Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Megan McArdle ends the recession

Well, not exactly. That credit goes to the Koch Foundation, which just awarded a fellowship to Peter Suderman, paramour of the World's Tallest Lady Blogger. Thus ends Suderman's lame excuse for avoiding matrimony with the lanky libertarian lass.

Some bloggers may express concern about the so-called "ethics" of Suderman working for Koch cash. Ethics be damned -- what about the sin?

"Oh, we can't afford to get married -- I'm unemployed," the shamelessly cohabiting Suderman said the last time I cornered him at a Reason Happy Hour and warned him of the fiery eternal tortures that await fornicators.

How convenient that the Hindenburg-at-Lakehurst implosion of Culture 11 gave Suderman an opportunity to test an old adage of market economics, enjoying the milk without the responsibility of purchasing the cow, pleading poverty as an excuse for failing to make her an honest cow.

Well, no more excuses now, eh, buddy? June is a traditional month for weddings, so Suderman's now got a full week to take his acromegalic inamorata to the courthouse and close the deal on this particular livestock transaction.

She took him under her roof when the alternative was for him to live under a freeway overpass and stand beside the on-ramp with a tin cup and a hand-lettered cardboard sign: "Unemployed Cultural Critic, Will Snark For Food."

Koch is a 501(c) non-profit -- "The mission of the Foundation is to advance social progress and well-being . . ." -- so Suderman's gone from being McArdle's rent boy to being Koch's charity case.

Koch is all about capitalism ("social progress," my butt) which means that this is an extremely lucrative fellowship for Suderman, even more lucrative than being McArdle's gigolo. So if Megan is abandoned at the altar, while Fishbowl DC is gossiping about reports that Suderman has been seen wheeling around Dupont Circle in a sporty new convertible full of scantily clad 22-year-old Cato Institute interns . . .

Well, don't say you weren't warned.

Libertarians in the hands of an angry God!

P.S.: If you want to congratulate the soon-to-be Mrs. Suderman on the good fortune of her fiance's Koch bailout, the wicked fornicators are expected to be in attendance at Wednesday's Reason Happy Hour.

P.P.S.: Megan McArdle has never once linked me. I get more linky-love from Sully. NTTAWWT.


  1. Every time I think I know why I read you, you go and offer another reason. Now, not being a logistician, I do not know what that new reason is, only that it now exists. Why must you confuse poor Igor, m... mmm... master?

  2. Having worked for Culture 11 should disqualify a man from female companionship, and possibly male companionship.

  3. If there's a point to this besides making an angry, childish, personal attack, I've missed it.

  4. Stacy--why are you doing this?

  5. If there's a point to this besides making an angry, childish, personal attack, I've missed it.

    You seem to be a few chuckles short of a full head, Tom. It may be childish, but it's not in the least angry, nor is it an attack.

    Certainly I think Suderman is hip enough to understand that I'm congratulating him on his new job in my own parodic way. I'm also joshing with the couple, as I josh with all my single friends, about the importance of marriage. I try to express "family values" in a way that acknowledges the ubiquity of fornication. Irony?

    And, Attila: This is about as serious as the risk that you would have molested Josiah Ryan at CPAC.

    But if you have to explain the joke . . . It's been this way since fifth grade, at least: Some of what I consider my funniest stuff just doesn't register with 99% of the world.

  6. P.S.: The part about McArdle never once linking me -- that's 100% true, and I genuinely do resent that.

  7. "Some of what I consider my funniest stuff just doesn't register with 99% of the world."

    Odd, that.