Thursday, September 18, 2008

Lohan vote still in play?

As noted here Monday, washed-up former child star and current rehab refugee Lindsay Lohan announced her pro-Obama politics on her MySpace page by denouncing Sarah Palin as a "a narrow minded, media obsessed homophobe."

It turns out, however, that narrow-minded homophobia is bipartisan. Team Obama doesn't want support from a nude-photo-posing ex-Disney moppet with mental health issues and a butch DJ girlfriend:
Lindsay Lohan wanted to stump for Barack Obama, but was turned down with a polite ''thanks, but no thanks,'' the Chicago Sun-Times reports.
The trouble-prone actress offered to host a series of events aimed at younger voters, but the Democratic presidential candidate's camp wasn't interested, the paper says.
Lohan ''is not exactly the kind of high-profile star who would be a positive for us," a top source on the Obama team told the paper.
Now Lindsay's creepy estranged father is angry:
"For Barack Obama to condemn my daughter for past indiscretions when he admitted to the exact same himself is indicative of what kind of president he would be," Michael Lohan told Pop Tarts via e-mail on Wednesday night.
"His visions of a positive future for this country should be representative of a positive future for people as well. It is looking beyond the difficult times and letting go of the past," Michael said. "Obviously, Obama can do this for himself and not others, when in fact a good president should have hope for all."
This creates a major opportunity for the McCain campaign to gain support in the crucial substance-abusing breast-baring has-been starlet demographic. (Just think of all the former Nickolodeon viewers in the 18-24 voter segment.) What the GOP needs is a Starlet Outreach Coordinator who can help them increase their profile in the over-the-hill tween idol community.

But who has the right combination of political savvy and unctuous shmoozyness to fill such an important role?

Who, indeed? Once I've persuaded Lindsay about the advantages of eliminating the capital gains tax and bombing Iran, then I'll get to work convincing Natalie Portman . . . then the Olsen Twins . . . . then Britney . . . I think $500 a day plus expenses should cover it. Just say the word.


  1. Good luck but don't forget to wear rubber gloves around these people.

  2. Ya know, I'm not a Lindsay Lohan fan at all. Here's a gal who turned a beautiful young woman into a skank that even this middle aged lech wouldn't touch - or at least not brag about. But I gotta say the Obama campaign's reaction, "not exactly the kind of high-profile star who would be a positive for us," is pretty damn rude.

    However critical of McCain and Palin she has been, I'd expect either would treat Lohan with much more class and grace than that. They would at least turn her down in private with a suggestion of what help would be welcome.