Tuesday, March 3, 2009

'You must think we're f---ing idiots'

Part of my job today required me to do some cold-calling on behalf of a county Republican Party in another state. So I was doing my FM radio smooth-jazz voice, with a bit of Andy Griffith downhome charm, and knocking 'em dead.

Talking to my boss about this, she mentioned that she got cold-called by a Democratic organization last week. My boss hadn't gotten the "Operation Chaos" message on time, so she actually voted for Obama in the primary, even though she is the staunchest of staunch conservative Republicans. Her registration therefore put her on the Democrat calling list.

Now, being a smart lady, my boss knew what to do when she got the Democratic cold call:
  • Waste the maximum amount of the caller's time. They're getting paid to call you, and every minute of time they waste on you is a minute they can't spend calling someone who might actually give them money.
  • Demoralize them. Your objective is to convince the caller that you are a loyal Democrat and have been for years, but . . . (and here you might want to choke up just a little) . . . Obama's breaking your heart. He has sold out and betrayed everything you ever believed in as a loyal Democrat.
My boss worked that like a pro. "Why is he hurting people? . . . We're the party of compassion, and he's hurting poor people, he's hurting women, he's hurting black people, he's hurting everybody! . . . Obama is destroying the country, he's destroying the Democratic Party, he's playing right into the Republican Party's agenda. . . . How do you even have the nerve to call and ask a loyal Democrat like me to give money to Obama after he stabbed us in the back like this? Are you a Democrat? Aren't you ashamed of how cruel Obama is to the little people who've lost their jobs?"

You get the drift. The cold-caller kept interrupting, trying to give her Democratic talking points, but my boss lady would have none of it. Finally, after the cold-caller tried for the third or fourth time to argue that everything was Bush's fault, my boss just said in a quiet serious voice: "You must think we're f---ing idiots."

And the cold-caller hung up. Eight minutes is not bad. And just think of the break-room chat when the cold-callers get together. Complete demoralization.


  1. Dude, you're good. The rest of us mere mortals can only dream of infuriating Liberals with such style and aplomb.

  2. Now, see? This is why I am not the boss. I would have told them the punch line at the very beginning, thus allowing them to get free to badger someone else..:/

    Great post RS.


  3. Awesomeness.

    Actually I'm hoping that they get several of these kinds of responses from regular Democrats as the actual Democratic base does in fact notice that the sheen is coming off the halo.

    I am an optimist.

  4. Would it be proper to employ the same line of attack when my Caller ID say's "REPUB NATL CMTE" on an almost daily basis? I figured they'd get the hint when I stopped sending in $100 every time they asked "BMC" (before McCain)...no donations since.

    Steele is talking a good game but fumbled badly with his 'Rush to judgement.' Other than Cantor, McCotter, Flake, and Pence in the House, and Coburn and Thune in the Senate, what have we got?

  5. Jeez, there must be a way to link to R. Lee Ermey when he punches Recruit Cowboy in the sternum and says "I like you! You can come home to my house and F*ck my Sister!"

    Well done, sir!

    By the way, Andrew Sullivan doesn't like you at all. Better bend over.

  6. Hey, sorry to go off-topic, but I've been applying Rule 2, and my link-love is pretty damned unrequited, so far.

  7. This made my day...THANKS!