'You must think we're f---ing idiots'

Part of my job today required me to do some cold-calling on behalf of a county Republican Party in another state. So I was doing my FM radio smooth-jazz voice, with a bit of Andy Griffith downhome charm, and knocking 'em dead.

Talking to my boss about this, she mentioned that she got cold-called by a Democratic organization last week. My boss hadn't gotten the "Operation Chaos" message on time, so she actually voted for Obama in the primary, even though she is the staunchest of staunch conservative Republicans. Her registration therefore put her on the Democrat calling list.

Now, being a smart lady, my boss knew what to do when she got the Democratic cold call:

• Waste the maximum amount of the caller's time. They're getting paid to call you, and every minute of time they waste on you is a minute they can't spend calling someone who might actually give them money.
  
• Demoralize them. Your objective is to convince the caller that you are a loyal Democrat and have been for years, but . . . (and here you might want to choke up just a little) . . . Obama's breaking your heart. He has sold out and betrayed everything you ever believed in as a loyal Democrat.
  

My boss worked that like a pro. "Why is he hurting people? . . . We're the party of compassion, and he's hurting poor people, he's hurting women, he's hurting black people, he's hurting everybody! . . . Obama is destroying the country, he's destroying the Democratic Party, he's playing right into the Republican Party's agenda. . . . How do you even have the nerve to call and ask a loyal Democrat like me to give money to Obama after he stabbed us in the back like this? Are you a Democrat? Aren't you ashamed of how cruel Obama is to the little people who've lost their jobs?"

You get the drift. The cold-caller kept interrupting, trying to give her Democratic talking points, but my boss lady would have none of it. Finally, after the cold-caller tried for the third or fourth time to argue that everything was Bush's fault, my boss just said in a quiet serious voice: "You must think we're f---ing idiots."

And the cold-caller hung up. Eight minutes is not bad. And just think of the break-room chat when the cold-callers get together. Complete demoralization.