Wednesday, December 2, 2009

A cocktail waitress? Dude.

The Tiger Woods saga continues:
A Los Angeles cocktail waitress tells the new Us Weekly (on newsstands Wednesday) that she had a steamy 31-month fling with Tiger Woods and has a voicemail recording and text messages to prove it.
Jaimee Grubbs, now 24, tells Us Weekly she began having an affair with Woods, 33, in April 2007.
How can this possibly be true? Tiger is married to Swedish super-model Elin Nordegren. An affair with a mere cocktail waitress presents a problem explained Saturday:
The Rod Stewart Celebrity Cheating Rule applies here: If you're going to cheat on a Swedish super-model, it's got to be at least an equal exchange . . .
Jaimee Grubbs is obviously no Elin Nordegren. My advice to Tiger remains: Plead insanity.

UPDATE: He issues a press release. (Also at his official Web site.) Alas, no insanity plea. Michelle Malkin puts it bluntly: "Tiger Woods is an idiot."

14 comments:

  1. Ask Chipper Jones how that works out...

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  2. Insanity? Yeah, right. "I'm just crazy about that."

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  3. Umm...lots of decent women have been cocktail waitresses, Stacy. I've done the job myself, and while I'm certainly not an angel (I'm a 54yearold grandmother now), most of us aren't gold-diggers and wouldn't sleep with a married guy on a bet. Lying women infect every job on Earth. Some women will do anything and say anything to get attention, with little regard for the hurt they inflict on others. Just ask any of your Elected Officials.

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  4. You know who this benefits.. Mick Huckabee.

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  5. BREAKING NEWS: Kobe Bryant and Tiger Woods to start travel website offering hotel and restaurant tips for married men on the road...

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  6. WHY TIGER????WHY?????????????

    My pet theory: Elin was cheating on Tiger with .....RON JEREMY!

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  7. "Jaimee Grubbs" sounds like a complete sentence.

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  8. Tiger cheated!

    OK, story's done!

    Let's get back to the real issues - climategate, record deficit, record unemployment - numbers out Friday, Afghanistan war ramping up, White House busted posting fake Congressional Districts for their stimulus plan, bank failures, etc. etc.

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  9. I think revenge is best served cold. Pudgy 55y/o balding man is ready to make the ultimate sacrifice...call me

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  10. The rule of hot women:

    You have to understand that no matter how hot a woman is that somewhere somebody is tired of dealing with her shit.

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  11. Swedish, yes. Supermodel, no.

    Elin's modeling career consists of a cover appearance on some magazine called Cafe Sport, says Wikipedia.

    When Tiger met her, she had moved on to being an au pair. He basically married a hotter-than-average girl a few years out of high school.

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  12. I'm with you uncledan. There are more important issues than the life of Tiger Woods. What hs happened to real concern Americans about what is going on in their country.

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  13. I don't care if they are cock tail waitresses or models, the point was, his was BEAUTIFUL and his mistresses where not half as pretty as she was, and just looked like another dime a dozen skank. This proves that Tiger is mentally lacking if he cheats on his drop dead gorgeous wife with run of the mill cheap tarts.

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