Two books I'd never write

Or bother to read:

Let's say you and your spouse haven't had sex in so long that you cant remember the last time you did. . . . Would you look for gratification elsewhere? Would you file for divorce? Or would you turn to your mate and say, "Honey, you know, I've been thinking. Why don't we do it for the next 365 days in a row?"
That's more or less what happened to Charla and Brad Muller. And in another example of an erotic adventure supplanting married ennui, a second couple, Annie and Douglas Brown, embarked on a similar, if abbreviated journey: 101 straight days of post-nuptial sex.
Both couples document their exploits in books published this month, the latest entries in what is almost a mini-genre of books offering advice about the "sex-starved marriage."

A "mini-genre," already! Let all "document our exploits," why don't we? Shamelessness as a literary oeuvre -- "Dear Penthouse Forum" extended to book length, without the anonymity.

That clunking sound you just heard was the desiccated corpse of Western civilization doing a dead-cat bounce at the bottom of the slippery slope.