Saturday, March 7, 2009

Caption contest

Sent to me by a friend of a friend:

8 comments:

  1. Boys, this is one I heard from General Sherman. When Grant met Lee at Appomattox, he'd had one too many nips from his flask and was feeling frisky. He decides to give Lee a left-handed poetical salute: "Here's to the great bald eagle, northern bird of prey; who feeds on northern soil, and s**ts on southern clay." Well, General Lee, he just stares at Grant and proposes his own salute: "Here's to the southern heartland, with soil so fertile and rich; we don't need your eagle s**t, you yankee son of a b**ch."

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Until Ohio votes GOP, we're not inviting their former presidents to the poker table."

    ReplyDelete
  3. That's right, Abe, he thinks he's you!

    ReplyDelete
  4. " . . . And then Bill Clinton said, 'Close but no cigar.'"

    ReplyDelete
  5. I think everyone's laughing because they know Tricky Dick has an entire deck of cards up his sleeve

    ReplyDelete
  6. "Hey, can you believe what those Conservative yokels will swallow! I tell ya, there's a sucker born everyday!
    Hey Abe, what happened to the bullet hole?"

    ReplyDelete
  7. The Southern delegation decided to give a tongue in cheek gift to me on their visit to the WH. Although I'm sure the artist tried his best to get the image as accurate as he could, it still came off as resembling a horse. I graciously accepted the gift and told the Southerners I'd put it in an appropriate place. Chuckling they left. A month later they returned and asked a staffmember if had I found a good place to put the portrait.
    "Yes," he replied, "The President put the portrait in the bathroom."
    "The bathroom? Why there?" they asked.
    "Well, you see gentlemen, nothing makes a Southerner shit faster than the sight of Abraham Lincoln."

    ReplyDelete
  8. So then I said, "How about the Mary Jo Kopechne Memorial bridge you gin soaked glob of lard!"

    ReplyDelete