Saturday, December 5, 2009

Max Baucus joke contest

Da Tech Guy: "He must be familiar with her briefs and vice versa." Yes, the jokes do write themselves:
Senate Finance Chairman Max Baucus’ office confirmed late Friday night that the Montana Democrat was carrying on an affair with his state office director, Melodee Hanes, when he nominated her to be U.S. attorney in Montana.
According to a source familiar with their relationship, Hanes and Baucus began their relationship in the summer of 2008 – nearly a year before Baucus and his wife, Wanda, divorced in April 2009. The Senator had informally separated from his wife in March 2008 and they were living apart when he began dating Hanes, according to Baucus’ office.
(Via Memeorandum.) Baucus had Melodee on his staff.

What was Melodee's position? Sometimes missionary, sometimes cowgirl, sometimes doggie . . .

One of Max's Senate colleagues was frustrated that a committee investigation was not producing results. "Why can't we get to the bottom of this?" the colleague asked, which prompted Baucus to reply, "That's what Melodee said to me last night!"

Add your own jokes.

UPDATE: Left Coast Rebels has photos of Melodee Hanes and . . . Dude. She's not even that hot.

She's not bad if you've got a middle-aged lawyer lady festish, I guess. But for crying out loud, you're a United States Senator, sir!

You are not only bringing shame on your office, Senator Baucus, but you're a disagrace to the adulterous traditions of the Democratic Party. You're only supposed to have affairs with idealistic young aides who care so much for the progressive cause that they don't mind signing false affidavits to protect you from scandal, or being left to die when you get drunk and drive a car off a bridge.

UPDATE II: Welcome, Instapundit readers!

48 comments:

  1. NO JOKE - Sign the petition to potentially recall Max Baucus http://www.petitiononline.com/fltp001/petition.html

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  2. Imagine what the Left would have been saying had Mark Sanford proceeded to go and get his mamasita a gubment job… these people’s hypocrisy knows no bounds whatsoever- disgusting.

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  3. How ironic: Baucus was exercising a [very] private option, but now has been forced into the public option.

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  4. There once was a Senator raucous,
    Who went by the name of Max Baucus.
    His staff he did woo
    And did other things, too,
    And got back just in time for the caucus!

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  5. I can't believe no one has said this:

    "Look who we've got our Hanes on now!"

    eeewwww.

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  6. This, my friends, is "sexual harrassment". He was in a position where he "promoted" someone he was having an affair with. Some other staff who might have been promoted but was overlooked owing to the preferable treatment, can sue. I thought Libs made up these laws to protect the downtrodden.

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  7. Another politician/celebutard caught having a concubine. What else is new?

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  8. Good one, Proof!

    Sounds like the delicto was pretty flagrante, to me. But, hey, look at the upside; at least she hasn't cheated on her taxes (that we know of).

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  9. You all've heard by now of the raucus
    Behavior of Dem Senator Max Baucus.
    He wanted his girl Melodee
    To be a political appointee
    After they had their one on one caucus.

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  10. There is a really tasteless Bauci/bukaki joke in here, but it's left as an exercise for the reader.

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  11. So the "L" in public option was a typo, then?

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  12. Dear Penthouse,

    I am a senator from a large western state...

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  13. There was never an affair. Max was just doing *mammogram research* for healthcare reform.

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  14. If I were the president, I would be very concerned...and I would do what was reasonably necessary to find a way to get my people confirmed. - Max Baucus via www.brainyquotes.com/quotes/quotes/m/maxbaucus407073.html

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  15. In accordance with Roberts Rules of Order, he laid her on the table.

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  16. Baucus was just trying to fill that seat.

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  17. If only he was content with screwing his GF, instead of asking the entire nation to bend over so he can ram government healthcare up our nether regions vigorously...

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  18. Legal talent may be what she lacks,
    but our political climber knows facts.
    "It takes years of hard work
    if you work for a jerk,
    and when it's time to move up, I'll climb Max."

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  19. Man, you guys are good. But the best, by far, is ANON @1606. Very fitting.

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  20. Really, the joke is on the people of Montana.

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  21. It became clear that putting a hold on the nomination would be pushed to the fore. Baucus bent the rules and the lady become a whore.

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  22. She was nominated, selected, and assumed the position. Or do I have those out of order?

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  23. Senator Baucus said she was selected solely on her merit. So this was apparently her reward for meritorious conduct.

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  24. "Nominate me. Nominate me. I like to be nominated when I'm being *&^%ed."

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  25. It's getting ever more difficult to trust any member of the world's most deliberative body.

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  26. I thought the shocker of it all was when the article described him as a Democrat in the first paragraph. That's right. The very first paragraph.

    http://effingconservatives.blogspot.com/2009/12/notorious-whore-nominates-another-kind.html

    From this morning.

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  27. There once was a lawyer named Hanes,
    Whose career had fabulous gains.
    Any skill that she lacks,
    Would be news to Max,
    But still, quite a shame 'bout the stains.

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  28. As Maria Muldaur had it backwards when she sang, "it's not the meat it's the motion."

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  29. I suppose that Senator Baucus has a bit of envy for the state to the south of Montana, since his Petit Teton Recreational Area doesn't quite stack up (pun intended, of course) to the Grand Teton National Park.

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  30. I have a better joke for you Robert. This makes instalance #12 since a certain angry blogger tried to dishonor you. It is not only twelve more than he has enjoyed since but is also a faster rate then he enjoyed in his day.

    I guess you can add a rule 6 to the million hits business. Replace angry blogger in the regular instapundit rotation.

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  31. Well, Ms. Hanes, tell us what you have that you believe qualifies you for the job.

    Spunk!

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  32. Baucus is the victim here! Why do you think Muslims dress their women in bags? Because almost every woman on the planet can vamp even the most pious male. She probably pulled the wily female trick of smiling and Max was undone. Same as Tiger.

    Wanna stop the debauchery? Pack 'em in a sack is my suggestion. Just sayin'.

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  33. Baucus, he doesn't even know us.

    One tragedy here is probably that she is both possessed of great merit, and is also qualified at law.

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  34. Baucus is hardly the victim here, just as Eldrick isn't the victim either. Both are narcissistic sociopaths.

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  35. Qualified? She's qualified - to the Max!

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  36. i guess you could say she went to the head of the Montana caucus and still got the shaft.

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  37. What's the first thing Max Baucus puts on in the morning? His Hanes.
    [rimshot!]

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  38. A gal seeking political office,
    went to see a Senator Baucus.
    An aide said "That's fine
    Step into line
    The senator's waiting to caucus."

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  39. "I'll climb Max" - genius!

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  40. http://www.hanes.com/Hanes/Categories/Women-Hanes/Women_ShopByCategory-Hanes/Women_Panties-Hanes/Women_Panties_Briefs-Hanes.aspx

    Cheers

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  41. He thought she was qualified to be U.S. Attorney because she had fit so well on his staff.

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  42. Does she look like Mrs. Baucus? Then why is Baucus DOING SEX TO Hanes as if she were Mrs. Baucus?

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  43. Somewhere in MontanaSun Dec 06, 04:29:00 AM

    Q: What's covered by the Baucus bill?
    A: The usual... A suite with a jacuzi, huckleberry love oil and a perscription for extra-strength Viagra.

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  44. There once was a girl with a JD
    Who went to see a senator from MT
    She worked on his staff
    They had some great laughs
    And now she works in DC

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  45. How many Montana senators does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    Who knows? One is too busy screwing his nominee, the other is screwing around wondering how he managed to get elected, and they're both screwing the voters!

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