Sunday, April 27, 2008

If it didn't actually exist . . .

. . . Ace would have to make this up:
A visit to the Guolizhuang Restaurant in Beijing is not for the faint-hearted. Here the menu consists almost entirely of penis and testicle dishes -- made from the private parts of deer, snakes, yaks, horses, seals and ducks, among others. . . .
"For thousands of years, Chinese medicine has used animal penises to cure kidney and erection problems," she says. But for their medicinal effect to work, the dishes have to be consumed regularly.
"But if you want something that works faster, we have a wine that contains extracts of heart, penis, and blood from a deer," she explains. "That has an effect within 30 minutes." This potency cocktail has been said to be better than Viagra, and it has no side effects.
Raw or roasted, whole or sliced, tip or base: the penis binge is not meant for Chinese guests as a superficial test of courage, but rather as a serious treatment for the libido. "The sexual act of this Russian dog lasts 48 hours and its mating season is seven months out of the year," is how the colorful, photo-filled menu praises a . . .$25 penis dish.
The belief that the consumption of sexual organs -- or of symbolic items like rhino horn -- can have an aphrodisiac effect is the most primitive sort of superstition. It's amazing how this kind of Stone Age belief has persisted in a nation like China that has endured 60 years of Marxist rule.

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