wireless and broadband deployment grant programsGood thing there's no time for those suckers to actually read what they're voting on!
(including transfer of funds to Robert Stacy McCain for the Robert Stacy McCain Personal Economic Stimulus Program)
For necessary and unnecessary expenses related to the Wireless and Broadband Deployment Grant Programs established by section 6002 of division B of this Act, $2,825,000,000, of which $1,000,000,000 shall be for Wireless Deployment Grants and $1,825,000,000 shall be for Broadband Deployment Grants: Provided, That an additional $1,000,000 shall be paid directly to Robert Stacy McCain in the form of subsidized loans that do not require repayment. Provided Further, That the funds be used by Robert Stacy McCain to It's for the children or for whatever. Provided Even Further, That Robert Stacy McCain will receive free University of Alabama Crimson Tide tickets for life. Provided Even Further Still, That Robert Stacy McCain shall be treated as a cabinet-level appointment for the purpose of income tax reporting, and therefore no taxes shall be paid on any of the aformentioned benefits. And one more thing: Rep. Maxine Waters is hereby expelled from Congress, effective immediately upon enactment.
UPDATE: Via Red State, Rep. John Boehner: