When in doubt . . .

. . . blog about Britney. Or Scarlett Johansson. Or Natalie Portman. Or Anne Hathaway. Or Lindsay Lohan.

All great bloggers understand that there is no such thing as a bad time to blog about famous hotties. But some times are better than others.

By the way, did you hear about the Britney sex video? Yeah, her ex-boyfriend claims to have one, and even though Britney denies it, no traffic-savvy blogger would ever neglect a legitimate reason to use the phrase "Britney sex video." It's just magic.

UPDATE: Linked by Jules Crittenden, who apparently appreciates my tastes in celebrity babes. Or, at least, the utter shamelessness of my traffic-baiting.

While I'm at it, I might as well point out that Lindsay Lohan is a lesbian. Eventually, some idiot will Google "britney+lesbian+sex+video" and -- ping! -- another hit. Pile up enough random-Google traffic like that, and you're on your way to blogging greatness.

I learned the random-Google factor two years ago, when I was blogging to promote the book I co-authored with Lynn Vincent, Donkey Cons: Sex, Crime, and Corruption in the Democratic Party. Checking SiteMeter, I noticed we got a small yet consistent amount of traffic from idiots Googling for "donkey sex."

And yes, while that story is true, the reason I mentioned it on this post because I don't want to miss any random traffic from idiots who Google "britney+donkey+sex+video." I am a capitalist blogger.