Thursday, March 5, 2009

Foreclose and Evict the Deadbeat Scum

OK, as political slogans go, it ain't "Hope and Change," but as economics it's way better than this:
Learn About the Making Home Affordable Refinance and Modification Options
The President's plan was created to help millions of homeowners refinance or modify their mortgages.
Refinancing: Many homeowners pay their mortgages on time but are not able to refinance to take advantage of today’s lower mortgage rates perhaps due to a decrease in the value of their home. A Home Affordable Refinance will help borrowers whose loans are held by Fannie Mae or Freddie Mac refinance into a more affordable mortgage.
Modification: Many homeowners are struggling to make their monthly mortgage payments either because their interest rate has increased or they have less income. A Home Affordable Modification will provide them with mortgage payments they can afford.
To quote The Outlaw Josey Wales, "Don't piss down my back and tell me it's raining." This is a classic example of how interventionist government picks winners and losers, singling out some people for favoritism, while screwing over the rest of us.

When I left Georgia in 1997, we left behind a cute little bungalow on a full acre of wooded land that we bought cheap in 1992. It took us two years to sell the thing, which meant that I spent my first two years in Washington paying that mortgage while also paying $900 a month for an apartment. We tried to rent out our Georgia house, then tried to do a rent-to-own, until finally we sold it at a very modest increase over what we'd paid for it. The damage to my family's financial situation in the meantime was enormous.

You do what it takes. And since what it took was for us to suck it up, essentially forfeiting our equity and become tenants, that's what we did. Well, welcome to 2009, and suddenly it's unpatriotic to expect people to make the mortgage payments or else lose their equity. People have a right to a home, no matter if they're 120 days past due. Pay close attention to the next sentence:
FUCK YOU, SCUMBAGS

Excuse my temporary departure from the appropriate decorum of family-friendly blogging, but expecting me to conceive of worthless deadbeats as victims is a bit much to ask. I'm hustling as hard as I can -- please hit the tip jar, people -- to avert complete financial disaster myself. I've got six kids to support, and I ain't got time for pity, as if pity had any economic value to begin with. Imagine me calling up the finance company and pleading pity to prevent the repossession of my car. (I'm still waiting for those ACORN protesters to show up.)

Now, you can go to Michelle Malkin and read about people whining about the Obama plan. Or you can go to Naked Capitalism and read a detailed analysis of this "mortgage modification" nonsense cooked up by the Treasury Department. But, in general, as an economic proposition, the plan can be summarized in two words: It sucks.

That's why I've announced my own plan, "Foreclose and Evict the Deadbeat Scum" (FEDS). It's very simple:

  • The banks take back the houses currently occupied by deadbeat scum.
  • The deadbeat scum either find a place to rent, or move in with relatives, or go straight to hell. It doesn't really matter. We're talking economics.
  • This creates a housing occupancy in the homes formerly occupied by deadbeat scum.
  • The banks must either (a) sell the homes for whatever the market will pay, or (b) rent the homes to people who weren't foolish enough to take on balloon-payment mortgages.
  • Whatever the ultimate result -- and rents for homes made vacant by the FEDS program may need to be reduced in order to attract tenants -- the point is that the excess-valuation problem in the housing market will be resolved, so that prices once again reflect actual supply and demand.
  • Homeowners who don't wish to participate in the FEDS program can opt out by making their fucking loan payments, like they fucking agreed to when they fucking signed their fucking contracts.
Don't blame me for the rough language. That's how the free market talks, you worthless scum. "Compassionate conservatism" left town two months ago. Now you're talking to the heartless right-winger your mother warned you about. Either make your payments or get foreclosed and evicted. As an economic proposition, one is as good as the other.

9 comments:

  1. I say, old man, you seem a little exercised, wot? Fancy a game of whist?

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  2. Bout time, RS... more cursing equates to lower blood pressure...

    ..well, that and staying clear of all of those hot CPAC babes...:0)

    Sean

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  3. That's a home run to right field, Mr. McCain. Very well said. Someday even the clowns in Washington may actually start to listen.

    And pigs may fly. God help us.

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  4. I see you too suffered the two house payment problem. I was forced to leave a nice house, with only 4 years left on the mortgage, we had lived in for over 15 years. Why did we have to leave, the neighborhood went down the toilet mainly because the wonderful housing scam let a lot of people who couldn't afford houses into the neighborhood. That lead to increased crime and my house being robbed 3 times in two months. Since I had to work and couldn't sit on the porch picking off the slime of humanity to protect my castle, wife and daughter, I got us out of dodge. Naturally this happened just as the bubble was popping.

    The result is we spent a year before dumping the house for less than we paid for it 15+ years ago, savings took a major hit, and we have two mortgages, one the normal one and one to cover the difference we couldn't match with the down payment (and we couldn't pay off because we had to dump the old house.)

    Is the government going to come save me? Personally I hold them responsible for my current situation.

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  5. I worked for a well-known bank for 3 years before the mortgage crisis hit America. The bank that I worked for refused to do subprime lending because it knew of the risk it entailed. So as problems started happening with companies having toxic assets on their books because of this idiotic practice; they started to collapse, and not just one, hundreds of them. All of a sudden we started to absorb these people that wanted to get loans. As well as brokers and account executives that worked for companies doing this kind of shady business. Of course, this didn't last for too long because the bank that I worked for closed it's wholesale mortgage lending by laying off people and shifted to retail. It was just interesting to observe all of this before it hit the news. I think it could of been prevented, but not when policies were being pushed to make housing a "right" for every American from the top to the bottom.

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  6. Yo, McCain. How many times have I told you to never mince words?

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  7. Ah, A kindred spirit. Came by way of Cold Fury.
    FEDS--oustanding, but it violates the Orwell Rule of gubmint acronyms--it actuially means what it says.

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  8. Rs... while my ears are still burning my heart and mind feel an odd sense of exhilaration: YOU'RE DAMNED RIGHT!!

    Side Note: I support a wife and 6 kids and each paycheck is exhausted just keeping even. No vacation other than where we can drive there and back in a single day. The pets (2 dogs, 2 cats) get the Walmart discount brand of food and they are lucky at that. They still wag tails and purr when petted.

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