Showing posts with label Alabama. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Alabama. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Pasadena, Here I Come!

Just booked my flight to cover next week's BCS Championship Game between the No. 1 Alabama Crimson Tide and whatever second-rate outfit they've scheduled as 'Bama's opponent at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena.

My request for media credentials is still being processed, but I'm sure Gina and Stephanie in the Rose Bowl press relations office will understand the publicity value of my presence at this event, providing neutral objective coverage of the Tide's glorious triumph.

Talked to Donald Douglas of American Power blog about my travel plans, and I understand Little Miss Attila may also be interested in hanging out in Pasadena next week. I haven't booked a hotel yet, so L.A.-area readers interested in having a notorious blogger sleep on your sofa should be sure to drop me an e-mail.

UPDATE: The Tide will be practicing at Orange Coast College in Costa Mesa, which is 52 miles from the Burbank Airport, a 2-hour drive in traffic. So figuring 100 miles round-trip at 20 cents per mile, that's $20 for me to go hang out with the team (and the cheerleaders).

That doesn't include the $7 pack of smokes and coffee (4 cups at $2 per cup = $8) I'll consume on that trip, not to mention $55 a day for a rental car. Just called a hotel in Costa Mesa, and it's $139.40 (including tax) for one night. So if you haven't hit the tip jar yet, here's your chance. Roll Tide!

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Seasonal Traffic Suckage Syndrome leads to Shameless Tip-Jar Rattling Disorder

One of the obvious reasons for doing the changeover to the WordPress site during the holidays is that blog traffic sucks this time of year, so time spent on the changeover doesn't really subtract from the overall blog ecology. What's the point of doing a dozen posts on Christmas Day, if nobody's reading it anyway?

For similar reasons, some bloggers don't blog much on weekends -- when blog readership decreases by 30% or more -- but we've never really observed that custom here. Smitty reports that a relative paucity of Rule 2 linkage made for a much shorter FMJRA this week, which is to be expected, although we hope there won't be a similar shortage of babe-blogging for Rule 5 Sunday.

One of the things about Seasonal Traffic Suckage Syndrome (STSS) is not to take it personally. Traffic here is demonstrably down for December -- currently about 160K visits for the month, after four consecutive months of >220K -- but when compared year-to-year, we've gained about 80% over December 2008. And so you have to have a certain amount of perspective when you realize that on Christmas Day we recorded our worst weekday traffic in recent memory.

Because routine headline+link+snark formula blogging would be kind of a waste of time during the holidays, I've taken advantage of the situation to do some long-form stuff. First there was "Don't Fear the People," a retrospective on my coverage of the populist grassroots revival -- the first substantive post at the new site -- and then there was today's post about Washington's Christmas crossing of the Delaware.

Another thing to do during periods of slow traffic is to blog about totally silly stuff, like the Christmas Day arrest of celebrity scumbag Charlie Sheen. Why not? Do you really expect us to constantly monitor Memeorandum for the latest breaking news on the Nigerian terrorist? On a day when we're averaging less than 200 visits an hour?

Let's face it: We could post a completely random photo of an impressively endowed chubby chick -- hey, more to love -- and not get any complaints, because nobody's reading us this weekend anyway. (Folks, don't worry that we're corrupting your kids. If your teenage son got a computer for Christmas, do you really think he'll be cruising political blogs for chubbettes?)

Would a serious political commentator -- say, for example, Dan Collins -- link something so irresponsibly exploitative as a post with photos of random topless fat chicks? Of course he would. Because at least it's fun, and if traffic sucks anyway, you might as well have fun.

However, there are more useful things bloggers can do with the readerless holiday hours when we're afflicted with Seasonal Traffic Suckage Syndrome (STSS). Therefore, while Smitty toils away on the technical geekery of the WordPress changeover, I've been writing thank-you e-mails to the tip-jar hitters.

We're about halfway to our $2,000 goal for the Pasadena trip, which was a double-dog-dare-ya scheme promoted by Dan Collins. As I said at the time, I didn't think I could possibly rattle the tip-jar hard enough to make this trip happen and yet . . .

Well, as of yesterday, 34 people had hit the tip jar for an average of $30 each during December. And today I got a Christmas card from Barbara Espinosa of American Freedom blog, with a gift incentive for the trip. I checked Travelocity and can make a flight to LAX departing next weekend for about $450 if I booked it today.

Mrs. Other McCain is, of course, worried about the bills. If I make this trip, will it clear enough cash to break even and still pay the bills? Does that 1990 photo of Mrs. Other McCain looking hot in her bikini encourage you to ease her mind with an extra $10 or $20? Would you rather see more photos of fat chicks? Is anybody actually reading this?

The point is, I can roll either way: Fat chicks, celebrity scumbags, historical inspiration, or up-to-the minute breaking news about John Kerry and other terrorists. But I don't want to have to choose between (a) paying the bills and (b) going to Pasadena to provide neutral, objective coverage of the Alabama Crimson Tide's spectacular triumph in the BCS Championship.

As I explained to one of the tip-jar hitters in an e-mail exchange, I'm planning to take a look at the tip jar situation Monday before booking my flight, probably departing Jan. 2 or 3. Every little bit will help me convince Mrs. Other McCain that this is a good idea not evidence of incipient psychosis.

Maybe you're feeling that Roll Tide spirit to the tune of $20. Or maybe you just figure it would be worth $10 to read about me racing around Southern California in a rental car, interviewing hawwwtt University of Alabama cheerleaders and buying $7 gin-and-tonics for Little Miss Attila during Happy Hour at one of her favorite L.A. dive bars.

Fear and Loathing in Pasadena could be the wildest scene since I covered the Libertarian Party national convention in Denver last year. Surely the true story of Rose Bowl decadence and debauchery has got to be worth $5 to readers who have nothing better to do this weekend than to read a political blog.

Carol at No Sheeples Here is also an Alabama fan trying to hustle her way to Pasadena, so if you've already hit my tip jar, you should think about throwing Carol some action, too. Besides, if I help her make it Pasadena, maybe I can get her to do a free logo for the new WordPress site -- with or without naked fat chicks. 'Cause I can roll either way . . .

Just hit the tip jar!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Alabama attorney successfully
employs 'Roll Tide' defense

Why they call it "Sweet Home Alabama":
The BCS Championship game is so big in Alabama that it has shut down school for three days and now led to an accidental-death case being delayed so an attorney can attend the game.
In a move that is becoming as much of a trend as SEC teams playing for and winning the national title, an Alabama lawyer filed a motion seeking a trial date continuance based upon a conflict with the Alabama-Texas BCS title game. Jon B. Terry, a 57-year-old defense attorney for Energen Corporation filed the motion in Jefferson County, Alabama stating as grounds for the continuance, the well-established Roll Tide exception to general court business.
In a call to his office, Mr. Terry's secretary "not the Auburn one" said she was not at liberty to announce the judge's response to the motion. But a call to the judge's chambers, the honorable Dan C. King presiding -- an Auburn man no less -- confirmed that the judge has granted the motion although an official order has not yet been released.
Judge King told the Birmingham News, "If I didn't, they'd say, 'He just didn't grant it because he's an Auburn fellow. I wouldn't do that to 'em."
New joke for Jeff Foxworthy in 3, 2, 1 . . .

And really, you need to hit my Pasadena tip-jar for that.

Update: (Smitty) It should also be noted that sympathy for Stacy's cause might also help Troglopundit's, as a collateral bonus.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Katrina Vanden Heuvel can't afford
to send Max Blumenthal to Pasadena

She's rattling the tip-jar with sudden fury:
This morning we sent out our end of year fundraising appeal. You can read the full text here but the gist of it is this: The Nation is facing a significant budget shortfall, at a moment when support for investigative journalism is collapsing. The definition of "journalism," and the debate over how people get their content, who pays for it and what form it takes is changing every day. As The Nation's Editor, these shifts in the media landscape are fascinating. As The Nation's Publisher, these changes are alarming. Reporting--real, gritty, hands-on journalism--costs serious money.
Bwaahahahaha. With an average daily traffic of 7,000 visits, I investigated the Sparkman case in Kentucky and covered the NY23 special election on tip-jar hits, and yet the biggest left-wing magazine in America (not counting Newsweek) can't pay their bills because reporting "costs serious money"!

C'mon, people, don't you want to send me in Pasadena to cover the BCS game? "Real, gritty, hands-on journalism" with college cheerleaders? Just to shove it in Katrina Vanden Heuvel's face? Isn't that worth $5 or $10 to you?

UPDATE: The left-wing blog BuzzFlash is angry because Vanden Heuvel's fundraising letter complains that bloggers "these 'aggregator' websites use our work without contributing a penny to support and produce the journalism we invest in."

Funny. That's kind of how some small-business owners feel about their federal taxes, but I thought Vanden Heuvel was "progressive"?

UPDATE II: John T. of Raleigh, N.C., just hit the tip jar. Earlier today Michael R. of Shawnee, Kansas, and Stephen N. of Plano, Texas, kicked in to help me beat those Empty Tip-Jar Blues. Among other readers contributing to the Pasadena tip-jar this week: Kenneth J. of Austin (!), Larry L. of Houston, Barry C. of Florrisant, Mo., Jeanne P. of Drexel Hill, Pa., and Nathan D. of Huntley, Ill.

UPDATE III: On Twitter, Dan Collins said I was mocking Katrina Vanden Heuvel, to which I replied:
Katrina Vanden Heuvel Should Be Mocked, and Often, and By Someone Who Knows How
Jimmie Bise liked that so much he re-Tweeted, and I apologized for recycling a joke. Jimmie then said it was good enough to deserve recycling. So I replied:
Good Jokes Should Be Recycled, and Often, and By Someone Who Knows How
Thanks for that shtick, Captain Butler.

UPDATE IV: Speaking of thanks, more tip-jar hitters have joined the effort to send me to Pasadena. Robert G. of St. Augustine, Fla., who was the first guy to hit the Pasadena tip-jar, hits me again, and Mike in El Segundo says I need another carton of cigarettes for Christmas. Christopher B. of Nova Scotia hits me to get me "at least halfway to the airport," and thus adds his name to Kathy Shaidle's on my Very Short List of "Good Canadians."

And a certain Steven G. of Santa Barbara hits the tip jar with a mention of USC fullback Sam "Bam" Cunningham. Cunningham scored two TDs in a 42-21 USC win over the Tide at Legion Stadium in 1970s.

That home-field defeat convinced the university's boosters to allow Bear Bryant to recruit black players (as he had wanted to do for years). One of Coach Bryant's assistants said, "Sam Cunningham did more to integrate Alabama in 60 minutes than Martin Luther King did in 20 years." Indeed.

Coach Bryant (and a lot of Alabama fans, my parents included) felt that the Tide was wrongly stigmatized for the state's racial politics, over which neither the coach nor the team had any control. In 1966, for example, the Tide finished 11-0 and won the Sugar Bowl, but was ranked only No. 3.

The fact that Mark Ingram of Flint, Mich., was willing to come to Tuscaloosa -- and became the Tide's first Heisman winner -- indicates that 'Bama may have finally shaken that decades-old stigma. Now if we could just get the NCAA to stop persecuting the Tide . . .

Empty Tip-Jar Blues

By R.S. "Speedo" McCain

Well, it's Christmas time, baby,
And the traffic's sucking bad.
Even though it's slightly better,
With the 'Lanche that Smitty had.
But I need a trip to Pasadena,
And my car payment's overdue.
I'm just another blogger with those
Empty Tip-Jar Blues.

There's this guy name Lance Mannion,
Although I never read his blog.
But he got on Memeorandum,
'Cause his glasses got ate by his dog.
Three weeks before the BCS,
I'd love to be blogging the news,
But I'm just another blogger with those
Empty Tip-Jar Blues.

I'm the dude Charles Johnson blamed
For his departure from the Right.
A simple misunderstanding:
I just want Christmas to be white.
Yes, I love all God's children --
Especially you Jews.
Still I'm just another blogger with those
Empty Tip-Jar Blues.

This crazy thing all started
When Dan Collins made a dare:
"If you want to see the BCS,
"Your readers will send you there."
Well, I made that tip jar rattle,
On the day Tim Tebow cried.
"Give me $10 or give me $20,
So I can go to see the Tide."
Just need $2,000 total,
Although some extra could be used.
Now I'm just another blogger with those
Empty Tip Jar Blues.

Drove down to Kentucky
And up to New York 23.
Now if you folks would only hit me,
I'll go from sea to shining sea.
I'll fly to Pasadena,
Buy a ticket for the ride.
Neutral and objective? Hell, no,
I love that Crimson Tide!
Oh, it's Christmas time, baby,
And my kids ain't got no shoes,
'Cause I'm just another blogger with those
Empty Tip-Jar Blues.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Ingram wins the Heisman Trophy . . .

UPDATE 9 p.m.:
ROLL TIDE!

Now, hit the tip jar, so I can go to Pasadena!

UPDATE 9:25 p.m.: CNN: "Ingram is the first Alabama player to win the Heisman." When the mighty Crimson Tide defense makes Colt McCoy cry the tears of unfathomable sadness, I want to be there to see it in person. Hit the tip jar!

PREVIOUSLY (6:50 p.m.): The ceremony starts at 8:50 ET. If Mark Ingram doesn't win -- especially if he's cheated out of the award by one of the two white quarterbacks from inferior schools -- I will personally contact Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton and the NAACP to demand that they protest this blatant racial injustice.

ROLL, TIDE, ROLL!

UPDATE 10:23 (Smitty): More detail at No Sheeples Here.

UPDATE 10/13 (RSM): TrogloPundit:
Rumors that Ingram's victory -- the narrowest ever in Heisman history -- was fueled in part by fear of the race card continue to swirl.
Rumors be damned. Ingram's superiority was so obvious, even a cheesehead troglodyte should recognize it. Ingram earned this trophy, helping lead Alabama to an undefeated season in the nation's toughest football conference. Via Ben Boles at IngramForHeisman.com, here's video of No. 22 interviewed last month after the Mississippi State game:

What's next for the undefeated Crimson Tide?
I understand that the folks in Pasadena, Calif., have scheduled Alabama for a Jan. 7 exhibition game against some second-rate team before officially presenting the championship trophy to the Tide.
That's just 25 days from now, which means there's about a week left before I need to book my flight to Pasadena. Hit the tip jar. Roll Tide!

Friday, December 11, 2009

Dear JSF

Someone pick up a phone and apologize. . . . RS, apologize for misconstruing Patterico's words.
-- JSF, Valley of the Shadow

Smitty already blogged about this, but there is a matter of honorable principle involved which the well-intentioned JSF evidently has not considered. (Ask Jeff Goldstein.)

I was peacefully minding my own business. It was a Sunday afternoon, and I was engaged in nothing more controversial than rattling the tip jar for my Pasadena trip, when Patterico started this, for no reason and with no apparent purpose other than to harsh my mellow.

John Patrick Frey is a deputy district attorney for Los Angeles County. He is also -- strange concidence -- an alumnus of the University of Texas Law School.

Hello? He decides to smear me because of a college football rivalry? And I should apologize to him? That's going to one mighty cold day in hell, my friend.

Now hit the tip jar so I can go to Pasadena in style. In all truth, living well is the best revenge.

Roll, Tide, Roll!

What matters and what doesn't

The University of Alabama Crimson Tide will play for the BCS national championship Jan. 7 in Pasadena. That matters.

Joseph Lawler engages in a debate on the relative merits of the BCS vs. proposals for a Division I football playoff scheme. That doesn't matter. To review the key facts briefly:
  • Alabama.
  • National Championship.
Why is Congress wasting time on a bill to mandate a Division I playoff? Let's get our priorities in order, America.

Everything -- including the name of the Crimson Tide's hapless opponents, who are to 'Bama what the Washington Generals are to the Harlem Globetrotters -- pales in signficance next to the the continuation of the Tide tradition.

And hitting the tip jar to send me to Pasadena.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Wow, he's only a sophomore?

Mark Ingram, odds-on favorite to become the University of Alabama's first Heisman Trophy winner:
To the winner go all the spoils and this 5-10, 215-pound sophomore back will be the one smiling at night's end this Saturday as he will win the Heisman and then have a shot to win it all in Pasadena -- doesn't get a heckuva lot better than that, right?
The spunky back entered last week's games as one of the co-favorites to win the Heisman and then busted free for 113 yards rushing and 76 yards receiving, along with three scores to help jettison the Crimson Tide past Florida in the aforementioned SEC Championship Game.
Ingram's rock-solid season had a late-year blip on the screen in that close-call 26-21 win at Auburn (16 carries for 30 yards rushing). But overall the numbers have a real Heisman Trophy feel to them.
He wound up rushing for 1,542 yards (averaging a hefty 6.2 yards a carry) with 15 touchdowns and Ingram added 30 pass receptions worth 322 yards and three scores.
Ingram's Heisman Odds are currently -350. Okay, he's no slam dunk to win this statue in the eyes of many gridiron fans but he's the best of this year's crop when you consider the numbers, the wins (now 13-0, including triumphs over Virginia Tech, Ole Miss, LSU and Florida) and the impact he had on that championship game when Ingram broke numerous tackles and placed his indelible stamp on that title tilt. He's your 2009 winner, folks!
If Ingram doesn't win? I said it before:
If Mark Ingram doesn't win the Heisman Trophy, it's racism. . . .
Both Tim Tebow and Corey Colt lost their shot at the Heisman Trophy [Saturday] night. Alabama's never had a Heisman. If Mark Ingram doesn't get the Heisman now, I'd join any Heisman protest Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton would care to lead.
Not that I'm colorblind or anything, just partial to Crimson. Hit the tip jar, people -- I'm going to Pasadena!

Fun Facts: 'Tuscaloosa' is a Creek Indian word meaning . . .?

If you said "excellence," you got that one right:
TUSCALOOSA, Ala. - Alabama students and faculty won't have to worry about missing class to attend the national title football game in Pasadena.
The university canceled classes from Jan. 6-8. . . .
The top-ranked Crimson Tide plays No. 2 Texas on Jan. 7 at the Rose Bowl.
And as I noted over at AmSpecBlog:
Insignificant schools like Harvard and Yale simply lack the kind of commitment to excellence necessary to becoming a genuinely first-class institution of higher learning.
Oh, everybody talks about GPAs and SATs and Ph.D.s, but the University of Alabama is the only place on earth where you can get advanced certification in MTTC: Made Tim Tebow Cry.

No Harvard boy can ever claim that . . . .

As my intellectual hero Larry the Cable Guy says, that's funny, I don't care who you are. Please hit the tip jar and send me to Pasadena so I can provide exclusive coverage of Alabama's expedition to the frontiers of educational excellence -- the kind of excellence that also happens to involve good-looking cheerleaders.

ROLL, TIDE, ROLL!

Monday, December 7, 2009

Fear and Loathing at Patterico

Although I can't vouch for the accuracy of everything collected in Dennis Wheeler's "The Great Southern League Race Debate," it is an important document that explains what Stogie and others have been trying to explain about this "white supremacist" accusation against me, namely that it is false.

Whatever Patterico's intent in blogging about it, the main effect is that I've been provided ample materials for a discussion of how this smear got started. I didn't plan to spend any more time dealing with it, but one of my commenters asked me to address it, and so I will. The provenance was explained this morning:
Wheeler was -- and, so far as I know, still is -- a white separatist or white nationalist, call it what you will. In the 1996 e-mail list-server messages he collected, you will see that I argue against Wheeler's insistence that the Southern League (which subsequently became the League of the South) should adopt his own racial views. Others on my side in that debate included George Kalas and Gary Waltrip.
Wheeler's arguments did not prevail; he left the list-server and subsequently posted lengthy excerpts of the colloquy on his own site, without permission of the participants. Wheeler obviously believes himself correct, and considers the 1996 debate a vindication of his own views. It's a free country, and I can't tell him what to think.
Rather than starting with the how and why of my participation in that list-server, I'll begin by pointing out the when: It was 1996, and the occasion of the Atlanta Olympics had led to a lot of controversy over the Confederate symbol on the Georgia state flag and a lot of ill-informed MSM punditry about the "legacy of slavery," etc. Being a native Atlantan, I was outraged by the attempt of reporters for the New York Times and other major media outlets to smear my hometown, a thriving metropolis that had long boasted of being "The City Too Busy to Hate."

Ride With the Angels
As a reporter, editor and columnist for the Rome (Ga.) News-Tribune, I approached this ugly mess in the Gonzo way, stomping straight into the middle of the fight and becoming directly engaged with the fight and the fighters.

Arbiters of journalism ethics are free to criticize this method, but it gets results. If you're going to write about the Hell's Angels, ride with the Hell's Angels. Whatever is lost in terms of Objectivity is more than compensated by the elimination of misinformed bullsh*t, which is the real problem in American journalism.

From the standpoint of the news consumer, it doesn't matter whether Katrina Vanden Heuvel is a Marxist or whether Sean Hannity is a member of Opus Dei. What matters is whether they get the facts right or whether they are engaged in the dissemination of misleading distortions. What makes the MSM an object of criticism is that they strike a pose of Objectivity while disseminating such distortions.

Hunter S. Thompson was always a man of the Left, yet despised mainstream journalism on the same grounds as do most conservative bloggers today: The media get the facts wrong, or omit facts more important than what they report. Most often, to borrow the terminology of liberal analyst George Lakoff, the MSM "frame the narrative" in such a way as to prejudice the reader's perception of personalities (e.g., Howard Dean or Sarah Palin), events (e.g., the Iraq War or the NY23 special election) and social phenomena (e.g., homosexuality or crime).

If you allow your perception of the world to be controlled by the MSM -- permitting them to be the primary lens through which you view events -- you will be misinformed and disinformed. Just as Hunter S. Thompson saw the bogus "'terror on two wheels" hype about the Hell's Angels as an opportunity to seek out the Angels and discover the unreported reality, I have often found myself in the position of trying to discover similar realities, e.g., the absurd "Send the Body to Glenn Beck" claims about the death of Bill Sparkman.

Trolls and Hidden Agendas
All of this is by way of outlining a distinction that is very important. As a professional journalist, I was paid to cover the controversies of the mid-1990s. As a citizen, however, I felt a duty to become involved in those controversies, which is how I found myself on the list-server in July 1996, praising George Kalas for his efforts to prevent the League of the South from being marginalized as a racist organization:
I have never understood those black or white who say that the South should necessarily be riven by racial antagonisms.
-- Robert Stacy McCain, July 17, 1996
It was my praise of Kalas, you see, that elicited Wheeler's subsequent response and the debate that then unraveled. And as anyone who reads the whole thing will see, I got an early introduction to a phenomenon that bloggers now know as the "concern troll."

Wheeler didn't start out by declaring himself a white separatist, a provocateur attempting to hijack the organization whose e-mail listserver was, at that time, a public forum open to all. Instead, he began with a subtle attempt to undermine the authority of Kalas to speak for the League.

Thus began a long train of events which now, more than a dozen years later, results in me being accused of racism -- when my entire purpose was to argue against what I am now accused of advocating. I note this comment on the Patterico post:
I think DaveC is right that this can basically be put in enough context to be forgivable, if RSM wants. . . .
-- Dustin
Well, I've never met Dustin and perhaps never will. While I appreciate his message of support, the "forgiveable" part bothers me. Whom have I wronged, that I should seek their forgiveness? Granting that people have been offended, this was when they were led to believe (by the framing of the narrative) that I was expressing some personal doctrine of my own, rather than discussing the attitudes of others.

That this discussion has been fairly criticized, I cannot deny, but I wasn't writing for publication, I was trying to prevent Wheeler's attempt to hijack the League as a vehicle for his own purposes. That this preventive engagement was successful ought to be counted to my credit, rather than being cherry-picked in an effort to discredit me.

Yet it would be dishonorable to say that the end justified the means, so if my readers feel more explanation is due, I will try to satisfy that demand. Over and over, I've said that this is a long story, and a story of such value that I did not intend to tell it for free, merely to defend myself against an accusation that my friends know to be false. I am not a "white supremacist" or a "segregationist" or whatever other perjorative label my enemies wish to attach to my name.

Nevertheless, since I am in the middle of a fundraising drive to collect $2,000 for a trip to Pasadena -- Roll, Tide, Roll! -- I'll put aside whatever else I might have done today, and try to explain the basics, so long as the readers keep hitting my Pasadena tip jar.

The Discussion Continues . . .

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Could I possibly rattle the tip-jar
hard enough to get to Pasadena?

I doubt it. As much as I'd like to go cover Alabama vs. Texas in the BCS game, I simply don't think our readers would hit the tip jar to fund such a trip.

However, Dan Collins at POWIP has faith in you guys. He thinks you can do it, but as I told Dan and Jimmie Bise, this is an idea so crazy even I don't think it will work.

Why, I'd probably have to collect $2,000 between now and Jan. 7 in order to pay my overdue bills and go to Pasadena. Is that even possible? I don't think so. But . . .

Wait a minute. What did I say before Saturday's game?

Even I, a fan so faithful that I have been known to break down in tears at the sound of the Alabama fight song, have little hope that the Tide can win today.
A 'Bama win would be a miracle, a sign from God, the college football equivalent of In Hoc Signo Vinces.
Could it be? Was this truly a revelation of Divine Will? Could it be that the Almighty wants me to go to Pasadena? Is there some transcendental cosmic purpose at work here?

Or am I just scamming a free trip to the Rose Bowl?

Never mind. Suppose there were 1,000 Alabama fans who each hit tip jar for $2, or 400 'Bama fans for $5? If only there were 100 Crimson Tide true believers who were good for $20 each . . .

Who am I to doubt? Indeed, anything is within the scope of theoretical possibility, when it involves the undefeated SEC champion Alabama Crimson Tide. After all, who suspected before yesterday's game that we'd see Florida QB Tim Tebow in tears?

Here's the deal then: We'll raise $2,000 between now and New Year's Day, thus affording me a week to book my flight, scam somebody out of a press pass, etc. That means I must raise $80 a day, ever day, for the next 25 days.

So whether that's four people hitting me for $20 or eight people hitting me for $10, as long as I can maintain that pace until New Year's Day, then a month from now, I'll be in sunny Pasadena, attending press conferences, interviewing Crimson Tide football players and having my photo taken with beautiful Alabama cheerleaders.

The Other McCain Sports Department:
It's Not Just a Scam, It's an Adventure!
Now hit the tip jar!

P.S.: If anyone has any suggestions for fund-raising incentives, just put them in the comments.
UPDATE: Robert G. from St. Augustine, Fla., was the first reader to hit the tip jar for the Pasadena trip. And he did it even while Mrs. Other McCain was giving me the depressing rundown on our household budget.

My wife was saying, "Electric bill blah blah blah water bill blah blah blah cell-phone bill blah blah blah . . ." And then I logged into PayPal and shouted: "Roll, Tide!"

Uh, I haven't told her about the Pasadena trip yet. Going to take a few more tip-jar hits before she's ready to hear that news. She reads the blog, but not every day.

UPDATE II: Dan Collins links with this encouragement:
If you’re looking for a little gonzo on the subject of the Rose Bowl, if you’d like to feel that you were there in a slightly off-kilter way, you won’t do better than sending Stacy. Consider it an investment in voyeurism. You know that he’ll deliver.
Speaking of slightly off-kilter, Los Angeles resident Little Miss Attila plans to meet me in Pasadena to collect some of the martinis I still owe her from last year's CPAC. Better hit that tip jar at little harder. Attila can really put away the gin.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

'Bama wins, Tim Tebow cries

Sorry to ruin your Heisman hopes, man:

Somebody needs to ask the Climate Research Unit to investigate this claim: Tim Tebow's tears cure cancer.

Also, I agree: If Mark Ingram doesn't win the Heisman Trophy, it's racism.

UPDATE: Carol at No Sheeples Here:

Indeed, the chomplessness of the Gators shocked me. Tebow is a great quarterback and, after his performance in last year's SEC title game, I thought he was unbeatable. However, as someone said, "Tebow might be able to walk on water, but he can't run on the Tide."

Which was what it came down to, really. Alabama assigned linebacker Orlando McClain to stop Tebow from running the ball on the option or scrambles. Give Nick Saban credit for choosing to receive the opening kickoff (he usually defers), so that the Tide offense got the chance to show it could move the ball on Florida. Once 'Bama took an early lead, the Gators were forced to play catch-up and the dynamics of the game changed.

While RB Mark Ingram and QB Greg McElroy will get most of the credit, it was a team victory for Alabama. McElroy hit four different receivers -- Marquis Maze, Ingram, Corey Peek and Julio Jones -- and Ingram's 113 yards rushing were less than half of 'Bama's 260 total rushing yards. The Tide's offensive line was excellent, and the defense produced some of the most exciting plays of the game, including Javiera Arenas' game-clinching interception.

If Alabama could beat Florida, they should have no problem with Texas on Jan. 7 in Pasadena. Longhorns QB Colt McCoy -- damn, that's a great name for a Texas quarterback, isn't it? -- was decidedly unimpressive against Nebraska. His inept management of the clock on the final drive nearly cost the 'Horns the game. Texas fans will say, "A win is a win," and that's true. But Texas only rushed for 18 yards against Nebraska and the Longhorns' offensive line allowed their quarterback to be sacked repeatedly.

Both Tim Tebow and Corey Colt lost their shot at the Heisman Trophy last night. Alabama's never had a Heisman. If Mark Ingram doesn't get the Heisman now, I'd join any Heisman protest Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton would care to lead.

Roll, Tide, Roll!

It's the undefeated Alabama Crimson Tide vs. the University of Evil, featuring QB Tim Tebow. Video preview at CBSSports.com.

Despite their 12-0 record, 'Bama is the underdog in the SEC championship game on CBS. Even I, a fan so faithful that I have been known to break down in tears at the sound of the Alabama fight song, have little hope that the Tide can win today.

A 'Bama win would be a miracle, a sign from God, the college football equivalent of In Hoc Signo Vinces.

Politics pales in signficance when compared to the cosmic consequences at stake in this immortal conflict. But did I mention that Obama is rooting for the Gators?

Just sayin' . . .

UPDATE 7:35 p.m.: With less than 5 minutes left, Alabama leads 32-13. Pasadena, baby! Hit the tip jar!

UPDATE 7:55 p.m.: "Remember the Rose Bowl We'll Win Then!"

UPDATE 8:05 p.m.: Ladies and gentlemen, the University of Alabama Million Dollar Band!


Yea, Alabama! Drown 'em Tide!
Every 'Bama man's behind you,
Hit your stride.
Go teach the Bulldogs to behave,
Send the Yellow Jackets to a watery grave.
And if a man starts to weaken,
That's a shame!
For Bama's pluck and grit have
Writ her name in Crimson flame.
Fight on, fight on, fight on men!
Remember the Rose Bowl, we'll win then.
So roll on to victory,
Hit your stride,
You're Dixie's football pride, Crimson Tide!


UPDATE 8:30 p.m.: Carol at No Sheeples Here is also a 'Bama fan. Condolences to Doug at Daley Gator. Got to be a hard thing to watch your quarterback cry on national TV.

I just got off the phone with my older brother Kirby, who had a quadruple bypass two years ago. Kirby said, "I remembered to take my heart medication before the game this week. Last week at halftime of that Auburn game, I felt my chest start tightening up and said, 'Oh, crap, I forgot to take my medicine!'"

Victory is good for whatever ails you.

UPDATE 10:10 p.m.: A fellow Southerner sent me an e-mail reminiscing about the Bear Bryant era, when he attended college up north:
But in those days, my classmates were good guys, but Yankees. I'd spend the holidays in Philly with my friends, and watch The Bear battle Penn State and Notre Dame for the national championship (my classmates were also Catholic, and the Irish were their Boys).
I sent him back an e-mail message:
The Crimson Tide was to the South what Notre Dame was to Catholics.
Kind of makes you feel sorry for Notre Dame fans. One of these days they're going to die and go to heaven and be shocked to discover that God wears a houndstooth hat and smokes unfiltered Chesterfields.
Of course, being the merciful being he is, God won't ban them to Hell.
That's for Auburn fans.
If anyone wants to accuse me of anti-Auburnism, I plead guilty.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Alabama 26, Auburn 21

And all is right in the universe. Maybe I'm broke. Maybe Obama and Pelosi are running America into the toilet. But the Crimson Tide beat Auburn today. Alabama is undefeated going into the SEC title game against Florida next week. That's good enough for me.

UPDATE: Doug at Daley Gator is evil. Tim Tebow is also evil. Yet I wouldn't want anything genuinely bad to happen to either of them.

So I will not, for example, hope that Tim Tebow gets run over by a bus between now and Dec. 5. Because that would be wrong.

On the other hand, hypothetically, if Tim Tebow were to eat some tainted seafood next Friday, so that he is sidelined Saturday by acute diarrhea . . . Well, that would be a mere coincidence.

Which is not to say that I hope something like that actually happens. Because that would be wrong.

UPDATE II: (Smitty) It's one thing to by called evil by Stacy McCain, but when No Sheeples Here concurs, that's what's called a tough blogger day.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

If Jesse Jackson is right . . .

. . . then Artur Davis is white:

"You can’t vote against healthcare and call yourself a black man."
Congratulations to this overnight Caucasian! He is now a man who can join the Klan. Send the word to Senator Bob Byrd.

Another Black Conservative points out that Davis. a Democrat, is trying to become the first black governor of Alabama. And my Alabama sources tell me that Davis' Democratic primary opponent, Ron Sparks, is slamming Davis for voting against health care. Sparks is white.

Jesse Jackson, by siding with Sparks, is basically trying to prevent Artur Davis from making history. You might say Jesse's standing in the Statehouse door down in Alabama.

Maybe Davis turn this to his advantage. A new ad campaign slogan: "Artur Davis: Jesse Jackson hates him, so he's OK. Vote for Davis -- a Cracker Just Like You!"

Kind of a crossover appeal. It could work.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Roll, Tide, Roll!

The only deficit I care about right now is that the Crimson Tide trails LSU at halftime, 7-3. Greg McElroy overthrew what would have been a touchdown pass. Then, as the clocked ticked down toward the half, on first-and-10 in LSU territory, McElroy got panicked by a blitz and threw an interception.

Further such failures should not be permitted. In the second half, McElroy's job should consist mainly of handing the ball to Mark Ingram and Trent Richardson. Stick to the ground game and just let that big 'Bama line pound the Tiger defense to smithereens.

McElroy can worry about his Heisman stats next week. Today, Alabama must win.

UPDATE: 11:40 3rd quarter, McElroy 21-yard TD pass. He's redeemed himself. Temporarily. Nancy Pelosi? She's beyond redemption, an enemy of God and man.

UPDATE II: Final score: 'Bama 24-15, but it shouldn't have been that close. I don't know why Coach Saban doesn't establish the running game first in a game like that. Alabama's offensive line could have dominated LSU all day. But a win is a win, I guess.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Roll, Tide, Roll!

Now, No. 2 in the Associated Press poll, undefeated at 6-0 after a convincing 22-3 road win over a strong Ole Miss squad, and beginning to convince skeptics that they've got what it takes to deserve another shot at the championship.

It's a good day to be a 'Bama fan. OK, it's always a good day to be a 'Bama fan, but days like today -- the delightfully thrilling hope of another national championship -- are extra-good.

At some point this fall, I've got to find an excuse to get down to Tuscaloosa. Hit the tip jar.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

'Southern populist terrorism'
UPDATED: Send me to Kentucky?

BUMPED 7:55 p.m. for UPDATE BELOW

ORIGINAL 6:50 p.m.: A Harvard diploma qualifies Andrew Sullivan to conduct investigative journalism in Kentucky from his beach home in Provincetown, Mass., or perhaps from his pied-a-terre in D.C.:
If this was a revenge murder for stumbling upon a meth lab or pot plantation, it’s hard to understand why such a big deal would be made out of his census identification card. It’s possible, I suppose, that anger at the feds in general could make a drug dealer murder a census worker. But the most worrying possibility – that this is Southern populist terrorism, whipped up by the GOP and its Fox and talk radio cohorts – remains real.
Via Alberto Hurtado at Southern Appeal, and thanks to the anonymous tipster. I will refrain from comment at this time, as Alabama is busy whuppin' the ever-lovin' hawgs#*t out of Arkansas. Roll, Tide, Roll!

UPDATE 7:55 p.m.: Alabama 35, Arkansas 7, with Crimson Tide QB McElroy completing 17/24 for 291 yds and 3 TDs, including a shwwwweet razzle-dazzle to Julio Jones. Alabama's win in its SEC opener at Tuscaloosa was the 10th consecutive home-field victory for the Tide, now 4-0 and ranked No. 3 nationally.

That's what's called reporting, as opposed to the prejudiced Ivy League elitist speculations of Andrew Sullivan. The following is also reporting, datelined from Big Creek, Ky.:
It was a bizarre and gruesome discovery in a remote section of eastern Kentucky: Bill Sparkman, a 51-year-old teacher and part-time worker for the United States Census, was found two weeks ago hanging from a tree with the word "Fed" scrawled on his chest in felt tip pen.
A man who said he was among those who found the body told tells the Associated Press that Sparkman was naked, bound at the hands and feet with duct tape and gagged - details that have not yet been confirmed by authorities.
Jerry Weaver of Ohio told the Associated Press he was visiting a cemetery in rural Kentucky with family members on Sept. 12 when he, his wife and daughter saw the body.
"The only thing he had on was a pair of socks," Weaver said. "And they had duct-taped his hands, his wrists. He had duct tape over his eyes, and they gagged him with a red rag or something.
"He was murdered," Weaver said. "There's no doubt."
Weaver said the body was about 50 yards from a 2003 Chevrolet S-10 pickup truck.

OK, this is evidently murder in Kentucky, not suicide. Motive unknown. Big Creek, Ky., is a 500-mile drive from here. I could easily drive it in eight hours. I had plans to attend an event Sunday in Virginia, and had expected to go to D.C. this coming week to follow up on the latest IG-Gate developments.

However, if my readers would prefer me to teach Andrew Sullivan a lesson in journalism, feel free to hit the tip jar. Figure 1,200 miles travel round-trip, at 25 cents per mile, that's $300. Five meals at $5/each, that's another $25. A carton of smokes, $50; ten cups of coffee, $20. If you add $125/night for a hotel room, I could make it a two-day trip for $500.

C'mon, readers, you want me to put some shoe leather on this story, or what? If this is really "Southern populist terrorism," who better than me to get the scoop? So if the tip jar contributions between now and Sunday evening reach $300, I'll take it for granted that the rest will come through while I'm on the road. I could be filing reports with a Kentucky dateline by Monday noon.

UPDATE 10:03 P.M: Just wanted to apologize to co-blogger Smitty. In bumping for the update, not realizing what time he had scheduled his own next post, I accidentally jumped right on top of his report (with photos) from today's Green Tea Party in D.C.

What infuriates me about Andrew Sullivan, if I may elaborate, is his arrogant laziness, an insult to hard-working people who actually do reporting (or half-way decent blogging, for that matter).

Do you suppose that Sully might do a Google search, find the phone number of the appropriate law enforcement authorities in Kentucky, and make a freaking phone call? Well, if you suppose such a thing, you suppose too much.

"Hi, this is Andrew Sullivan of The Atlantic Monthly," is a phrase that no law enforcement officer in Kentucky will ever hear, because Sully's too damned important to be bothered with doing any actual reporting. So much more easy to sit in front of your laptop and tell us What It Means, as if you're the only person who can pull a theory out of thin air.

Sigh. Here, I'll let William Jacobson take over a while:

Think Progress, which never met a fact it couldn't twist, blames Michelle Bachmann's expressions of concerns over the intrusive nature of the Census for the death. Steve Benen at Washington Monthly spreads the blame around to Bachmann, Glenn Beck and Neil Boortz. While acknowledging that there is no real proof of anything, Benen ends with the transparently false hope "that their reckless and irresponsible rhetoric did not have deadly consequences."

Sparkman is dead, evidently murdered. This we know. What we don't know, we don't know, and until we do know, how about everybody grab a fresh hot cup of STFU?

If it turns out that Sparkman was lynched by the Clay County Glenn Beck Palinista Wing Nut Militia, OK. If it turns out he was murdered by dope growers or 'shiners, OK. If it turns out he was murdered for perverse motives by some toothless inbred banjo-picker who thought Sparkman bore a fetching resemblance to Ned Beatty, OK.

But if you're not going to do any reporting, Andrew, your baseless speculation about the Sparkman murder is as far from actual journalism as your idiotic obstetric theorizing about Trig Palin.

BTW, No. 5 Penn State 10, Iowa 5, with 13:24 left in the third quarter. That's a fact.

UPDATE 10:14 p.m.: (Smitty)
Whip me, flog me, deliver the abuse I crave.

UPDATE 12:01 p.m. RSM: Two phone calls, about an hour's worth of research and writing -- being an honest-to-God reporter isn't exactly rocket science, if you aren't hindered by an Ivy League education and elitist snobbery.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

'Racial thuggery' or 'social justice'?

Michelle Malkin reports, Al Sharpton will decide:
This is absolutely horrifying for any parent to watch. STLToday.com reports that police say the black-on-white student beating was completely unprovoked and racially motivated. Watch as many students cheer the attack — and the bus driver is nowhere to be seen . . .
Dan Riehl finds this "disturbing":
I can't say as I'm not concerned that America might not end up more racially divided than we've been in 30 years.
There's video. See for yourself. Myself, I'm still disturbed by something that happened Saturday: How the heck did Alabama give up two touchdowns to Florida International University? 'Bama coaches have been burned in effigy for less . . .