drove down to Kentucky
And up to New York 23.
Now if you folks would only hit me,
I'll go from sea to shining sea.
I'll fly to Pasadena,
Buy a ticket for the ride.
Neutral and objective? Hell, no,
I love that Crimson Tide!
Oh, it's Christmas time, baby,
And my kids ain't got no shoes,
'Cause I'm just another blogger with those
Empty Tip-Jar Blues.

Ingram wins the Heisman Trophy . . .

UPDATE 9 p.m.:
ROLL TIDE!

Now, hit the tip jar, so I can go to Pasadena!

UPDATE 9:25 p.m.: CNN: "Ingram is the first Alabama player to win the Heisman." When the mighty Crimson Tide defense makes Colt McCoy cry the tears of unfathomable sadness, I want to be there to see it in person. Hit the tip jar!

PREVIOUSLY (6:50 p.m.): The ceremony starts at 8:50 ET. If Mark Ingram doesn't win -- especially if he's cheated out of the award by one of the two white quarterbacks from inferior schools -- I will personally contact Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton and the NAACP to demand that they protest this blatant racial injustice.

ROLL, TIDE, ROLL!

UPDATE 10:23 (Smitty): More detail at No Sheeples Here.

UPDATE 10/13 (RSM): TrogloPundit:

Rumors that Ingram's victory -- the narrowest ever in Heisman history -- was fueled in part by fear of the race card continue to swirl.

Rumors be damned. Ingram's superiority was so obvious, even a cheesehead troglodyte should recognize it. Ingram earned this trophy, helping lead Alabama to an undefeated season in the nation's toughest football conference. Via Ben Boles at IngramForHeisman.com, here's video of No. 22 interviewed last month after the Mississippi State game:

What's next for the undefeated Crimson Tide?

I understand that the folks in Pasadena, Calif., have scheduled Alabama for a Jan. 7 exhibition game against some second-rate team before officially presenting the championship trophy to the Tide.

That's just 25 days from now, which means there's about a week left before I need to book my flight to Pasadena. Hit the tip jar. Roll Tide!

Obama-like 'transparency' on Capitol Hill, as Senate votes on football day, again

Hey, let's vote on half a trillion bucks in new spending on a Saturday morning! In December! Two weeks before Christmas! On Shabbat during Hannukah! The same day as the Army-Navy game and the Heisman Trophy announcement!

Next, let's move to final approval on Sunday! Just when the NFL playoff chase is coming down to the wire! And basketball season is getting underway!

Isn't transparency wonderful?

Dear JSF

Someone pick up a phone and apologize. . . . RS, apologize for misconstruing Patterico's words.
-- JSF, Valley of the Shadow

Smitty already blogged about this, but there is a matter of honorable principle involved which the well-intentioned JSF evidently has not considered. (Ask Jeff Goldstein.)

I was peacefully minding my own business. It was a Sunday afternoon, and I was engaged in nothing more controversial than rattling the tip jar for my Pasadena trip, when Patterico started this, for no reason and with no apparent purpose other than to harsh my mellow.

John Patrick Frey is a deputy district attorney for Los Angeles County. He is also -- strange concidence -- an alumnus of the University of Texas Law School.

Hello? He decides to smear me because of a college football rivalry? And I should apologize to him? That's going to one mighty cold day in hell, my friend.

Now hit the tip jar so I can go to Pasadena in style. In all truth, living well is the best revenge.

Roll, Tide, Roll!

What matters and what doesn't

The University of Alabama Crimson Tide will play for the BCS national championship Jan. 7 in Pasadena. That matters.

Joseph Lawler engages in a debate on the relative merits of the BCS vs. proposals for a Division I football playoff scheme. That doesn't matter. To review the key facts briefly:

• Alabama.
• National Championship.

Why is Congress wasting time on a bill to mandate a Division I playoff? Let's get our priorities in order, America.

Everything -- including the name of the Crimson Tide's hapless opponents, who are to 'Bama what the Washington Generals are to the Harlem Globetrotters -- pales in signficance next to the the continuation of the Tide tradition.

And hitting the tip jar to send me to Pasadena.

Wow, he's only a sophomore?

Mark Ingram, odds-on favorite to become the University of Alabama's first Heisman Trophy winner:

To the winner go all the spoils and this 5-10, 215-pound sophomore back will be the one smiling at night's end this Saturday as he will win the Heisman and then have a shot to win it all in Pasadena -- doesn't get a heckuva lot better than that, right?
The spunky back entered last week's games as one of the co-favorites to win the Heisman and then busted free for 113 yards rushing and 76 yards receiving, along with three scores to help jettison the Crimson Tide past Florida in the aforementioned SEC Championship Game.
Ingram's rock-solid season had a late-year blip on the screen in that close-call 26-21 win at Auburn (16 carries for 30 yards rushing). But overall the numbers have a real Heisman Trophy feel to them.
He wound up rushing for 1,542 yards (averaging a hefty 6.2 yards a carry) with 15 touchdowns and Ingram added 30 pass receptions worth 322 yards and three scores.
Ingram's Heisman Odds are currently -350. Okay, he's no slam dunk to win this statue in the eyes of many gridiron fans but he's the best of this year's crop when you consider the numbers, the wins (now 13-0, including triumphs over Virginia Tech, Ole Miss, LSU and Florida) and the impact he had on that championship game when Ingram broke numerous tackles and placed his indelible stamp on that title tilt. He's your 2009 winner, folks!

If Ingram doesn't win? I said it before:

If Mark Ingram doesn't win the Heisman Trophy, it's racism. . . .
Both Tim Tebow and Corey Colt lost their shot at the Heisman Trophy [Saturday] night. Alabama's never had a Heisman. If Mark Ingram doesn't get the Heisman now, I'd join any Heisman protest Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton would care to lead.

Not that I'm colorblind or anything, just partial to Crimson. Hit the tip jar, people -- I'm going to Pasadena!

Fun Facts: 'Tuscaloosa' is a Creek Indian word meaning . . .?

If you said "excellence," you got that one right:

TUSCALOOSA, Ala. - Alabama students and faculty won't have to worry about missing class to attend the national title football game in Pasadena.
The university canceled classes from Jan. 6-8. . . .
The top-ranked Crimson Tide plays No. 2 Texas on Jan. 7 at the Rose Bowl.

And as I noted over at AmSpecBlog:

Insignificant schools like Harvard and Yale simply lack the kind of commitment to excellence necessary to becoming a genuinely first-class institution of higher learning.

Oh, everybody talks about GPAs and SATs and Ph.D.s, but the University of Alabama is the only place on earth where you can get advanced certification in MTTC: Made Tim Tebow Cry.

No Harvard boy can ever claim that . . . .

As my intellectual hero Larry the Cable Guy says, that's funny, I don't care who you are. Please hit the tip jar and send me to Pasadena so I can provide exclusive coverage of Alabama's expedition to the frontiers of educational excellence -- the kind of excellence that also happens to involve good-looking cheerleaders.

ROLL, TIDE, ROLL!

Tim Tebow: Nothing to cry about

Stogie at Saberpoint has a bikini photo of the Florida QB's girlfriend. He lost the SEC title and probably won't win the Heisman, but his girlfriend's got the NCAA Rule 5 championship locked up.

Stogie's wondering what scripture verse Tebow would write on his eyeblack in honor of this girl. I don't know, but it's not hard to guess her favorite Martina McBride song.

UPDATE: Speaking of blessed, I have been blessed with readers who appreciate both accurate reporting and good fun. There is some dispute among commenters as to whether Stogie's photo of Tim Tebow's girlfriend are real, but I think we can all agree they're spectacular.

Could I possibly rattle the tip-jar hard enough to get to Pasadena?

I doubt it. As much as I'd like to go cover Alabama vs. Texas in the BCS game, I simply don't think our readers would hit the tip jar to fund such a trip.

However, Dan Collins at POWIP has faith in you guys. He thinks you can do it, but as I told Dan and Jimmie Bise, this is an idea so crazy even I don't think it will work.

Why, I'd probably have to collect $2,000 between now and Jan. 7 in order to pay my overdue bills and go to Pasadena. Is that even possible? I don't think so. But . . .

Wait a minute. What did I say before Saturday's game?

Even I, a fan so faithful that I have been known to break down in tears at the sound of the Alabama fight song, have little hope that the Tide can win today.
A 'Bama win would be a miracle, a sign from God, the college football equivalent of In Hoc Signo Vinces.

Could it be? Was this truly a revelation of Divine Will? Could it be that the Almighty wants me to go to Pasadena? Is there some transcendental cosmic purpose at work here?

Or am I just scamming a free trip to the Rose Bowl?

Never mind. Suppose there were 1,000 Alabama fans who each hit tip jar for $2, or 400 'Bama fans for $5? If only there were 100 Crimson Tide true believers who were good for $20 each . . .

Who am I to doubt? Indeed, anything is within the scope of theoretical possibility, when it involves the undefeated SEC champion Alabama Crimson Tide. After all, who suspected before yesterday's game that we'd see Florida QB Tim Tebow in tears?

Here's the deal then: We'll raise $2,000 between now and New Year's Day, thus affording me a week to book my flight, scam somebody out of a press pass, etc. That means I must raise $80 a day, ever day, for the next 25 days.

So whether that's four people hitting me for $20 or eight people hitting me for $10, as long as I can maintain that pace until New Year's Day, then a month from now, I'll be in sunny Pasadena, attending press conferences, interviewing Crimson Tide football players and having my photo taken with beautiful Alabama cheerleaders.

The Other McCain Sports Department:
It's Not Just a Scam, It's an Adventure!

Now hit the tip jar!

P.S.: If anyone has any suggestions for fund-raising incentives, just put them in the comments.
UPDATE: Robert G. from St. Augustine, Fla., was the first reader to hit the tip jar for the Pasadena trip. And he did it even while Mrs. Other McCain was giving me the depressing rundown on our household budget.

My wife was saying, "Electric bill blah blah blah water bill blah blah blah cell-phone bill blah blah blah . . ." And then I logged into PayPal and shouted: "Roll, Tide!"

Uh, I haven't told her about the Pasadena trip yet. Going to take a few more tip-jar hits before she's ready to hear that news. She reads the blog, but not every day.

UPDATE II: Dan Collins links with this encouragement:

If you’re looking for a little gonzo on the subject of the Rose Bowl, if you’d like to feel that you were there in a slightly off-kilter way, you won’t do better than sending Stacy. Consider it an investment in voyeurism. You know that he’ll deliver.

Speaking of slightly off-kilter, Los Angeles resident Little Miss Attila plans to meet me in Pasadena to collect some of the martinis I still owe her from last year's CPAC. Better hit that tip jar at little harder. Attila can really put away the gin.

'Bama wins, Tim Tebow cries

Sorry to ruin your Heisman hopes, man:

Somebody needs to ask the Climate Research Unit to investigate this claim: Tim Tebow's tears cure cancer.

Also, I agree: If Mark Ingram doesn't win the Heisman Trophy, it's racism.

UPDATE: Carol at No Sheeples Here:

Indeed, the chomplessness of the Gators shocked me. Tebow is a great quarterback and, after his performance in last year's SEC title game, I thought he was unbeatable. However, as someone said, "Tebow might be able to walk on water, but he can't run on the Tide."

Which was what it came down to, really. Alabama assigned linebacker Orlando McClain to stop Tebow from running the ball on the option or scrambles. Give Nick Saban credit for choosing to receive the opening kickoff (he usually defers), so that the Tide offense got the chance to show it could move the ball on Florida. Once 'Bama took an early lead, the Gators were forced to play catch-up and the dynamics of the game changed.

While RB Mark Ingram and QB Greg McElroy will get most of the credit, it was a team victory for Alabama. McElroy hit four different receivers -- Marquis Maze, Ingram, Corey Peek and Julio Jones -- and Ingram's 113 yards rushing were less than half of 'Bama's 260 total rushing yards. The Tide's offensive line was excellent, and the defense produced some of the most exciting plays of the game, including Javiera Arenas' game-clinching interception.

If Alabama could beat Florida, they should have no problem with Texas on Jan. 7 in Pasadena. Longhorns QB Colt McCoy -- damn, that's a great name for a Texas quarterback, isn't it? -- was decidedly unimpressive against Nebraska. His inept management of the clock on the final drive nearly cost the 'Horns the game. Texas fans will say, "A win is a win," and that's true. But Texas only rushed for 18 yards against Nebraska and the Longhorns' offensive line allowed their quarterback to be sacked repeatedly.

Both Tim Tebow and Corey Colt lost their shot at the Heisman Trophy last night. Alabama's never had a Heisman. If Mark Ingram doesn't get the Heisman now, I'd join any Heisman protest Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton would care to lead.

Roll, Tide, Roll!

It's the undefeated Alabama Crimson Tide vs. the University of Evil, featuring QB Tim Tebow. Video preview at CBSSports.com.

Despite their 12-0 record, 'Bama is the underdog in the SEC championship game on CBS. Even I, a fan so faithful that I have been known to break down in tears at the sound of the Alabama fight song, have little hope that the Tide can win today.

A 'Bama win would be a miracle, a sign from God, the college football equivalent of In Hoc Signo Vinces.

Politics pales in signficance when compared to the cosmic consequences at stake in this immortal conflict. But did I mention that Obama is rooting for the Gators?

Just sayin' . . .

UPDATE 7:35 p.m.: With less than 5 minutes left, Alabama leads 32-13. Pasadena, baby! Hit the tip jar!

UPDATE 7:55 p.m.: "Remember the Rose Bowl We'll Win Then!"

UPDATE 8:05 p.m.: Ladies and gentlemen, the University of Alabama Million Dollar Band!

Yea, Alabama! Drown 'em Tide!
Every 'Bama man's behind you,
Hit your stride.
Go teach the Bulldogs to behave,
Send the Yellow Jackets to a watery grave.
And if a man starts to weaken,
That's a shame!
For Bama's pluck and grit have
Writ her name in Crimson flame.
Fight on, fight on, fight on men!
Remember the Rose Bowl, we'll win then.
So roll on to victory,
Hit your stride,
You're Dixie's football pride, Crimson Tide!

UPDATE 8:30 p.m.: Carol at No Sheeples Here is also a 'Bama fan. Condolences to Doug at Daley Gator. Got to be a hard thing to watch your quarterback cry on national TV.

I just got off the phone with my older brother Kirby, who had a quadruple bypass two years ago. Kirby said, "I remembered to take my heart medication before the game this week. Last week at halftime of that Auburn game, I felt my chest start tightening up and said, 'Oh, crap, I forgot to take my medicine!'"

Victory is good for whatever ails you.

UPDATE 10:10 p.m.: A fellow Southerner sent me an e-mail reminiscing about the Bear Bryant era, when he attended college up north:

But in those days, my classmates were good guys, but Yankees. I'd spend the holidays in Philly with my friends, and watch The Bear battle Penn State and Notre Dame for the national championship (my classmates were also Catholic, and the Irish were their Boys).

I sent him back an e-mail message:

The Crimson Tide was to the South what Notre Dame was to Catholics.
Kind of makes you feel sorry for Notre Dame fans. One of these days they're going to die and go to heaven and be shocked to discover that God wears a houndstooth hat and smokes unfiltered Chesterfields.
Of course, being the merciful being he is, God won't ban them to Hell.
That's for Auburn fans.

If anyone wants to accuse me of anti-Auburnism, I plead guilty.

NFL Sunday: Cowboys vs. Redskins

Nancy Pelosi: Anti-American Anti-Christ

What kind of subversive commie would schedule a major debate on health care not only during Alabama-LSU, but also during Ohio State-Penn State?

She's evil.

UPDATE: The Satanic Pelosi just caused Alabama to give up a safety and a touchdown. LSU 15, 'Bama 10.

UPDATE II: 'Bama won 24-15, and the House is still debating. What a way to ruin an otherwise wonderful autumn weekend. There's a word for this: WRONG.

Roll, Tide, Roll!

The only deficit I care about right now is that the Crimson Tide trails LSU at halftime, 7-3. Greg McElroy overthrew what would have been a touchdown pass. Then, as the clocked ticked down toward the half, on first-and-10 in LSU territory, McElroy got panicked by a blitz and threw an interception.

Further such failures should not be permitted. In the second half, McElroy's job should consist mainly of handing the ball to Mark Ingram and Trent Richardson. Stick to the ground game and just let that big 'Bama line pound the Tiger defense to smithereens.

McElroy can worry about his Heisman stats next week. Today, Alabama must win.

UPDATE: 11:40 3rd quarter, McElroy 21-yard TD pass. He's redeemed himself. Temporarily. Nancy Pelosi? She's beyond redemption, an enemy of God and man.

UPDATE II: Final score: 'Bama 24-15, but it shouldn't have been that close. I don't know why Coach Saban doesn't establish the running game first in a game like that. Alabama's offensive line could have dominated LSU all day. But a win is a win, I guess.

Roll, Tide, Roll!

Now, No. 2 in the Associated Press poll, undefeated at 6-0 after a convincing 22-3 road win over a strong Ole Miss squad, and beginning to convince skeptics that they've got what it takes to deserve another shot at the championship.

It's a good day to be a 'Bama fan. OK, it's always a good day to be a 'Bama fan, but days like today -- the delightfully thrilling hope of another national championship -- are extra-good.

At some point this fall, I've got to find an excuse to get down to Tuscaloosa. Hit the tip jar.

'Southern populist terrorism' UPDATED: Send me to Kentucky?

BUMPED 7:55 p.m. for UPDATE BELOW

ORIGINAL 6:50 p.m.: A Harvard diploma qualifies Andrew Sullivan to conduct investigative journalism in Kentucky from his beach home in Provincetown, Mass., or perhaps from his pied-a-terre in D.C.:

If this was a revenge murder for stumbling upon a meth lab or pot plantation, it’s hard to understand why such a big deal would be made out of his census identification card. It’s possible, I suppose, that anger at the feds in general could make a drug dealer murder a census worker. But the most worrying possibility – that this is Southern populist terrorism, whipped up by the GOP and its Fox and talk radio cohorts – remains real.

Via Alberto Hurtado at Southern Appeal, and thanks to the anonymous tipster. I will refrain from comment at this time, as Alabama is busy whuppin' the ever-lovin' hawgs#*t out of Arkansas. Roll, Tide, Roll!

UPDATE 7:55 p.m.: Alabama 35, Arkansas 7, with Crimson Tide QB McElroy completing 17/24 for 291 yds and 3 TDs, including a shwwwweet razzle-dazzle to Julio Jones. Alabama's win in its SEC opener at Tuscaloosa was the 10th consecutive home-field victory for the Tide, now 4-0 and ranked No. 3 nationally.

That's what's called reporting, as opposed to the prejudiced Ivy League elitist speculations of Andrew Sullivan. The following is also reporting, datelined from Big Creek, Ky.:

It was a bizarre and gruesome discovery in a remote section of eastern Kentucky: Bill Sparkman, a 51-year-old teacher and part-time worker for the United States Census, was found two weeks ago hanging from a tree with the word "Fed" scrawled on his chest in felt tip pen.
A man who said he was among those who found the body told tells the Associated Press that Sparkman was naked, bound at the hands and feet with duct tape and gagged - details that have not yet been confirmed by authorities.
Jerry Weaver of Ohio told the Associated Press he was visiting a cemetery in rural Kentucky with family members on Sept. 12 when he, his wife and daughter saw the body.
"The only thing he had on was a pair of socks," Weaver said. "And they had duct-taped his hands, his wrists. He had duct tape over his eyes, and they gagged him with a red rag or something.
"He was murdered," Weaver said. "There's no doubt."
Weaver said the body was about 50 yards from a 2003 Chevrolet S-10 pickup truck.

OK, this is evidently murder in Kentucky, not suicide. Motive unknown. Big Creek, Ky., is a 500-mile drive from here. I could easily drive it in eight hours. I had plans to attend an event Sunday in Virginia, and had expected to go to D.C. this coming week to follow up on the latest IG-Gate developments.

However, if my readers would prefer me to teach Andrew Sullivan a lesson in journalism, feel free to hit the tip jar. Figure 1,200 miles travel round-trip, at 25 cents per mile, that's $300. Five meals at $5/each, that's another $25. A carton of smokes, $50; ten cups of coffee, $20. If you add $125/night for a hotel room, I could make it a two-day trip for $500.

C'mon, readers, you want me to put some shoe leather on this story, or what? If this is really "Southern populist terrorism," who better than me to get the scoop? So if the tip jar contributions between now and Sunday evening reach $300, I'll take it for granted that the rest will come through while I'm on the road. I could be filing reports with a Kentucky dateline by Monday noon.

UPDATE 10:03 P.M: Just wanted to apologize to co-blogger Smitty. In bumping for the update, not realizing what time he had scheduled his own next post, I accidentally jumped right on top of his report (with photos) from today's Green Tea Party in D.C.

What infuriates me about Andrew Sullivan, if I may elaborate, is his arrogant laziness, an insult to hard-working people who actually do reporting (or half-way decent blogging, for that matter).

Do you suppose that Sully might do a Google search, find the phone number of the appropriate law enforcement authorities in Kentucky, and make a freaking phone call? Well, if you suppose such a thing, you suppose too much.

"Hi, this is Andrew Sullivan of The Atlantic Monthly," is a phrase that no law enforcement officer in Kentucky will ever hear, because Sully's too damned important to be bothered with doing any actual reporting. So much more easy to sit in front of your laptop and tell us What It Means, as if you're the only person who can pull a theory out of thin air.

Sigh. Here, I'll let William Jacobson take over a while:

Think Progress, which never met a fact it couldn't twist, blames Michelle Bachmann's expressions of concerns over the intrusive nature of the Census for the death. Steve Benen at Washington Monthly spreads the blame around to Bachmann, Glenn Beck and Neil Boortz. While acknowledging that there is no real proof of anything, Benen ends with the transparently false hope "that their reckless and irresponsible rhetoric did not have deadly consequences."

Sparkman is dead, evidently murdered. This we know. What we don't know, we don't know, and until we do know, how about everybody grab a fresh hot cup of STFU?

If it turns out that Sparkman was lynched by the Clay County Glenn Beck Palinista Wing Nut Militia, OK. If it turns out he was murdered by dope growers or 'shiners, OK. If it turns out he was murdered for perverse motives by some toothless inbred banjo-picker who thought Sparkman bore a fetching resemblance to Ned Beatty, OK.

But if you're not going to do any reporting, Andrew, your baseless speculation about the Sparkman murder is as far from actual journalism as your idiotic obstetric theorizing about Trig Palin.

BTW, No. 5 Penn State 10, Iowa 5, with 13:24 left in the third quarter. That's a fact.

UPDATE 10:14 p.m.: (Smitty)
Whip me, flog me, deliver the abuse I crave.

UPDATE 12:01 p.m. RSM: Two phone calls, about an hour's worth of research and writing -- being an honest-to-God reporter isn't exactly rocket science, if you aren't hindered by an Ivy League education and elitist snobbery.

So Icy Boys 38, Bebot 24

After Friday's humiliating defeat at the hands of son Bob's Brick Squad, the So Icy Boys recruited Bob's twin brother James for Sunday's game, and triumphed.

James (second from the right in back) actually ran for a touchdown. As a defensive back, he got beat on a couple of plays ("Don't let that man get behind you, boy!"), but also made some key tackles including three QB sacks in a row on the blitz. Did old No. 27 proud.

The general sloppiness of So Icy Boys on defense -- no way they should have given up four touchdowns to Bebot -- was frustrating. In the end, however, victory is the balm that heals all wounds.

Next Sunday, Brick Squad meets So Icy Boys, putting paternal loyalty in neutral. But I'm sure both teams will be fired up for . . . The McCain Bowl?