Transportation Reform Will Trigger Economic Stimulus

by Smitty (h/t Make)

Coming soon to a garage near you. Right near you. Your own, in fact:

Nestled deep in H.R. 4173 is a provision for "Low Carbon Transportation Development". Taxes and deployment are restricted to red states. Benefits are seen to be:

• Reduced rubber usage.
• Elimination of unfit, bitter, clingy citizens.
• Training infrastructure requirements.
• Decreased hydrocarbon usage.
• Decreased food intake, as you and your teammate can't reasonably shop for more than four bags of groceries anymore.
• Increased Olympic cycling competitiveness.

Oh praise the Hope and Change regime!