Confession of an unlicensed journalist

Howard Wolfson was just on Fox News ranting that Joe the Plumber isn't licensed as a plumber by the state of Ohio.

This caused me untold heartache because, you see, I am an unlicensed journalist.

That's right: Although I have worked as a journalist since 1986, I have never been licensed to practice journalism in any state. So to all of those who may have been misled by this deceit -- including Howard Wolfson's former boss Hillary Clinton, whom I covered during the primary campaign -- I guess I owe you an apology.

Howard Wolfson also exposed another evil right-wing deception that relates directly to me. Like "Joe" Wurzelbacher (whose actually first name is Sam), I have been fraudulently going by my middle name since I was a baby. My first name is the same as my uncle Bobby, and so I have always been known to family and friends as Stacy. (In college, my nickname was "Spacey Stacy.")

While falsely passing myself off as journalist, however, I got in the habit of using my full name as a byline because if I wrote stories as "Stacy McCain," people would call the office and ask to speak to "her." And so even though I was a phony unlicensed journalist, my byline was accurate. It was the real me that was fake.

I guess it's only a matter of time now before the Federal Bureau of Blogging notices I haven't completed the proper paperwork.