Thursday, November 5, 2009

Dear James Wolcott: Blow me

Perhaps "blow me" is not the kind of commentary that would make me popular with Vanity Fair readers, who are used to such lofty intellectual matter as Gisele Bundchen nude. But dig the cluelessness of the world's most pretentious dropout from Frostburg (Md.) State University:
Nobody nowhere no way no how is going to buy a "book" by defeated tea bagger Doug Hoffman, who will now recede into the woodwork of irrelevancy to spend more time with his hanging ferns. . . .
If Sarah Palin's emancipation proclamation is being shoveled out to the rabid faithful as a loss leader, a cheap giveaway, how much additional landfill would be needed to accommodate the return copies of the political testament of an obscure guy whose loss handed the Congressional seat to a Democrat for the first time since dinosaurs walked with Jesus? . . .
Wolcott is recycling second-hand memes poached from the liberal blogosphere. He has nothing original to say, and throws less traffic than Sadly No or Crooks and Liars. He is a has-been pop-culture critic whose employment by Graydon Carter seems to be chiefly due to Wolcott's marriage to a Vanity Fair contributing editor.

Wolcott knows as much about politics as such a person might be expected to know. Wolcott seems incapable of doing any actual reporting. There was never any chance of him trundling his obese corpus up to the Adirondacks to cover this election. He will, however, sneer at any journalist who actually works for a living.

So while I've logged thousands of miles and hundreds of hours covering NY23 -- and have spent a few years studying the conservative book market from a perspective of economic self-interest -- I know nothing about nothing, and James Wolcott knows everything.

Excuse me for wasting more than two words on Wolcott. I'm on deadline, and the distraction was annoying.


  1. No apologies needed. Your fine invective is generally well worth the read.

    And you never know. I'm guessing George Wayne for one would consider "blow me" a welcome proposition. Especially if he's ever seen The Speedo.

  2. Maybe if he had championed pot legalization like Republican mover and shaker Jessica Corry Hoffman might have beaten a Dem.

    Because small government is a Republican issue. Well mostly in name only. What should I call that? Let me see. Ah. RIINO - Republican Issue In Name Only. Works for me.

    Oh. And good news. A libertarian Republican made the NY City Council.

    Dan Halloran was elected to the Queens City Council in District 19. He was nominated by the Republican, Conservative, Independent and Libertarian parties. Dan is simultaneously a Libertarian Party member and a registered Republican. He serves as State Chairman of the Republican Liberty Caucus.

    Too bad Hoffman didn't get the Libertarian nod. It might have helped.

  3. Wolcott is Hitchens without the brain or wit. Just the snark.

    And Wolcott is fatter and smells bad.

  4. Do liberals, like Wolcott, know that the phrase "tea bagger" is a vile sexual slur? If so, how does it pass the editor's desk? If not, how can the sophisticated, nuanced Vanity Fair not know the meaning of "tea bagger?"

    Vanity Fair is either stupid or vile. Honestly, I'm having trouble determining which one.

  5. "recycling second-hand memes poached from the liberal blogosphere"


  6. The Javelineer: Maybe so many of the staff at Vanity Fair practice teabagging as a regular part of their lifestyles that the term is colloquial in their world?

  7. Oh...and by the way: nice quick Fisking, Stacy.

    PS: Have a safe journey home.

  8. That was highly amusing.

    - Brian Moore

  9. "Tea Bagger" is an epithet concocted by Philistines who believe that tea only exists ground to fannings in sachets.

    Proper tea is sold full-leaved and loose by a reputable tea merchant.

    All that they have done is reveal an abject lack of culture.

    I like Goldstein's description of Walcott's appearance as the "Scrooge Mullet." Also acceptable are allusions to him sunning on the beach preparatory to joining battle with other tusked sea mammals.

  10. Wolcott is recycling second-hand memes poached from the liberal blogosphere. He has nothing original to say...

    That's all the ammo the half-vast left-wing has these days. I take that as a good sign.


  11. I would have used stronger words. But then I am not a blogger nor reporter. Just a ScotchAmerican who loves my country more than death.

    an old exJarhead
    Cerritos, Cal

  12. The sweetest revenge against James Wolcott is to link this fine review at Ace of Spades of Wolcott's awful novel (or rather, it is Ace's review of the novel's first page, which is all he could stomach).

  13. Perhaps "blow me" is not the kind of commentary that would make me popular with Vanity Fair readers

    I have a feeling that they're used to having objects in their mouths. Just look at their deep know all on everything teabagging. Wolcott is the master of experience when it comes to balls being dropped on his face.

  14. stacy, that's a very un-Christlike response. For shame!

  15. What is it with Vanity Fair "writers" anyway? I am still trying to scrape the human gum named Barrett Brown off my proverbial blogging 'shoe'....
    Are they all just complete fools that can't write and have no idea they can't?
    As far as I can tell "blow me" would be about the only thing anyone at Vanity Fair could understand....

  16. Wolcott called my writing "pessimist porn" after Sullivan nominated me for a Hewitt Award (which I later won in heavy, heated voting by his deranged acolytes). I wasn't nearly as offended by the insult as I was by the piss-ant traffic his Vanity Fair blog threw my way.