Sunday, June 7, 2009

Rule 5 Sunday

by Smitty

...And so spaketh The Other McCain on the plains of Blog: 'There shall be a Fifth Rule. Of the rules this shall be number five. Betweeneth the fourth and sixth shall it lie.' And he heldeth both arms up and said: 'Everybody loveth a pretty girl'. And there was joy throughout the Nets of Inter and in the Spot of Blog.—A reading from The Book Of Stacy, 2:3
Thus, on the Seventh of June, Anno Margretti 2009, did The Camp of the Saints hand down a lesson to all meretrīcēs blogarum.—Mumblings of the Porch Manqué, 14:9
Rule 5 has never had any sort of exploitative element. While leaning towards the ladies, we take time for gentlemen, too. It's a positive, no-stress review of the human form in the abstract. Erotic interpretation is subjective and left to the reader. Furthermore, we don't typically put the pictures in our roundup, prefering to send traffic to various blog-adelic suspects out there in the webby-nets.
However, Playboor last week violated our refined sense of taste and justice, as you probably know. You can't even find the trash on, not that we'd waste time on it. But we will enjoy a special feature before the usual Rule 5 roundup entitled:
10 Conservative Women With Whom We'd Like to Enjoy a Beverage, and What We'd Say
  1. Michelle Malkin

    It's great to have met you at the DC Tea Party. You're not #1 on the list for nothing. You've endured more abuse than most of the list, with the exception of the curiously-missing-from-this-list Ann Coulter. We've got your back, lady.

  2. Megyn Kelly

    Lady, you rock. Watching your delivery on Fox, where you don't hesitate to flog Bill O'Reilly about the head and shoulders, is a treat. Remind me not to upset you, for all being on the receiving end of the chewing would nearly be worth it.

  3. Mary Katharine Ham

    Truly a gift in the humor department. I saw you on Blogger's Row at CPAC. This post is a great excuse to link some Ham Nation.

  4. Amanda Carpenter
    I can't lie. I haven't read your articles in the Washington Times. Or your book. But your presence in the list and the title of the book indicate you're worth talking to. Press on.

  5. Elisabeth Hasselbeck

    Heaven send you strength, lady, for dealing with the nitwits on The View. My reaction to all that would involve Cousin Smith, Uncle Wesson, and something uspeakable.

  6. Dana Perino

    How did you do it? I could not have dealt with the Washington press "corpse" without sounding like a cross between Dennis Miller and a bad hangover. You really put the 'C' in classy.

  7. Laura Ingraham

    I'll confess not to be much of a talk radio listener, but your presence here indicates you're jabbing the proper nerves. Keep it up!

  8. Pamela Geller

    Atlas Shrugs continues to take the fight to the opposition. Thanks again for your effort in bringing Geert Wilders to DC to speak during CPAC.

  9. Michele Bachmann

    Thank you for showing more sense and leadership in Congress than my own local piece of work. You'd make a better Speaker than Princess Pelosi by at least an order of magnitude. Hopefully the voters concur and Do The Right Thing.

  10. Peggy Noonan

    Please, please, please use your bully pulpit properly, and veer away from the foppish centrism. You've the eloquence and the audience to do much good in the struggle to restore the Constitution to relevance.

And now, back to the usual hijinks:
  • First prize in the race to get to the Latvian blonde parade (in my Google Reader) went to The Purple Center.
  • Jillosophy had a Norma Jean roundup.
  • Donald Douglas linked the 10 Hottest Liberal women in politics. Completely comfortable in his masculinity, he posted some Hugh Jackman for the ladies. He also had a post on Sugar Daddy Dating. Includes some ABC video. Possibly I'm too cynical, but it seems semi-obvious to me that this 'service' is targeting dudes with names like 'Spitzer'.
  • Wallet Pop had a post about Starbucks Meets Hooters. All about the bean.
  • Bob gives us Kari Byron, and seems to mention something about finding erotica in H.R. Giger's work. Bob, we need to talk. No, we don't. Less said, the better. *shudder*
  • Dustbury moves us away from Giger and in the direction of chicks with guns, a helpful palate cleanser.
  • Iowahawk shows us the rear view of an American classic, and a redhead as well. This may require a Stray Cats moment:
  • Carol at No Sheeples Here helped to keep the Carla Bruni photo inbounds. Thanks! She followed that up with some Robert Mitchum
  • The Elder of Ziyon posts a picture of a woman in a bikini with a hookah. I had some cherry flavored tobacco once from such a gadget. Once.
  • Clearly Nebulous appreciates Angie Harmon.
  • Lance says that Monica Bellucci has been in the news. We must trust Lance for both taste and content. Except where metal bikinis are concerned. And dudes with funky fingernails and hairy chests. We'll consult Fausta for those questions. ;)
  • Mr. Jeffords contributes some Raquel Welch that we agree is spot on.
  • In sporting news, Right of Course continues a tennis tradition.
  • The Pirates Cove contributes some retro cheesecake.
  • Now, if you've never seen a lovely brunette in heels...with a pitchfork, check the WyBlog for some Garden State action.
  • Paco breaks the silver screen tradition, but with an excellent reason.
  • Political Castaway remembers D-Day with a look at the contemporary military.
  • Dustbury offers some Dolly Parton leg bait, which we gladly take.

Dan Collins suggests the addition of Liz Stephens of Breitbart TV. ToM counter argument: "We got no counter argument."

Update II:
The Patriot Room contributes General Sideburns McSassafras with a monologue that I may or may not have completely understood.

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  1. Great links, as usual, Smitty...

    Peggy "MSNBC Token Republican", however, should not be on that list above...

  2. Smitty!
    MY God Man!
    How can you leave my second favorite Do Gooder (DG) (My darling daughter is #1) of the list?!$%#!? She should be right behind MM who I agree is the skipper.
    For those DGI (non frat folk) I am refering to Ann Coulter a member of Delta Gama.

    an old exJarhead
    Cerritos, Cal
    aka Rod the Celt

  3. I am so late with this hate the conservative lady thing, but there is reason to hate them.

    If you would have (some how, I guess she was not interested) voted Condoleezza Rice for your prsident, I would have joined to your army, and raided any coast ms Rice would have seen fit.

    See, if there will be any lady like ms Rice as your president, the world will be in shock and awe, mostly in shock, because of me raiding every beach she'd deemed fit.

  4. Noonan, but not Coulter. WTF, man?

  5. @Dandapani,
    I never read the source article on Playboor. Rather, I took the list of conservative ladies from one of the chorus of responses, and used that as the basis for this post.