If I were Sarah Palin . . .

. . . I'd look good in Manolo pumps, but let's not go there. (These hypotheticals always get me in trouble.)

Seriously, however, if I were Sarah Palin, I'd seek out the advice of Dick Armey. When I was up in New York to cover the Doug Hoffman campaign, I asked Armey -- off-the-record, by my own choice -- what he thought about Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison's GOP primary challenge to Texas Gov. Rick Perry.

Most conservatives have backed Perry, but Armey is supporting Hutchison. Why? Given that it was off-the-record, I'd be breaking the "never burn a source" rule to go into detail, but surely Armey won't mind my sharing this basic summary: Armey admires Hutchison's professionalism as a public servant.

To an outsider, the Hutchison-vs.-Perry matchup appears to be about ideology, and conservatives support Perry because he is perceived as the more "hard core" of the two candidates. To Armey, however, Hutchison is preferred because of her competence and dedication to the arts of statesmanship.

Remember that this is the same Dick Armey whose FreedomWorks organization has backed the Tea Party movement, the same Dick Armey who gave a key endorsement of Doug Hoffman. So it cannot be said that Armey is a snob who disdains populism and "outsider" candidates. Yet in the Texas governor's race, Armey admires certain qualities in Hutchison, qualities in which (we may infer) he finds Perry deficient.

Now, let's look at what Armey recently said about you, Gov. Palin. He praised you as a "self-made woman" but then went on to offer this advice:

"So she's kind having to dig herself out of a hole if she wants to regain standing for consideration for a future nomination. And by all accounts, it doesn't appear she's doing a very effective job of digging herself out of that hole. . . .
"I think she's probably a person of greater ability than what she's given credit to. She probably has more sense than what she's given credit for. But I do think there's this whole perception-is-reality thing right now, and she's got a terribly, terribly rough row to hoe if she's ever going to regain some standing and make her competitive."

And then he said something extremely interesting:

Armey also disputed the notion that Palin stands ready to tap into the energy of the vast crowds that have come out at the kinds of "tea party" protests FreedomWorks and others have helped pull together."You don't tap into that energy unless you join it. You've got to be there, you've got to show up. And you can't remain removed and aloof and send in a memorandum or post something on your blog, and have these folks belief that you're really part of the movement," Armey said.
"You have to really go out and walk and work among them. And I've seen very few people who are willing to do that. The fact is, these folks are saying, 'You know, the problem with all you big-shot politicians is you sit on your pedestals and make your pronouncements. Why don't you join us? Get on the street. And go to work for something. Roll up your sleeves and be involved with us.' "
"And they don't have a lot of time for someone who stands removed and says, 'Right on.' They're not looking for a cheerleader; they're looking for a captain of the team," Armey said.

So, if I were Governor Palin, besides looking good in those Manolo pumps, I'd make a point of seeking out Armey's advice and following it. As a matter of fact, if I were Palin, I'd try to enlist Armey as my political sensei. (With one caveat: Armey's kind of a squish on immigration; don't let him talk you into the Cato/WSJ libertarian open-borders nonsense; "agree to disagree agreeably" on that.)

Note especially, governor, what Armey says about "rolling up your sleeves" and getting involved in the Tea Party movement. When your book tour is finished, you ought to do that. You'll make enough money on paid speaking gigs that you can afford to do a dozen or more gratis appearances at Tea Parties in 2010.

Think back to your days playing basketball, 'Cuda: Pick your shots, and make every shot count.

Don't just book the big-city major events on the Tea Party circuit. Every once in while, you should make a late RSVP to a small-town rally -- let's say, in Iowa, New Hampshire or South Carolina, nudge, nudge -- so that three to five days before the event, the local newspaper headline reads: "PALIN TO SPEAK HERE SATURDAY." And then call in to the local talk-radio show and do a 15-minute interview with the friendly conservative host. (There is a tremendous synergy between Tea Parties and local talk radio.)

Also, governor, you should always pay attention to whatever Dan Riehl says. Dan's a straight-shooter and, whether you agree with his opinion or not, you can be sure he's not b.s.-ing you. Note his comment about your Reaganesque use of Facebook:

Reagan didn't fight with the media. The usual descriptor for what he did is, he went over the media's head directly to the American people. Is Sarah Palin really doing anything different, except for having Facebook, blogs and a great many other New Media resources today to which Reagan didn't have access? Just imagine how even more effective his communication strategy would have been if he had?
Because of media advances made in the last several years, Sarah Palin doesn't have to go over the media's head. She can go right through them.

Exactly. If you were to link and quote Dan's blog in some future Facebook posting, I'm sure he'd be grateful. That's what we call "Rule 2." You've already got Rule 5 down cold.

Your new hero: Barbara Espinosa

Every revolution begins with one courageous individual, relentlessly dedicated to a cause -- and perhaps written up in my American Spectator column:

Tom's Tavern in Phoenix was "packed to the rafters" Monday morning, Barbara Espinosa told me. "You could hardly move."
The tavern was the scene of a "Health Care Town Hall" event hosted by J.D. Hayworth, the former Arizona Republican congressman who is now a popular talk radio host on KFYI in Phoenix.
President Obama was in town to address the annual convention of the Veterans of Foreign Wars, and Ms. Espinosa was a member of the crowd who marched from Tom's Tavern to the Phoenix Convention Center to welcome the president, carrying signs with slogans like, "Pull the Plug on ObamaCare" and "Marx Was Not a Founding Father."
Had Ms. Espinosa not been in the crowd, I wouldn't have known about the protest. She posted a notice of the Tom's Tavern rally on her blog and, using her cell phone, sent me photos of the protest that I posted on my blog.
Welcome to the Information Age, where somebody's grandma is changing the world one Facebook update at a time. . . .

Read the whole thing. Ms. Espinosa is planning to attend the 9/12 Taxpayer March on DC, so we might have to organize a "Smittypalooza" in her honor. You should add her as your Facebook friend.

Headline of the Day Month Year Century

Black Man Pleads Guilty
to Posing as Obama-Hating
White Supremacist on Facebook

This is what annoys me about New Media. It took me years of hard work to develop a notorious reputation as an Obama-hating white supremacist. These kids -- Dyron L. Hart is a mere lad of 20 -- think they can jump online and become a hatemongering sensation overnight. And they don't realize that impersonating a bigot is a federal offense.

Where's the respect? Where's the tradition? I got no problem with college kids trying to bring some fake-Facebook diversity to the Obama-hating movement, but they need to acknowledge the fact that they stand on the shoulders of giants . . .

(Via Instapundit.)

Two new Facebook friends

Norma McCorvey just friended me on Facebook!

Also, I was re-friended by my lovely bride, Mrs. Other McCain. She got mad at me after CPAC and unfriended me, and now she's friended me again. My semi-permanent residence in the McCain family doghouse is entirely my own fault, because I'm a stupid thoughtless shmuck.

Frankly, I spend too much time blogging and the tip jar contributions aren't exactly rolling in this week. A nice guy sent me $5 after being referred by Chris Muir. In expressing my gratitude via e-mail, I explained to the the tip-jar hitter that if I can get 599,999 more of you guys to kick in $5, I'll be even with David Brooks (and it's Tuesday again, Dave). Some people have very generously given as much as $100(!), but whether it's $5 or $100, every penny is appreciated with prayerful gratitude.

However, the vast majority of readers have decided on a contribution of $0.00.

Nothing can so demoralize a greedy right-wing capitalist blogger as this mute evidence that his contributions to the 'sphere are considered worthless. When I walked away from the newspaper business to become a freelance writer and independent blogger, I never thought I'd get a million hits in less than a year -- but I was sure going to try my damnedest. Yet I'm beginning to understand why longtimers sometimes gets so frustrated with blogging.

Get as much traffic as you will, it's doggone hard to monetize content value on the Internet, and it keeps getting harder all the time. A few years ago, while I was still working for The Man and forbidden to blog, the once wide-open BlogAds Network became an exclusive "members only" clique where you had to have a member's sponsorship to join. Since everybody hates me, I'm not invited. OK, fine, I'll do the A*d*s*e*n*s*e thing, even though the pay-per-impression rate is much lower.

Well, there are conservative think tanks and foundations and political operations that expend vast amounts of money on "online activism," and you might think some of those big wheels would throw a guy a grant, an ad, or a consulting contract. But everybody hates me, so other people get that money, while I consult newbie bloggers for $50 or $100 a pop. (The Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy offers lots of "fellowship" programs for Promising Young Conservatives; there is not a dime available for Middle-Aged Ex-Democrat Journalists Who Have to Work For a Living.)

OK, fine. I'm a greedy capitalist blogger, and those lazy 501(c) non-profit assholes can choke on their damned fellowships: I Write For Money. So if I have to crawl to editors asking for freelance assignments -- no editor ever solicits me for work, because everybody hates me and some young Harvard-educated know-it-all is always available for any really important assignment -- and if I have to shake the tip jar like an epileptic craps player trying to roll 11 in Vegas, that's what I'll do. I will humliate and debase myself and beg for money. To quote the Temptations, "Ain't too proud to beg, sweet mama."

Monday night, I conducted a karaoke seminar in Alexandria, Virginia, with Frequent Commenter Smitty in attendance. Let Smitty testify to the quality of the performance. When I started playing guitar at 16, I used to take my ax down to the flea market on Bankhead Highway in Lithia Springs, Ga., and perform for passersby to draw customers to my best friend's booth, with a cigar-box tip jar to allow patrons to show their appreciation. That's show bidness at its raw essence, people, and I guarantee you that kind of gig teaches a lot more about "viral promotion" than will ever be known by a lot of these Online Snake-Oil Hustlers who get fat contracts from the Republican Party.

(Contemplate the Parable of the Doubting Padwans of Fu. And ask yourself, "Why a parable?")

Last night, I was talking with my old friend Tito Perdue, who assured me that there is no justice in the world, and that any writer of ability, who has any sense of honor or any principle of personal integrity, is therefore doomed to poverty and obscurity. If you don't suck up to the Establishment and parrot the Conventional Wisdom, Tito assured me, you will be marked as dangerous, ostracized, and forced into a penurious, peripheral existence.

Maybe Tito is right. But I argued back at him, citing the evidence that we see all around us of the mighty being brought low (Citibank shares trading for less than an ATM fee), and the humble being lifted up (Joe the Plumber). Tito is a man of tremendous erudition and culture but, alas, is a disbelieving pagan. By contrast, I'm a barbaric hillbilly holy roller, and I told Tito that I have faith that indeed there is justice in the universe, and . . . Well, an old song says it best:

Here I raise my ebenezer;
Hither by thy grace I've come.

Has God brought me this far -- rescued me and instructed me, blessed me and chastised me -- only to abandon me to shameful destruction now? If he did, could I complain? We are but sinners in the hands of an angry God.

Yet I know this: God still works old-fashioned miracles, if you've got old-fashioned faith. And if I'm getting a little nervous about the tip jar, this is a fear that testifies only to the weakness of my faith. By the time I post this and check my e-mail again, there may be another contribution, just to chastise my doubt. But if it's still $0.00, still I will believe.

Update: by Smitty
The bar had beer on tap and in bootles, which meant it was almost too gucci for my taste.
I was timely; RSM, fashionable. HotMES was fashionable in another sense. The blog chit-chat was fun, but the action began when Stacy "cut" in on an abandoned karaoke slot and blew the lid off of

As he returned to the table, I leaned over to HotMES and said "What's amazing is that this is the first time he's ever done that song." I earned a saucy wink from RSM for my trouble. My estimate may have been low.
He danced wildly (but tastefully, always tastefully) with some of the other patrons.
As he was holding forth on the following DAC, a lady leaned over and asked: "Is he always like this?"

"Yeah," I replied "but he's got a heart of gold."

Facebook ethics

James Joyner has an interesting post about the question of whether college professors should be Facebook "friends" with their students, and comes down harshly against the idea. This in response to a New York Times piece on the subject.

Maintaining a proper student-teacher relationship is obviously important, and I'm not a professor, so I've never considered this issue. Facebook is a very powerful tool for networking and communication, which is how I use it: A sort of combination of dayplanner, e-mail and Rolodex. I check Facebook at least as often as I check my e-mail account, and get an e-mail alert each time I get a new Facebook message, so sending me a Facebook message is even more effective than e-mail, if someone really needs to reach me.

Using Facebook that way, I don't consider "friending" someone as purely a social thing. As a journalist, I "friend" PR people, bloggers, other journalists, sources of various kind, et cetera. And I've set up a feed so that all my blog posts are posted at my Facebook page, where my Facebook friends can see them and, hopefully, will click over and read. Facebook can thus be a way to boost readership, so the more friends the better, as far as I'm concerned.

On the other hand, I understand that many people -- and college professors would be one such category -- have special reasons to restrict their Facebook activity.