Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Who will rid me of this
gap-toothed comedian?

The skies are raining Instalanches on bloggers who say David Letterman's apology is not enough. The swinish pervert is starting to sweat, as he beholds the vengeful rage emerging among conservative bloggers.

The sarcastic Hoosier must suffer real punishment for dissing Sarah Palin and her daughters. Therefore . . .

Avenge her! We will not be satisfied merely to have David Letterman fired. No, that is not enough.

A mob of enraged Republicans will descend on the Ed Sullivan Theatre, lay hold of the brute, and drag him into the middle of Broadway. There, for all the world to see, we shall disembowel Letterman and, after he has died a painful and well-deserved death, we'll lop off his head and parade it down to CBS headquarters.

Dogs shall lick his blood!

Who's with me?

UPDATE: Chris Wysocki is part of the Not One Red Cent rebellion against the GOP Beltway elite, and he's also down with the "Don't F*** With Us" Coalition. I've suggested that Chris collaborate with Ann Coulter's Favorite Lesbian to coordinate the bloodthirsty Republican mob attack on Letterman.

While it is always a mistake to signal a willingness to compromise in advance of a showdown, I think some of the squishy "moderates" in our midst might be satisfied with having Letterman shipped to Guantanamo for a few weeks of recreational waterboarding, administered by Todd Palin.


  1. You just wrote this post to prove that you weren't actually beyond parody before, didn't you? Well played.

  2. If Letterman is a Republican, I am in.

  3. I'm in, as long as we get Maher first.

  4. I'm a psychic. When I gaze into my crystal ball, I see a bunch of solemn faced conservatives weeping as Sean Hannity packs his belongings from Fox News studios after being kicked off the air for making a non-funny joke. Liberals high-five each other as they get conservatives back for Letterman.

    Be careful what you wish for.

  5. Wouldn't it be easier and a lot less messy to just turn off his show. No viewers - no show.

    On the other hand, your option does sound like a nice Sunday afternoon outing...

  6. To the above commenters:

    F*ck you.

    Libertarians (and many conservatives) have told people for years to not read books that offend them, or to turn the channel.

    You've ignored that sensible advice.

    When conservatives have tried to ban books from school libraries, you've pretended that parents should just send their child to private school and ignored the brutal, non-waiveable taxation that prevented it.

    It's time for blood. RSM is right: we need to get Lee Atwater on their asses and put the fear of lost sponsors into them. And hey, I used to watch Letterman on "Late Night" (I watched his day show, even) but he hasn't been funny in years and someone needs to go in the tumbril.

    Lemme at Cynthia's list.

  7. "Liberals high-five each other as they get conservatives back for Letterman."

    Like liberals won't try to do that anyway, puleeeze

  8. Letterman should have apologized and explained himself right away. He would have been forgiven. Once the press started lying on Sarah, that was the end.

  9. Well played.

    Thanks. I'm striving to rival Jeff Goldstein as an "intentionalist."