Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Lindsay Lohan, lesbian?

That's what the gossips are saying. And there are photos of Lindsay and her alleged sapphic paramour Samantha Ronson strolling hand-in-hand.

I don't know. I have competing theories:
  • A. She's been gay all along. The substance-abuse episodes were basically a cry for help -- the actress known as Little Miss Wholesome, forced to suppress her inner dyke, resorted to drugs and booze in an effort to quell the psycho-sexual pain. Career advantage: Most likely to produce a bestselling tell-all memoir and an hour-long "Oprah" episode.
  • B. She's going through a phase. She's been burned and used and dumped by guys, so she decides to give the other side a try. Kind of like college girls who go LUG (Lesbian Until Graduation). Career advantage: Most likely to produce nasty "palimony" lawsuit, generating valuable media buzz.
  • C. It's a publicity stunt. Lindsay's trashed her own acting career so badly, her agent suggested this faux-lesbo shtick as a way maybe at least to get her some auditions for bimbo roles in straight-to-video flicks. Career advantage: Most likely to produce an Internet sex video that will easily eclipse Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee in terms of total viewers.
(Via WeSmirch.)

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