Wednesday, February 25, 2009

John Ziegler, bachelor for life

If I were asked to list everything conservative radio talk-show host and documentary filmmaker John Ziegler does wrong in this dating-show video, I'd reply: "OK, how many weeks do I have to finish the list?"


"See, I've never been married. One of the many reasons is, I think if we're going to live in the real world, the marriage contract should be like every other contract, it should have a certain duration and be renewable. The only reason women would never go for it is that, as you get older, you lose power in the relationship because [men] become more distinguished [but women] get older and by the time we're in our 40s, the power's completely shifted . . ."
Dude. Even if you think that, you don't say that. It's a date, not an anthropology lecture. It is not romantic to think of "relationships" in terms of "power." If asked to explain why you're still unmarried, explain that the True Love of Your Life died in a tragic auto accident and you've never gotten over the emotional wound. Even if it's not true, it sounds better than any other plausible explanation, and it makes you seem vulnerable. Chicks dig vulnerable.

Also, when talking to a woman toward whom you have romantic intentions, beware of the sweeping generalization that includes her -- that is to say, do not speak of her as just another woman. Chicks don't dig that. As a rule, stick to the Mike Damone 5-Point Plan:
First of all Rat, you never let on how much you like a girl. "Oh, Debbie. Hi." Two, you always call the shots. "Kiss me. You won't regret it." Now three, act like wherever you are, that's the place to be. "Isn't this great?" Four, when ordering food, you find out what she wants, then order for the both of you. It's a classy move. "Now, the lady will have the linguini and white clam sauce, and a Coke with no ice." And five, now this is the most important, Rat. When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV.
Ziegler will be at CPAC, so maybe I can give him some counseling in this matter.

UPDATE: Linked at Hot Air Headlines.

UPDATE II: Just got an e-mail from Ziegler, who says he hasn't seen the video but feels it may have been edited to misrepresent him. He had agreed to do the show, then wanted to back out because he had other business to attend to, and so he wasn't really bringing his A-game that day.

Don't sweat it, John. We love you like a brother, man. I'm sure you'll find the future Mrs. Ziegler at CPAC, and even if not, we'll all owe you beers for this one.

UPDATE III: In the comments at Hot Air, Lorien suggests Ziegler was trying to give the girl the brush:
It could be that Ziegler caught something - now edited out - that made him want to end this quickly. No sane guy - on a date with a chick who is pretty cute - is going into this unless his goal is to get out of the date. I've done something similar to this in the past, a bit more tactfully, but what guy (or girl) hasn't pissed off the date on purpose, just to end it.
Hmmm. Maybe. But why do the "suicide bomber" routine with the cameras rolling?

14 comments:

  1. That was rough.

    The most hurtful of all..

    it reminded me of my dating days.. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Top secret memo from Chick Headquarters:

    Men can say ANYTHING, even stupid stuff -- as long as it's with a British accent.

    I have been in the same room with Mark Steyn three times in my life; be it Conrad Black's living room, Toronto's biggest bookstore or the Ontario frickin' Legislature, they all end up looking like the Annual Wedding Sale at Filene's Basement, and Steyn's the hundred dollar dress.

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  3. It's like I'm looking into a mirror
    /weeping

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  4. Introduce him to Michelle, the Rebel Economist..

    But you HAVE to get it on film..

    :)

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  5. I hope nobody thinks I was saying that Mark Steyn ever says anything stupid. Cuz he doesn't! The smartness is part of the whole deal.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Is this before or after his appearance on The View. He may have been tainted by that show.

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  7. This is a brilliant parable for what is going on now with the Republican Party. John Ziegler has made a "Michael Moore" style film to show how Sarah Palin was unfairly maligned by the media as unfit to serve as VP, while Obama who was REALLY, REALLY unfit to serve as anything was not only given a pass but in fact elected by the media's "malpractice" of hyping him. And the Republicans are doing their best to make Obama fail and transform their party image by electing a "hip hop" RNC chairman, embracing online media and grooming their new leaders Palin, Jindal etc. But what will happen for them is just what happened on John's date. The electorate will recognize time and again that they remain assholes. The GOP, minority party for the rest of its life!!

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  8. Take it from a 55 year-old; it almost NEVER works that way.

    Ahh, the stupidity of youth! If only they'd find ORIGINAL stupid things to do or say.

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  9. Did she call Mark Steyn a dress?

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  10. "Just got an e-mail from Ziegler, who says he hasn't seen the video but feels it may have been edited to misrepresent him. "
    AAhhaaahahahahaha!
    Oh my god! Even is incompetence with the ladies is the media's fault!
    This is too good!
    Everything is the media's fault to Cons!
    So rich!
    He pulled the Palin defense!
    What a loser! Is there nothing that you losers can take
    account for?
    He was mis-represented by editing!
    Oh god...I can't stop laughing.
    Really, what a strange little world you Cons live in...
    Mis-represented!!!
    What a douche!!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. "Just got an e-mail from Ziegler, who says he hasn't seen the video but feels it may have been edited to misrepresent him. "
    AAhhaaahahahahaha!
    Oh my god! Even is incompetence with the ladies is the media's fault!
    This is too good!
    Everything is the media's fault to Cons!
    So rich!
    He pulled the Palin defense!
    What a loser! Is there nothing that you losers can take
    account for?
    He was mis-represented by editing!
    Oh god...I can't stop laughing.
    Really, what a strange little world you Cons live in...
    Mis-represented!!!
    What a douche!!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Y4Eyes
    Your argument loses some of its rantiness when you submit twice.

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  13. I love this video. It perfectly illustrates why the MSM loves to have Ziegler on their programs. He is the stereotype of what they think conservative men are -- pompous, angry, dim-witted, mysoginists, and quick-tempered. He's dangerous and conservatives need to stop promoting this moron with zero social skills.

    Stacy, he even makes you look like a gentleman :)

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  14. So what? He gets set up with a train wreck of a woman and recognizes it can't go anywhere. His only crime was letting her know in less than gallant terms. His mistake was going on the show but he probably thought he might get set up with someone worthwhile.

    ReplyDelete