'Equality Is For Ugly Losers'

Some ladies are just fed up with feminism. At the request of readers, I've created a Cafe Press account where you can order "Equality Is For Ugly Losers" merchandise.

The "vintage glamour pin up" design is featured on T-shirts, including ladies' spaghetti-strap tops, as well as on refrigerator magnets. The "classic housewife" design is available on coffee mugs.

Origins of the slogan

While mocking whiny feminist bloggers, I was thinking about the folly of feminism as a species of egalitarianism. The notion that all women share the same ideological group interest, and that a mass movement for "equality" is of universal benefit, is a prima facie absurdity.

"Equality" is contrary to human nature. The human spirit naturally desires distinction, and anyone with a scintilla of ambition wishes not to be equal, but rather to be acknowledged in some way as superior. Only a mediocre soul would ever hope merely to be "equal." Does anyone think it a compliment to be told that they are merely adequate, average, or run-of-the-mill?

Furthermore, the identity politics of group solidarity -- the idea that all women, or all men, or all members of some other such category share an identical interest -- is a species of collectivism. Any reader of Atlas Shrugged recognizes collectivism as an anti-life philosophy, essentially hostile to the dignity (and, indeed, the survival) of the individual.

The so-called "backlash" against feminism, which has often been blamed on "the religious right" or some other reactionary force, is actually the natural resistance of the human spirit against soulless collectivism and Procrustean egalitarianism, forces that tend toward atomization, reducing us to faceless ciphers, fungible units without meaning or purpose. The woman who stands up against feminism, therefore, is a Solzhenitsyn, a Patrick Henry, a champion of liberty.

Laughing at Totalitarians

Dogmatic feminism, like any other totalitarian ideology, advances via bullying and intimidation, shouting down its critics and threatening dissenters. While liberal legislation has given feminism some measure of legal, political and economic authority, its chief power is that of psychological terrorism. Mockery is the one thing that such ideologies can never tolerate, and nothing enrages a feminist so much as laughter.

So, I was pondering those whiny feminist bloggers, who got a 1,200-word writeup in the New York Times, but whose sense of entitlement was offended by the placement of the story in the newspaper's "Fashion & Style" section. And the whole article was basically about "boo-hoo, poor me, I'm not getting rich in the blogosphere, because I'm oppressed."

Gag me. What a bunch of . . . losers.

Blogging at Ace of Spades HQ, Gabriel Malor (a recent law-school grad, whose experience in academia must have instilled in him a horrible fear of fembot fascism) marveled that I apparently had "no fear of being cut off for life." To which I eagerly assented.

Frankly, chicks dig a misogynist oppressor. Which is to say, every genuinely intelligent woman recognizes feminism as a stinking heap of pseudo-intellectual manure. A guy who openly scoffs at feminist dogma thereby identifies himself as (a) smart enough to recognize the difference between truth and nonsense, and (b) brave enough not to kneel before false idols. Brains and courage -- like I said, chicks dig it.

Chicks also dig a sense of humor, as signifying the desireable qualities of confidence and cheerfulness. (Fun fact: Laughter and orgasm are both autonomic reflexes.)

Instant demand

OK, so Gabriel was saying I had "no fear of being cut off for life." What else to do, but to double down? Ergo, "Equality Is For Ugly Losers," which was combined with vintage images to heighten the humorous effect.

Within hours, a woman e-mailed asking if there was a T-shirt with the slogan. Similar inquiries followed. And being the greedy capitalist exploiter that I am . . . well, buy it now!

As I explained to one of the ladies, the point of the joke is not to demean women, nor even to demean ugly losers. (I'm not exactly a billionaire pretty boy.) The object is to ridicule the egalitarian idiocy of feminism. And "Equality Is For Stupid Morons" wouldn't be nearly as funny.

Autonomic reflexes . . . chicks dig it.