Saturday, April 25, 2009

Foolishness Makes Janeane Really Annoying

by Smitty
Today's backronym for the Full Metal Jacket Reach Around brought to you discourteously by Janeane Garofalo, whose chief meaningful contribution was something beginning with "J". To work. There seem to be for major categories of bloggers: journalists (whom you'd expect), lawyers (Insty, PowerLine), academics (American Power), and, finally, the armchair types (me). While there is the occasional Bob's Bar and Grill that can serve up "just folks" in an engaging manner, the better bloggers are those who make a living off of thinking and writing.

In the third category is a Poli-Sci prof out in SoCal named Douglas, who has glommed onto the fact that hyperactively hyperlinking this site is the best traffic driver this side of the mighty Instapundit.
  • Don linked Don't believe the blog hype in his reaction to Mark Penn's posting on blogging as America's newest profession. I rather think most of us are treating it as the oldest profession, no? Except Charles Johnson, who seems to be treating blogging as an occasion for the second oldest profession. Guesses as to the third oldest profession abound. For the sake of argument, let's consider excavation as a candidate for third oldest:
    And if a man shall open a pit, or if a man shall dig a pit, and not cover it, and an ox or an ass fall therein; The owner of the pit shall make it good, and give money unto the owner of them; and the dead beast shall be his.--Exodus 21:33-34
    Who gets Perez Hilton?

    The whole point is as neatly summarized here as anywhere:
    Prager: "I want gays to have every right. However, redefining marriage is not called for."
    That's the key point, by the way. Not simply "civil rights" (which gays enjoy), but the interchangeability of language. Prager hammers Hilton on precisely this issue, and he held himself up quite well; while Hilton responded with same stale talking points from radical gay marriage ayatollahs.
    I know what 'radical', 'gay', 'marriage', and 'ayatollah' mean in isolation. However, the combinatorial paradoxes of the four symbols together are astounding. This level of cognitive dissonance could only be brought about by a modern-day Helen of Troy. Donald's celebration of beauty in his blog honors creation and Rule 5.
  • Suzanna Logan remains coy on whether or not she's one of those women in comfortable shoes. Irrespective of personal choices, she came out swinging on the whineyness of the current generation, though she came nowhere near arguing in favor of feeding them all SoyJoy. Recommendation: do not join the Navy, as the food may not quite be for you. ;) However, that raging blogger paycheck will certainly keep you in SoyJoy more or less indefinitely.
  • Monique Stewart recalls an old family saying on the waterboarding question: "if you're looking for sympathy, it's in the dictionary between scatological and syphilis." (Not far from SoyJoy, it suddenly occurs to me.) She responded to fellow knock-out conservative blogger Clever S.Logan with a firm caution about generalizations. Some people work hard to earn that SoyJoy.
  • The Judge, of course, weighed in on the S.Logan/Monique brat-worst. I won't tell you the final outcome, but I will say that we're going to need a re-match.
  • The Troglopundit picked up the Miss California torch from Douglas. His attentions were drawn elsewhere, to the S.Logan/HotMES imbroglio:
    Suzanna Logan thinks our society is spoiled. Monique Stuart says “I am not!” A debate ensues. Smitty casts his eyes downward and hopes nobody notices him.
    Oh Trog-a-delic one: why, pray tell, are your eyes drawn to me, instead of the two ladies? Wait: I un-ask that question. Please do not respond in any way.He then goes on to notice this blog linking him on the Kerry 'what shall we bail out this week?' story, and says: "R.S. McCain...seems to think I’m trying to shake him down for money when, in fact, I’m trying to shoulder him out of the way." Wow. We give great advice and substantial linky-love, and get treated like a capitalistic idea at an Obama staff meeting.
  • Pundit and Pundette linked us with the ironic video of Carville saying that the Tea Parties had too many old people. I'm just glad they identified the fellow, as I mistook him for T. Herman Zweibel. They picked up the Suzanna/Monique story and added some interesting thoughts. When it came to the blogo-bucks story, their reply was: "Don't hold your breath, kids."
  • Carol's Closet is not a welcome place for Philip of Who-Whom. In reply to his comments on the waterboarding post, she said
    What's got me so fired up? Phillip's comments from this post at The Other McCain. Read his comments and wrap you head around the fact that given the choice between another Breslin School massacre or a 9-11 or waterboarding a terrorist Phillips thinks it is more civil and Christian to let the planes fly and the kids die.
    I'm not sure I agree. Leaders typically do not have a clear choice like: do X or Y happens. It's all probabilistic, and ambiguous. Hence all the debate. Philip would likely make the least-worst decision, if circumstances dictate. It's retaining patience with the likes of Philip while he gets there that remains the challenge. She also linked us in a potent little roundup of that pack of cretinsour government
  • Paco belatedly tried to get in on the Rule 5 game by posting a mere URL to a woman in a wedding dress with a shotgun and evidence of Cheney-esque prowess. But you've got to go that extra mile and actually embed the photo, Paco. However, he blows the lid off of the Stacy McCain palatial estate scandal. He knows more than I, the mere Porch Manqué at the lesser guest-house. Good work.
  • This blog made the Kuru Lounge around the moronosphere in 60 minutes roundup three times in the last week. Good news, bad news, who can say? They also support us on the waterboarding issue. Take that, Young 4 Eyes.
  • Moe Lane thought that the revelation of RSM's vast income from blogging was sad/funny. Moe also linked a mandatory viewing video on the Evil HR875. We need to amp this up. And Moe needs to do a better job of flagging Rule 5 video of Shelly Roach. Dude.
  • In what I thought would be something linking the Monique/S.Logan post, Carol linked the Carrie Prejean post. Isn't calling Perez Hilton a woman just a little misogynistic?
  • Ed Driscoll liked the Neo-Confederate Lesbian post (if Perez can be a woman, why not RSM? Me--too ugly for chick-tacularity) Ed's other angle on the story was Separation Of Church And Blitz.
  • The Shack-tacular Jimmie had a Rule 5 entry that we'll merrily recycle. I read the title of A Few More Dunks Wouldn’t Have Bothered Me and my mind put an 'r' in the fourth word. I look at my tea cup and wonder: was that Earl Grey or Pink Floyd?
  • Pamela Geller, whom I got to thank personally at CPAC for the work involved in bringing Geert Wilders to speak, quotes RSM at length in response for his support. In pointing out the true nature of Mr. Johnson, there was some collateral damage. Sorry, Green Bay Packer fans.
  • The Cranky Conservative agrees with us that Jeff Goldstein nailed the left rather effectively. I'd roll back a step and agree with JG as follows: their arguments stem from a fundamentally flawed view of existence.
  • Fisherville Mike discovered the power of Carrie Prejean bikini pics. He also offers the following observation:
    When I saw this line in Brooks' column - Obama is positioning the Democrats as the party of order, responsibility and small-town values. If he pulls this mantle away from the Republicans, it would be the greatest train robbery in American politics. - I thought "Just because a guy wears a dress doesn't make him a woman."
    Aye, lad:

  • The BlogProf connects the South Park fish-stick joke with David Axelrod. Rather well, too. He also liked the John Galt speech. I thought it tedious, and skipped it in the book.
  • Hyscience was less generous in reviewing Axelrod:
    I view Axelrod's statement as more than offensive, I see it as another frightening indication of the Obama Administration's views and policies regarding free speech and dissent.
    That was patriotic, once. Charles Johnson gets an equally negative billing.
  • Stephen Gordon offers a warning to government officials about the wrath of the people.
  • The Pirate's Cove pointed to the play-by-play on the LGF war. What's interesting is how mired in the past people become on these matters.
  • Dad29 rogered up for the repeal of the Patriot Act. The good news about this administration is that it, along with the tubie-webs, has got a lot more people thinking about what they want the government actually to do. The bad news is that there is about 100 years of increasing centralization against which to fight.
  • Clueless McCain The Younger, i.e. Meghan, took the coveted Useful Idiot Day award over at Obi's Sister. Prize: a dog in the purse, apparently.
  • Lead and Gold lamented having missed Brooks Fisking Day.
  • The Future Republican Senator has some Rule Five-age.
  • Commander Salamander linked the Alabama speech. Go, Sal'!

  • The Creaky Pavillion caught up with one of RSM's musings from weeks past.
  • Cyber Economics links the WSJ blogging loot article. Desert Survivor concludes: "Since its start, this blog has had 4124 page impressions and has earned me a grand total of 65 cents." Let's see what the FMJRA can do for you. Did you get linky-love from anyone else you mentioned? Who loves ya?
  • Maggies Farm added us to their blogroll, amidst a fine roundup.
  • Mickey's Heavy Haul seems to have discovered some ugly truths about politics. There is a certain disadvantage to being a practical sort of fellow, when encountering a politician...
  • Eric Etheridge at starts off a survey of torture memo release responses with RSM's Dunk 'em Again.
  • Rust Belt Philosophy also quoted RSM at length on the torture memos, albeit more favorably.
  • Meanwhile, Mark J. Goluskin calls Carrie Prejean "heroine". Just pay attention to the "e" on the end of that, or the DEA will be after you. Kind of like the second "r" in "let angels prostrate fall". Why does humor involving spelling and punctuation fascinate me so?
  • Tha Anchoress isn't buying off on the blogging loot rumor:
    Most of the time I don’t make $900.00 in a month!
    I blog for the love of it - because I love to write - but now I’m wondering if I’m just doing it wrong! If there is big money to be made in blogging, it has managed to sneak past me.
    And we love you for your love, ma'am.
  • In the same boat is Political Byline.
  • Tigerhawk also poo-poohs the blogging loot rumor, but adds interesting Instapundit speculation. If Insty is doing well, God bless the man. Envy is just not my strong suit. Which might explain why I'm not politically on the left.
  • Dustbury isn't raking the blog loot, either: "I’m delighted to be running at less than a triple-digit loss each year."
  • The Classic Liberal applauded the Alabama speech.
  • True News From Change NYC posts a link roundup of truly bagel-like density. May have more URLs than this monster, in fact. If you follow them all, you get a free mouse.
  • Balloon Juice took RSM's sarcasm for humor.
  • Our favorite Canadian noted the Pam Geller post.
  • Steve Taylor at the Poli Blog links us and PowerLine with dismay that many “conservatives” do see themselves as the defenders of so-called “enhanced interrogation techniques.” I think it has more to do with winning the conflict than sadism, Steve. Somewhere between Neville Chamberlain and the Marquis de Sade is the "reasonable" position. The tradeoffs involved are empirical and ugly.
  • Redstate noted the former VP doubling down on the torture memos.
  • Tito Perdue does an NYT death dance: "I do so hope The New York Times collapses economically, a denouement that balances and more than balances any sort of recession you care to postulate."
  • There is a good roundup of the LGF/Atlas Shrugged/Jihad Watch kerfluffle at Wake Up America.

  • The Blowback Department:
  • The Most Annoying Distortion of the Week Award (MADWA) goes to Evil Bender, who begins:
    As many of my readers will have already observed, there’s some high quality misogynist wingnuttery being emitted from R. S. McCain. Like someone embarrassed to have passed gas, McCain first puts up a post that clearly works under the assumption that women are merely objects to be used by men. When this is pointed out, he fires off some updates to his post, all designed to shield him from the accusations he brought upon himself by his overtly despicable original post.
    I've hung out with Stacy, can affirm that this EB is AFU. However, we include it here in the name of full disclosure. Not everyone seems to grasp the essential grooviness of this blog.
  • On the heels of Evil Bender comes Heretical Ideas, which blog thinks that Republicans Should Just Admit They’re Klingons. I've always felt myself more a Romulan, Alex, when I'm floating in fictional realms. It's a subjective call, I admit.
  • IntoxiNation labels RSM a "wingnut extraordinaire", and asks:
    Now I wonder how many of these wingnuts are gladly accepting the tax cuts under Obama? If they really believe what they say, then shouldn’t they give the money back, or better yet – donate it to a mega corporation of their choice? Prove you mean what you write. Yeah – I doubt that will happen.
    No, we won't gladly accept tax cuts. We'll fight the disgusting premise of the 16th Amendment, that's what we'll do. This country didn't fight for liberation from King George III only to anoint King POTUS Assclown Whoever (not necessarily BHO).
  • Lawyers, Guns and Money (great graphic, BTW) labels RSM Robert Stacy "Emmett Till Had It Coming" McCain and also produces a runner up for the MADWA award, as if supporting Pam Geller equals making it "acceptable for American conservatives to form alliances with neo-fascists"
  • PoliGazette is in mother hen mode:
    Furthermore, GoV and AS have gone off the deep end, and Charles is right to point out that they have and continue to associate with far-right parties and individuals. “Anti-Jihad” bloggers, as they call themselves, have become Anti-Muslim, Anti-Islam, Anti-Tolerance, and Anti-Equality. Reading the comment sections of these websites is a horrific experience for all who care somewhat about common decency and tolerance. These people - again, I am not talking about people like Donald or Robert S. McCain for they are not “anti-Jihad bloggers” but simply conservative bloggers who are also foreign policy hawks - have become radicals in their own right. Associating with them does not merely destroy one’s credibility, it is also a crime against decency.
    To conservative bloggers like RSM and DD I have only this to say: make no mistake about it, AS and GoV are not ‘conservative blogs.’ Nor are they websites you should be associated with. They are ignorant radicals driven by hate. Conservatives everywhere are wise to distance themselves as much as possible from them.
    PG: I yawn at you. Get some rest.
  • Nappycat is included for completeness, and that's about it. The link in question is a sarcastic review of the Plan-B post that isn't even interesting flamebait.

  • Apologies in advance to the following blogs that linked us, but didn't make it through the Technorati/Smitty filter:
  • faustasblog
  • trackacrat
  • adriennescatholiccorner
  • backyardconservative
  • bitchphd
  • politicalcastaway
  • dogfightatbankstown
  • ennuipundit
  • mahablog
  • nationalcenter
  • ordinary-gentlemen
  • celebritypaycut
  • unitedliberty
  • theendzone
  • mudswimmer
  • grandpajohn
  • newsmediamagazine
  • socialnetworksguru
  • This roundup was compiled by Frequent CommenterPorch Manqué Smitty using his army of high-tech clone robots, and emacs. If you've linked us in the past week and are not linked back here, all complaints/requests/death threats should be e-mailed to Smitty, who will either (a) update this post to include you, (b) make sure to give you extra linkage in next week's FMJ Saturday roundup, or (c) hunt you down and beat you into a comma (or other punctuation of your choice).
  • To be linked in Rule 5 Sunday, please follow the Official Guidelines, post your cheesecake/beefcake before 9 p.m. Saturday, and e-mail the URL to Smitty.
  • The Other McCain is not responsible for items lost or stolen while reading this blog, and disclaims responsibility for computer damage caused by spontaneous coffee spew.


  1. Alright - I'm blown away by the number of links in this post and wonder how anyone can do this without giving up sleeping and eating.

    Appreciate the emac link although truth be told, I read the first few sentences on their site and said to self. Huh?! To be fair, I haven't had breakfast yet so blood sugar levels are low.

    You are all awesome!

  2. Okay, I can type pretty fast. I read faster than you (I don't care who "you" are). It's my one conceit (that, and assuming I only have one conceit). It still takes so much time to read through these "back at ya" posts that I can only marvel at how long it must take to compile.

    I can tell you I won't read all of these posts over the coming months. But I do like to skim some of them for what pops onto my radar. I "get" their importance, but I wish there were the equivalent of back pages on a blog.

    BTW, Smitty, I skipped the Galt speech in the book, too. Once in a while I'd flip back and skim a section of it. I hail it as a classic example of lack of brevity. The youtube version is worse. If any speech in human history requires, requires! a trained, theatric voice, it's Galt's.

    It also requires a double espresso and a pee break halfway through.