Tuesday, March 3, 2009

The Emmett Till smear

In response to my much-noted American Spectator column of yesterday, some obnoxious troll commenter asserted that I had once wrote a column "praising the lynching of Emmet Till." For the record, I never wrote any such column.

At the time that this libelous accusation first emerged on the Internet, I was employed as an assistant national editor at The Washington Times. My employers ordered me not to respond to this libel, and I was compelled to remain silent under penalty of being fired if I dared defend my good name. Duty and loyalty required me to obey, but when I resigned from The Washington Times in January 2008, no one even bothered to say "don't let the door hit you on the way out."

C'est la vie! C'est l'amour! C'est la guerre!

Having acquired a bad reputation in such a manner, I am loath to deny anything unnecessarily. Being notorious is not the same as being famous, but it's better than being anonymous. So if it helps my career to be thought a vile "white supremacist" hatemonger (like the notorious Walter Williams), then I'll laugh all the way to the bank.

I write for money, and if someone wants to pay me enough to explain how a fundamentally unserious person, a "tedious nothing" like myself, could ever acquire such a monstrous notoriety, please make an offer. Don't lowball me, because it's a very long story and the value of the continued mystery is not neglible.

Let the mystified think on this: Saturday evening, I was introduced to the old college boyfriend of a beauty whom I'd introduced to her most recent boyfriend. The college beau's eyes were burning with rage, his upper lip glistened with perspiration, and when I shook his hand, it was cold, damp and unsteady. With jocular courtesy and good cheer I greeted as an old friend this fellow whom I'd never met before and who, for all I knew, was even then contemplating whether to pull out a .32 semi-auto and blast me into oblivion.

And he never saw me flinch, not once.


  1. "So if it helps my career to be thought a vile "white supremacist" hatemonger "

    Hey, if you're cool with that, then we're cool with believing that.

  2. Oh dude, welcome to my world:


    And yeah, this is actually a different 'kathy shaidle is a racist white supremacist' scandal than the earlier one late last month:


    All that happened was that people saw me getting picked on and sent me thousands of dollars in sympathy donations.

    However, I can no longer advertise my media and other appearances in advance, because their is a coordinated campaign by liberal/progressive bloggers to immediately contact the organizers and get them to cancel the event.

    hasn't worked so far, but some day it might.

  3. So the economic terrorism, that Capitalism is, silenced ye, ehh?

    You ain't the first.
    Heck, you ain't even in the first five-billion.

    Stay on groovin' safari,

  4. While a ".32 semi-auto" has a certain flow, to be "blasted into oblivion" by such a pip-squeak round is laughable. Rather, your protagonist should have been worried that shooting you with such a useless caliber would really piss you off, whereupon you'd merrily pound his.......

  5. John D, I am well aware that a .32 semi-auto is the classic girlie gun, which is exactly why that poor fellow would have been carrying it. Yet even a girlie gun can kill a man, if employed correctly. Men have been killed with less. And I was once in a tight spot where I was grateful that my sister-in-law had a girlie gun, because the idiot punks were too stupid to know the difference.

  6. Ever stop to think that the "obnoxious troll" could have been a certain moron...I mean Moran from Illinois? Timing is everything...

  7. Robert- The best gun of course, is the gun you have. I recall an "Armed Citizen" feature ( monthly reports of armed citizens protecting themselves and others) in American Rifleman magazine, where all the encounters had resulted in the demise of the bad guys. All the weapons were .22 or .25, most of the shooters women. So of course you're correct- a "girlie gun", especially in the hands of a "girlie" can be quite effective.

  8. A Seecamp loaded with .32 Winchester Silvertip hollow points is smaller than most .35s, a thing of beauty, and a thing to be reckoned with.

  9. Once worked a case for a life insurance company, guy got killed by a .25 Raven. He was climbing into his ex'es window, bullet entered near his neck and hit aorta.

    Girlie guns can kill. Even little crappy ones that you aren't sure will even go off every time.

  10. Thanks for the explanation. Also, for some reason (no thanks to any explanation from you), the word verification is working today.

  11. BTW, "girlie guns" are back-pocket concealable, which excuses the man that carries one there. Sometimes, the Glock21 is just too big.